#porn #doesn't #kill #love

Porn doesn't kill love.

Wearing red shirts with the words "Porn kills love" doesn't help men overcome addiction.

It makes us girls look like innocent victims while men are portrayed as perverted.
It creates shame but it does nothing to address the temptation.
It promotes awareness but I think we are all aware of stealing, lying, and food addictions and yet they still exist.
So bashing porn and bashing those who struggle with porn-- it doesn't bring healing.

Only Christ can heal.

I am not in any way justifying pornography. I am in no way belittling it. I believe porn is dangerous- extremely dangerous- I believe it plays a huge role in ruining relationships, in domestic violence, rape, and sexual attraction. I personally have seen the pain it causes relationally, emotionally, and spiritually in one of my dating relationships.

But as someone that has had quite a few guy friends, come to me crying and telling me their story of how they are seeking God and battling temptation with pornography... I know that my guy friends need love and mercy and prayer. They don't need to be shamed. They need help in staying pure; they need help in avoiding temptation; but they don't need condemnation.

Pornography isn't justifiable. But neither is any sin. We all sin. Pornography is an addiction with the brain; it's a desire that was God-given and has been distorted. It's a result of the curse. At it's core it's selfishness and self-gratification. It's Satan messing with the mind, messing with the most intimate relationship on earth we were created to have: marriage; and it doesn't only destroy a guy's mind but it often hurts his partner's self worth.

Every time we sin- every time we fall away from God's plan of love: of other-centeredness- of choosing to care and put someone else first-- there is a consequence. And sin is addictive, certain sins more than others. Satan is the Father of counterfeits.

If men were created by God to be sexually attracted to women, to desire her, to fight for her, with passion and purpose- then Satan tries to make the desire an idol, Satan puts images everywhere men look; Satan provides gratification for impurity; Satan then convinces the heart of deep shame- that man is unworthy of the good thing.

But it's not just men who struggle with this type of sin. If guys struggle with sexual porn, then I think it's far too often that women struggle with emotional porn. What do I mean? I mean romance movies; I mean fiction books. I mean emotional role playing, false expectations- it may not be the image. But it's still creating an idol inside a girls' head. It's still creating false expectations that can never be met. It's still distorting God's plan of remaining emotionally pure. It's still causing issues in relationships as men fail to live up to their role as "superman".

Then with girls, there are also the countless issues of self-image that are linked to eating disorders, like anorexia and bulemia, the vanity and strife of being sexually attractive by pasting on makeup and wearing shorter clothes, the desire to impress men by sexual schemes or manipulation...

The point I'm trying to make is.. we're all in this struggle together. This is a war- not only over our minds and our hearts and our God given desires- but this war will determine our salvation. This war is a daily battle between the desire of self and the desires of Christ, between self-denial and self-gratification, between waiting and striving. This war isn't a joke- it's for reals- so we have to HELP EACH OTHER OUT.

We have to stop blaming and we have to start extending mercy and grace.
We have to start caring about the opposite sex and thinking what we can to do esteem them in Christ.
We have to start praying for each other; we have to start lifting each other up to Jesus.

1 John 2:12- 13 says I am writing to you, little children because your sins are forgiven for his name's sake. I am writing to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning. I am writing to you young men, because you have overcome the evil one.

Let's remember that our sins can be forgiven.
That we can be healed.
That we can have power over any sin, any problem, any addiction, any past sexual history.
Jesus died on the cross so that you could be set free- covered by his blood- He desires to make you pure. He offers you a second chance. Will you accept His mercy and love and take the next steps to help overcome the evil one?