Lord of the Nights

I'm currently reading a book "How to Survive a Shipwreck" by Jonathan Martin and his subtitle is "Help is on the way and love is already there." I don't know about you, but it gives me great, great comfort to know that God is Lord of the shipwrecks in our lives, the nights, and the dark as well as He is the God of light and everything glorious. 

Because of sin, sometimes we all face darkness in our lives, and at some times we will come face to face with our greatest fears, and our doubts and shame threaten to overthrow us. Sometimes we just go through hard things- when we end up with more desperate prayers... God get me through the night or Lord help me sleep. Maybe even, Father help me live; help me forgive; give me a reason for this.

The first time I read about Jacob wrestling with God in the Bible, I was confused. Why would a human wrestle God, and then my bigger question Why did God wrestle back? Why did he let him go off with a broken hip; why did he bless him that day- in the struggle for his life?

As I was studying and thinking a little more, Jacob was wrestling with alot that night both in his head and heart as well as his body. He was wrestling with shame from deceiving his father and brother, wrestling with his fears of confronting his brother's army the next day, the fears of death, fighting surrender and God's plan for His life.

Sometimes it's easier to fight physical battles then mental and spiritual warfares. But Jacob confronted his failures, weaknesses, and sins and dares to face God. It was an exhausting and humiliating struggle that crippled him. I'm sure it crippled his pride, tore away every idol he had clung too for comfort, stripped him of his old identity.. I'm sure it was painful, exhausting, and difficult. But God had mercy on Jacob; blessed him; and gave him a new name Israel. He was a new man who had full reliance on Christ and had experienced the power of forgiveness.

Satan loves sin but sometimes I think he loves the result of sin: shame and separation from God even more than the acts itself. When we mess up, his goal is to show us that we are unworthy and cannot come back to God. He doesn't want us to wrestle because then we would have to look God in the face again. He wants us to run away, to wimp out, to stay paralyzed in fear, focusing on ourselves.

But even in your biggest sins, even in your moment of fear, when the darkness has come over you, when the shipwreck threatens to take all your life away- you can look to God. And if you are angry, you can fight him, you can yell at him, ask him your questions, challenge Him, but look to Him. If you see God, in your night, or in your days, you will be changed. So do not fear to give everything to God because He can handle every part of you, every fear, and every struggle and he can give you the courage to overcome and change you into a new man/ woman for His kingdom.