God's Not Done

"God's not done with you, even with your broken heart and your wounds and your scars. Gods not done with you even when you're lost and its hard and you're falling apart. There's a light you don't notice when your standing in the dark, there's a strength that's growing, inside your shattered heart. He's got a plan, this is part of it, he's going to finish what he started."

This New Years rest in the promise that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion at the day of Christ Jesus. He is alive and working behind the scenes of your life if your heart is open.

Instead of focusing on the things you could have done better last year and the ways you fell short, take courage that Christ's mercies are never-ending and new each day (not year). 

Take the jump and make New Years resolutions- not because lists and goals change your life.. but because everyday we must strive to make the most of our time on this earth and to glorify our creator.

It's not easy to surrender everything to God, but it's worth it- it's not too late- to surrender. He can change everything and He can make this year your closest year to Him.

On being Loved

When asked why I love Jesus.. I have to think for a little bit. I mean He's awesome in so many ways right, He 's the King, the creator, the giver of life. But really it's just like that song says, the real reason why I love Jesus is because He loved me first.

It sounds a little selfish to someone who doesn't understand that kind of love. I mean we should love Jesus for who He is right and His character, not just for what he does for us? And at the same time, His love for us is something so extravagant and big that we don't deserve-..

Does this mean we shouldn't accept it?

Have you ever gotten a present you thought was too good for you, or maybe just too expensive, and you didn't want it because you didn't want that person who gave it to sacrifice so much up for you?

We may think that we are being martyrs when we deny that good gift or opportunity. When we say, I'm not worthy of that, and play the humble card. Give it to someone else. I'll sacrifice the gift you gave me, I'll pass, I'll work for what I am given.

But we hurt and disqualify ourselves when we deem ourselves unlovable. God can't give us a gift we are unwilling to accept and often the Devil's greatest tricks are convincing us that we are shameful, that we are guilty, that we are too far gone.

Christ offers us a gift and He does it intentionally and personally. He is asking us to accept His mercy. No we don't deserve it. But He wanted it to be an extravagant gift.. He wanted it to be a gift that changed everything.

How can we be loved if we don't accept the love of Christ? And how can we love others if we don't experience what true love is like first?

I used to hate the quote "You only accept the love that you believe you deserve" but the reason why this is so often true, is that you have to be lovable to be loved. Someone can't love you if you don't let them.

And likewise we can only learn to love, by being taught and shown. There must be times in our lives when we are the loved one. It's ok to let someone else love you extravagantly, love you undeservedly,
just remember what it feels like and how they did it so that you can learn to do the same towards others.

Being lovable and accepting love may be hard. But it's necessary if we want to love others. The only person holding us back is ourselves and the lies we've been taught.

1 John 4:19 We love because he first loved us.

Jesus loves you. He loves me. I don't deserve it and that's ok; I never will. But the love of Christ fills my life, it frees me to love other people. It teaches me humility and gives me the desire to spread the joy and mercy that Christ has given me.

May we learn to be loved and love others better as we follow the footsteps of Christ.

Is Christmas worth it?

So much effort goes into making Christmas a "success". It's a day young and old celebrate, that families unite for, put on their kindest smiles, and give each other gifts. It's a beautiful day really- quite magical to many children who often don't feel loved, or elderly who don't have any friends. Christmas is our most widely celebrated holiday in the United States. I love Christmas. Most people do, I think.

I believe it's good at whole. It's good to see people happy, it's good to see families spending time together, generosity, happy spirits, singing, hope, good things. But the question is why? Why all the celebration? Why all the Christmas cheer? All this effort for one day? Is Christmas worth it? And what does Christmas really mean? 

To someone who doesn't believe in Jesus, Christmas might just be a holiday about the money, about the gifts, about the family, and holiday romance, and hopefully better food... But the thought of anyone not having Jesus on Christmas makes me so sad, because it's empty without Him.

What does it mean to truly accept the gift of Jesus that we celebrate on Christmas? What does it mean to know the Christ child? How does knowing Jesus change my life, change your life, and give us hope?

Can we relate to the three wise men who dropped their jobs and work, to search for a King because the hope was greater than their fears? Can we relate to a people so tired of serving the Romans out of slavery that desired the freedom only a Messiah could bring? A people who were tired of following a rule book by the law, a people who were weary and broken by life's expectations, demands, and disappointments.

