Why Do Nice People Always Get Hurt?

So yesterday I was talking to one of the nicest ladies ever. She had the most kind, compassionate heart. And yet after she listened to me talk for a while I asked her to tell me about her life, and she shared with me a few very painful stories. And I was shattered with surprise because I expected that this kind woman would have it all- a great family, dream job, amazing life. And yet instead I found someone who had experienced deep pain.

I see this trend again and again with nice people getting hurt. And it makes me wonder.

Why is it that nice people seem to get hurt more than the rest? Is it something about their personality that makes them weak or more at risk?

Or do people that get hurt grow in the capacity to love deeper and be kinder? So that truly some of the nicest people you meet are people that have seen some of the darkest days and grown from their struggles?

I've heard some people say that nice people tend to get hurt more because they are more trusting, they have high expectations of others and tend to be let down, they are easy to take advantage of.

On the other hand, Elizabeth Ross writes: The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." In theory nice people know how it feels to be broken, so they are more aware of not hurting others.

Another question I have to ask though is how does someone get hurt? You can only get hurt if you let someone hurt you. You can only get hurt if you trust someone. You can only get hurt if you love someone. Thus nice people demonstrate trust, demonstrate forgiveness, and love. By opening themselves up to others they risk pain and destruction. (That a mean person would never risk.)

And this can be daunting at first thought. But then as I think about it more, it makes perfect sense. It goes back to the Great Controversy. The love that Christ invested in His freedom was demonstrated by trust in us and then he gave us the power to hurt him. And He gave us that power to hurt him emotionally because He gave us Himself.

But if God wasn't "nice"; if he wasn't loving. He could have just taken away the investment in us and His care. And then He wouldn't have been vulnerable to feelings about us as His creation. Thus Jesus wouldn't have been sent from the cross and he wouldn't have been hurt, and bruised, and scorned by the people he loved over and over again.

Jesus was nice; he was loving and he got hurt. But if he didn't open up himself to getting hurt he couldn't have opened up himself to being loved and us loving him. Because love requires risk. To be loved, we have to be willing to get hurt. And we will be hurt.

God sent Jesus to this earth who modeled a life of both love and pain, kindness and hurt. He experienced the most pain possible for a human being even though he was the nicest person and he asks us to follow in His shoes. So if we dare to follow a God of love, then we dare to journey into a world of hurt. Where we will be hurt, we can be reassured, that in our most broken places we are never alone- because Jesus was hurt in the same way.