But I'm Afraid

"What are you afraid of child, he whispered?.. The secret is that you must do."

I have an embarrassing confession to make..

I'm afraid ALOT.

There was a time in my life when I felt so invincible. I was such a brave kid- tell me jump off the mountain and I would do a front flip. I would try anything and everything and being brave was just second nature. And yet sometime it happened..

My Fear became bigger than my faith

My fear became a stronger influence then my faith in myself, my abilities, and sometimes even God.

Just yesterday I was snowboarding on Aspen Mountain and I fell off the lift getting off, slid onto a steep icy blue hill, and yelled at my brother.. I can't do this I'm scared.

And he said, "stop being afraid- let's go"

I screamed. I had anxiety. And then I clipped in my board and after sliding my butt partway down the mountain remembered that I knew how to carve and carving worked so much better. And it was fine, it was totally fine, it could have been better if I was carving more confidently.. but I let my fear limit my abilities and limit my mountains and that hurt my performance.

And the reality is that we do this often (many times subconciously) every day.

One of my biggest resolutions for the New Year is to love better and to fear less. To love and give generously and stop letting fears define my relationships, work, and free time.

I challenge you to think about your dreams- like deep in your heart- and to think about things God may be asking you to do, people he may want you to reach, activities you should try-- and to choose to be courageous. 

To choose that this year Fear will have less power in your life and Love will have more. Because truly, as cliche as it may sound, if God is on our side, who can stand against us?

I understand how it feels to be afraid, to be terrified to do something, and I know how it feels to run away. And although it's comfortable sometimes I've wondered.. what would happen if I hadn't ran? What would happen if I would have fought through?

But I also understand how it feels to be terrified, and to be standing on the edge of the ridge, and to jump- not because of the people screaming at you to jump- but because in your heart you choose to be a warrior, you choose to be courageous. And at the end of that jump, when your wet, and cold, swimming in a deep new sea, there is so much joy.

This New Year, you have a decision to make- on whether you will jump in with God or whether you will run or wait in the shadows. And jumping is scary- but jumping is exhilarating- it will deepen your faith in God and your confidence. So may we have courage to overcome our personal giants as we look to our Biblical heros, may we have confidence to love without expectations as we experience the outpouring of Christ's love for us, and may we be brave warrior children for the King.