And then, all of a sudden, He was born, an innocent and needy babe born in a barn and birthed by a young girl. And something was different about this baby. That wise men came from miles away, journeying for years just to worship him, that angels adored him, that he was pure- in a world of sin and darkness- he was light. He was hope. He was different. So different that books were written about him, prophecies were written for-telling him. People were healed by his touch, set free by his gentleness, repented because of his truth. 

Jesus taught the disciples what it meant to be a friend. He took fisherman and gave them purpose and joy. When Zacchaeus met Jesus, he stopped caring about the money, he repented and became a generous and honest man. Mary was set free from adultery and found freedom serving Christ. By beholding Jesus, she learned how to love again. The blind man was given sight, the Pharisees were put in their place, the sick were healed.

What does Christmas mean to me? Christmas means freedom. Christmas means that God sent His son to die for our sins so that we could accept His gift of salvation with Him. It is freedom from the law, freedom from slavery, and freedom to love and behold Jesus. And this Christmas, just like the wise men, I want to come and adore Him. We must search for Jesus, in a world of distractions and noises, the Savior is coming. This Christmas, may we behold Jesus, may we accept the only gift that is everlasting, the gift that truly is life-changing. May we know Jesus and may He change our lives even more this Christmas.

In the arena

I never liked running but when I was in middle school, I competed in cross country. My coach did the Ironman. Every day we trained he would tell me, "Today because you trained, you got stronger." And every day you don't train (except for rest days) you get weaker."

Today, I have to ask myself if I've trained. Have you trained? Not for running a race, triathlon, or even Ironman, but have you trained for the arena? 1 Corinthians 10:24

Have you trained for the great test of your faith, when you are battling the lion in the colliseum and the lion is big and scary and intimidating. The benches are full of people cheering and waiting for the lion to devour you or for you to deny Christ. Is your character, mind, body, and emotions disciplined and prepared to battle?

Many days, I wake up, exercise, sometimes get Starbucks, work or hang out with my friends. And I forget. I forget that I am a warrior. I forget to train. That must really make the Lion happy, when we sleep a little longer and forget to train with the Warrior King. Because let me tell you, if we are not training daily, we will not win the battle.

While living the "American dream" it's quite easy for us to forget about the call to martyrdom that Jesus himself leads an example of. Eleven of the twelve apostles were persecuted. Stephen was stoned. James was killed. John the Baptist was beheaded.

John 15:18-20 says "If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you: 'A servant is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours.

1 Peter 4:12,13 says :Dear friends do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. Instead be glad, for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to the world."

If you feel like your life is pretty easy or mundane, I have to question you again "Are you training and who are you training with?" The Warrior King is kind and loving, but his discipline is strict and training requires endurance and hard work. Are you preparing for the arena? Are you surrendering yourself to Christ's daily discipline so that you can be changed into his warrior?

Loving differently

"God make me bold, make me radical, teach me to love in a brave way; teach me to love in a selfless way."

Have you ever wanted to do something to help someone or say something to bless someone only to be paralyzed by fear? There's many situations in my life when I've wanted to do something radical and kind only to think second about what would people think. Would this be weird? Is this socially acceptable? Maybe this guy will take this to mean something it's not supposed too? Maybe they will get the wrong idea?

Yes there are a million excuses, but the truth is loving people requires taking risks. The end. Jesus risked it all for us, so why should I be afraid to be unconventional, to be different, to stand out with the way I love the people around me? And yet it's hard, I will be the first to admit, it's so hard. And that goes for praying for people and patients that you don't know, as well as encouraging someone, or just going the extra mile.

Loving people is scary because people hurt you. Reaching out means risking rejection every single time. The more authentic you are as a person, the more vulnerable you are and deeper you can be hurt. Yet along with authenticity, vulnerability, and deeper love comes greater connection, and a greater chance to impact someone's life.

I still remember distinct people who loved me "differently" or unconventionally in my life and how it affected me. I remember one guy in Gym Masters who gave up his chance at showing off and getting more points to help me with moves because I was struggling. I wouldn't have made the team without his encouragement. There was a stranger who hugged me and comforted me when I was leaving my parents for a a whole year. Another stranger took care of me when I was sick, bringing me medicine, water, and even rubbing my neck. It was so weird yet these are people I think that I will remember forever. These people reminded me how much love can make a difference and the importance of not being afraid to reach out to other people.

