Why I Don't Want To Go Into the Mission Field Right Now

I want to go in the mission field. I really do. I want to work at an orphanage. It's been something I've dreamed of since I was little. I want to take care of kids that don't have supportive families, are poor, or malnourished. I want to be their mom.

And my experiences in the mission field were so deep- so full of life and love and passion. I loved working in Peru with AMOR Projects and I've loved every short term trip I've been on- for medical, evangelism, teaching, even construction. They are adventures- they're fun. I found Jesus closer than I ever had there, serving others.

And if you asked me when I came back if I was ready to go back out- I would have shouted yes. I would have signed up for any and every possible trip just to explore, just to do more, just for fun. I wanted to go back out to Africa or India; I wanted to dive deeper in the Spanish language. I wanted to do it all and I felt ready.

But as I went to college for nursing, I realized how much learning I had left. How much I didn't know about life, and hard work, and service. How shallow my relationship with God really was. How much "adulting" I had left to do.

And as I struggled to fall back into the daily routines of life in the states, I realized God can use me here too. God can use me here in the states as a missionary. God wants to prepare me here in the states to be an overseas missionary someday. But God wants to use me now to draw closer to Him, to serve Him here.

As I've started working in the children's hospital, I've realized there are so many deep needs around me. So many places where Jesus' comfort needs to go. And I feel there are so many opportunities to love others. I'm grateful for the opportunity to have a safe place to grow in my relationship with God and help others by serving them and learning how to medically take care of kids at the same time.

Sometimes it's easy to sign up for mission trips and just go, without doing the preparation work. It's easy to give when it's self-gratifying, but it's harder to invest time and energy into developing a character that is sustainable for short term missions. And really just preparing yourself to be spiritually and emotionally mature so that you can serve- unselfishly- in a way that really will benefit other people and cultures.

If God is calling you to go into the mission field right now, I encourage you to step out in faith and go. He will use you. He will prepare you and He will equip you.

But if you are at home, wanting to go out, I encourage you to look around you and find out what God is asking you to do right now. I really believe He wants to use us where we are- and that so often it's the smallest things that make the biggest difference.