Tribute to the Gym

Here's a tribute to creative writing and the days when I'm working at the desk at the gym busting up laughing. Here's to you, the people who can't seem to get their act together on gym day, and the rest of us who try not laugh at you. Crazy things you may encounter at the gym:

1. Noises You hear so many straining and strange noises that you feel should be limited to the bedroom and you get totally cool with ignoring it.. until you hear "that guy" There's always one who needs a pep talk on proper weight limits.

2. Boyfriends and girlfriends. After a few sessions on couple leg stretching you watch patterns of guys try to teach their girlfriends to do pull ups and bench press.. to no avail.

3. Spotters. Your just chilling at the gym when some super buff dude of America asks you to spot him on his 200 lb chest press and your just like bro I can't hold that.

4. Future heart attack of Americas. These are people who you hear huffing and puffing 50 feet away from their treadmill and you have  to pray will survive their workout safely. I applaud you 565 pound man but please let's heart attack outside my fitness floor when I'm not on duty.

5. The confused. They take their time walking around the gym like a maze runner and occasionally ask questions about exercise machines that don't exist.

6. The Biceps Flexer. It never ceases to amaze me how proud men are of their biceps. They just can't seem to overcome the temptation to flex for a few seconds--minutes-- in the big weight room mirrors. Once in a while they even ask me for a measurement or to take a picture LOL.

7. Barbie. I applaud this girl for straightening her hair and having makeup on point even when she works out. How she leaves her hair down, and doesn't get sweaty, while doing her workout makes me want to give her beauty points on strategy.

8. The pounder. It's like once you put on the earphones, you don't realize that suddenly letting go of machinery can create loud noises. These people just enjoy tension- the push and pull- and bang bang seems to bring them joy.

So thanks guys, you are the best, because you make me laugh so hard watching you work out at the gym.