We encounter people all the time hungry and thirsty for love and acceptance. It's so easy to look away, too easy to distract ourselves. But if we speak up, if we reach out, if we give- when it's not expected- we can find the joy in being closer to Jesus. We can make a difference if we learn to love better.

John 13:35 "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

What really matters

This morning was my first day home in Oklahoma. It was quite the surprise as my parents totally decked the house out with Christmas lights, decorations, nativity scenes. Honestly it is the most beautifully festive and decorated I have seen in our place in so long. Then this morning we decided we weren't going to go to Sabbath school and that we were just going to church. It was the most peaceful Sabbath ever as we all had time to talk, eat breakfast, and actually get ready instead of rushing around.

Just last week I was walking around my neighborhood when I watched this older couple fighting and rushing around trying to get to Sabbath school on time. The lady was dressed so nice but her words were so rude. I wanted to stop and ask her if it was really worth it. I mean yes sabbath school is important but really at the expense of your relationship with your husband and kids?

I love going back to my home church and seeing friends and friends of the family. It's interesting though because it seems there are always 2 kinds of people. One the people who are always excited to see you and make time for you. Two the people who are always too busy. Sometimes I'm surprised by the people who I think I'm close too, and don't make the effort to come and talk to me. Then in contrast, there's other people who I never thought we were that close, who show me kindness and faithfulness again and again.  I don't think with most people it's intentional to not have time for the people that matter or are close to you, but when people get really busy in life it's hard to reach out to others.

It definitely makes me think about my own life. I get really excited about things, and it's easy to get busy. I think it's great to work hard and do good things, but honestly what is the point if you are hurting the closest people to you if you do it. There are so many people that live for money, success, and achievements, yet at the end of the day they come up empty. What good is bread if you have to eat it all alone?

It's hard to slow down.. but sometimes I think we have to slow down to appreciate people and the little things. This Christmas I'm full of gratitude. I'm thankful to be home for Christmas, to spend time with my parents, to be in our little country home where there's trails and trees and beautiful lights, and to spend time with God and just slow down. Because God and family- they're the things that matter.

Journey

On road trips when I get impatient driving, my brother calmly reminds me "it's not about the destination but the journey." This is hard for me to remember- because I want to be there so badly. I want to get it down and do it right, right now. I want to be a loving person, I want to be like Jesus, and sometimes detours and oceans and mountains make finding the "narrow way" quite the adventure.

Lately I've been wandering on my little journey. I've been changing. I've been growing. And I don't know the destination- it's not crystal clear- but I know who I'm traveling with. Sometimes that's enough.

I was talking to a mentor the other day and she told me "Your going through a transition phase." And while I agree, I have to laugh because I feel like my whole life has been a big transition. There's always been alot of change- much because I like running- I like exploring- and then life also happens..  different states, different countries, different friends, different majors, different hobbies, personalities.. Man praise God I have the same loving family and same heavenly Father! And I'm so thankful that while I am constantly learning new ways to see God, He stays the same every day.

My journey with God started a long time ago- and I have my family to thank for that. For a long time though my relationship with God was what I learned at church, it was my parents', it was the stories I was told, it wasn't the God I knew. I strived and strived, the walk looked right, but Jesus wasn't my best friend. When I get baptized at age 12, I remembered feeling strongly convicted that I had to give up myself to follow God but not knowing how or what to give up. I made lists of ways to do better, and for a while I felt my spiritual achievements were an A plus. For so long I lived a walk with God striving.. but day by day I was reminded of the ways I needed to grow and the weaknesses in my personality and individuality. I wasn't truly experiencing freedom and knowing the joy of walking with Christ.

It wasn't until college, that Peru happened, camp drama went down, boy drama went down. Life went down and up at the same time. I knew God was asking me to switch majors to nursing and I was so mad about that. Yet after feeling broken about so many things in my life, I found peace surrendering everything to God for the first time. And as I did, I let go of the expectations to what a good Christian looks like was and the things I was expected to do, and started living more authentically. And it was messy. My journey got messy. I hurt people around me, I doubted God's plan's for my life, I made alot of mistakes... but I saw Jesus clearer. And He changed me, He never left me, He always provided for me.

