Be hanged or be crucified?

"When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty silver coins to the chief priests and the elders. "I have sinned" he said for I have betrayed innocent blood."... "So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself." Matthew 27:3

From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani- which means, "My God, my God why have you forsaken me"..."And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit." Matthew 27: 46,50

Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour? he asked Peter. Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak."...."Look the hour is near." Matthew 26:42

Galations 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

In Matthew 27 you read two stories about two different deaths: the death of Judas and the death of Jesus. Judas hung himself. Jesus was crucified.
I wonder to myself if Judas ever really loved Jesus and really willed to follow Him. Was Judas always the "bad"/"lost" disciple? Or did the world's things (money) just get in the way? I think that Jesus illustrates an important truth, you can choose cross or you can choose the world's ways. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't follow God and still follow the things of this world. Their value will be lost and you learn to love Jesus more and more. For the motto of heaven and hell not only differ but are opposites. The theme of heaven is "Me last, God and others first". This world, capitalistic as we are, happily promotes the theme of selfishness and "Me first." God clearly says "If desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all." In the beginning Lucifer started the great controversy in the first place with the spirit of selfishness desiring to exalt himself wanting God's power but not character. Thus this world and God's ways will smash and you must choose. Judas represents what will happen if we get distracted by things of this world and do not keep our focus on Christ.

How do we live between the mountain and the multitude?

I am scared for my spiritual walk this summer, really scared. Because I want to get even closer to God than I am now, but I am scared how seeing all my friends and people that used to be idols will distract me. The answer is I have to keep up my God time.
It's really frustrating when your no longer on the same spiritual level with friends you used to be on the same level as. At the same time, what a blessing when you connect with a friend who understands what you are going through with your walk with God.

I want to remind you that we are called to take up our crosses and follow Christ. This is not an easy lifestyle. Living for God you will experience persecution. Currently I feel that I am separated from many of my past best friends because of being on a different spiritual level and I feel I might soon be taking some abuse from them because of that. People will not always understand your relationship with Christ. In the end, following God no matter the cost is always worth it.