I talked to a friend a couple days ago, that I hadn't seen in a few years. He told me that besides from one other couple, I was the only friend back in Chattanooga that he still spoke to once in a while. I found that surprising and terribly sad because we've only talked a few times. Yet after saying that, he told me that he didn't try hard to keep in touch and that he appreciated my intentionality with his friendship.
It really saddened me and I think it's often true, that as a society, we lack communication skills, we lack friendship skills, and we often struggle to keep long distance relationships alive. It's easy when we see people on a day to day basis, even once a week or month, but what happens when life's circles no longer meet so carelessly. What happens when the convenience is taken out of the relationship or distance, challenges, and barriers are stacked in between.
I am intentional about my friendships and I don't take them lightly. The reason why that is, is because I know what it's like to not have any friends. I know what it's like for the people you know to be stripped away, for distance to ruin everything, and to have to try and try again to create new friends that don't understand or see you for who you are. I know how hard it is to find true friends, to find amazing friends which I'm blessed to have now- but haven't always had.
I remember hiding in the bathrooms during lunch at middle school, praying for someone to sit with on the bus, and even freshman year at college at times wishing I was invisible. During these times, I had friends- but they were miles and miles away. Yet these friends kept me going. I texted them; I called them; I learned how to keep in touch. And while I hid for a long time and struggled to make new friendships in new environments, eventually I believe I improved a little in my friendship making skills.
For a long time I prayed for solid friends. Friends that would see me for who I was as a person and choose to accept the good and the bad. Friends that were of character and could relate and encourage my walk with God- not trying to lead me astray. Friends that wanted to hang out with me, and were close to me like brothers or sisters.
For a long time I waited. And then a few years ago, God began answering my prayers. I'm so beyond blessed and thankful for the friends I have in my life. I don't just have a few but I feel like I am surrounded by such community and love, some friends here in Chattanooga and many in Alaska, Oregon, Oklahoma, and around the world. My friends are the BEST- literally, I don't know what else to say- but they are dream friends.
I don't know how you feel about your friends, if you feel like you have many, or if you identify with struggling to find people that genuinely care about you and see you for who you are. I know that God answered my prayer, yet I know that having friendships doesn't mean I'm good to go. I know that relationships require work, commitment, and sacrifice. And that keeping friends is quite the trick as making them.
If you are lonely, I encourage you to reach out. To believe that God has made you individually and wonderfully and to have the courage to share your life with someone else. Sometimes you have to be the bigger person, you have to reach out and be more vulnerable first. And I just hope you know that you are loved and that your friendship status doesn't define who you are as an individual- that you are a child of God.
And if you have amazing friends, like I do, let's treasure them. Let's be more intentional. Let's love them with a deeper love. Let's be the dream friends that see the best in each other and reach out to serve. Maybe our friendships can testify of the love of Christ- may they be genuine and pure.
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