The thing is I don't know exactly who I am; I don't know exactly what God's doing. I know He has alot of work to do. But I'm so thankful I'm not who I was 5 years ago spiritually. I'm not the same girl who always had to say the right things and act the same ways, I am finally free to actually live genuinely. I've received alot of criticism from alot of people since this transition took place. My conservative friends point out all the rules I'm not following close enough. And my liberal friends tell me I'm acting fake and legalistic. And sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in the middle. I don't know yet where I stand on little details and that's ok.

Rick Warren says that "Transformation is a process. As life happens there will be tons of ups and downs, moments on mountain tops and moments in deep valleys of despair." But the God I know is not only the God of the valleys but of the mountains. He swims through Oceans, fasts in deserts, and will climb the highest peak just to reveal His love to His children. Isaiah 43:2 says " When you pass through the waters I will be with you, and through the rivers they will not overflow you, and through the fires you will not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you."

We each have journeys and they are all different. It is easy to look at someone and judge their journey but it is harder to do your own personal journey the best that you can.

Overcoming

If you've ever had a nightmare you can't break, you like me know that fear is one of the most powerful influences in the world. I think it must be one of Satan's favorite mechanisms.
Because it literally puts us in stagnation, we tremble and freeze, for a moment our mind is overcome by darkness instead of the peace that God calls us to embrace by experiencing faith in Him.

There's so many things to be afraid of. Natural disaster, shootings, rape, what others think of you, not being good enough, hospitals, failing...
You could live your whole life being afraid. And some people do.
But yet God speaks "Fear not" 365 times.

I've been listening to Joyce Myers and I really recommend her for Biblical psychology talks on positive thinking and how you can claim God's promises and let them transform your life. One of the things she says is that we can't just think about the things that come to our brain. When we receive a thought we have to selectively choose whether or not we want to meditate on that thought based on whether it is in line with God's character.

People are always gonna say things- people are gonna hurt you. There's always going to be avid fails in your personal life and ways you could have done better. And there's going to be tragedy, there's going to be sickness, pain, and death. Yet the way we think about those things will transform our life. We will either strengthen ourselves or weaken ourselves by our thought patterns and we have to think about what were thinking about in order to overcome.

2 Corinthians 10:5 says we have to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.

We have so many promises from God that He is going to sustain us, that He will never leave us. He commands us not to be afraid because he knows fear will hurt us. He knows that this world is a war- that it's intense and scary at times- but He also knows that He will win in the end. If we believe He is powerful, and we know that He loves us, we can call upon Him to overcome fear in any area of our life and He will be faithful.

Isaiah 41:10 says "Fear not for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

One of the things that helps me not to be afraid is to think about situations when I've been afraid in the past and how God has helped me overcome. There's been so many things in my personal life that have been really daunting for me and yet Christ has never left me nor forsaken me and that gives me courage. God is a kind Father so I think although at times it feels like He's asking us to jump into deep waters.. the truth is if we look back at our pasts we can see that he baby steps us. He proves His faithfulness for us over and over again by teaching us how to swim in the kiddy pool, the middle pool, jumping off the side, and then finally the bigger bodies of water and bigger jumps. But He's gotten us there, and He's prepared us. And the amazing thing is He never leaves us. He still says I'll swim with you, I'll do it with you, I'll carry you when your too weak to do it on your own."

Fear is real at times, but God's love and faithfulness is a gift that we can choose to receive. I don't know what areas you may face fear in, but I know that God is a courageous Father who fights for and with His children. There is nothing that is too big or too daunting for Christ and when you are on his team, you will be able to overcome even the scariest battles.

I pray that we will find peace. That in a world that is dark, we would see the light. That when we are afraid, instead of looking around or at ourselves, that we would look to Christ. That the spirit of peace and the joy of Christ would invade the atmospheres around where we live and work. That we would be people that know the power and love of God and that the confidence of being His child would change our lives.

Thanks for reading, and doing life with me. I'm so far from having it all together, but I know that Christ's grace is more than enough for the both of us.