How Independence Kills Relationships

I cling to independence like my skydiving instructor. It's my trophy and confidence. If you can convince yourself that you are brave, smart, and invincible- it's so much easier for the rest of the world to believe in you as well.

And after all, who wants to depend on others? Who wants to be insufficient to provide for their own needs? If we can make our own money, travel the world, adventure alone- we can do it all right- we don't need anyone.

And if I don't need anyone.. then maybe I don't want anyone.
No more opinions about where I'm going, what I'm watching. No more nosy women and bratty kids.. YOLO I can do my own life exactly how I want because it's MINE.
Freedom.

Or slavery. Depending on how you look at it. Go back in time to meet God's law protecting angel Lucifer. Lucifer was intelligent, wise, he thought he was set apart, thought that maybe he was something special. Maybe he could be good- maybe he just wanted to fly solo for a bit... Just wanted to try and see what he could do on his own.

Relationships take work and sacrifice. Independence just takes a belief in oneself and fulfilling one's own desires. It seemed so fast that one third of the angels were cast down from heaven with ring leader Lucifer of independent self-sufficiency.

And after him, it seemed we all wanted to know what it was like to make our own choices, experience our own "freedom", without considering the consequences and costs to others.. Eve thought of herself and ate accordingly, Adam blamed Eve, and they decided to hide from God. Sin makes us want to run away from our Creator who can fulfill our needs and teaches us to work our desires for ourselves- independently from Christ and each other- we try to meet our own needs and end up addicts to our own games.

Independence is a plan to lose because at one point or another, we realize we are not the super star we always thought. We are not invincible- immortal- or wise. We are not without sin, and we will fall captive to temptations and disappointments. Sooner or later we forget the childhood stories of "you can do anything" and we realize we are just like the other people in the world. Sad? Maybe. Yet knowing this about ourselves: that we are broken, insufficient humans should give us courage and hope.

The reason why is we can stop believing in ourselves. We can let go of our high expectations. We can meet the Savior that never wanted us to live independently- but wanted us to look for Him for every breath of air and ounce of courage. We can learn that this world does not revolve around us and we can join hands with the body of Christ.

Independence kills my relationships because relationships are other-centered and independence is a rebellion of me-centeredness. What I want shouldn't be the deciding factor. We have to get beyond our own thoughts and expectations, and begin to look around at other people, and most importantly upward to the face of Christ. God is not a God of independence. He is a trinity- three persons- illustrating a deep relationship of sacrifice and other-centeredness. Jesus is the example of pure love- sacrificing His desires- to give us a freedom that can never come from trusting ourselves.