Porn doesn't kill love.
Wearing red shirts with the words "Porn kills love" doesn't help men overcome addiction.
It makes us girls look like innocent victims while men are portrayed as perverted.
It creates shame but it does nothing to address the temptation.
It promotes awareness but I think we are all aware of stealing, lying, and food addictions and yet they still exist.
So bashing porn and bashing those who struggle with porn-- it doesn't bring healing.
Only Christ can heal.
I am not in any way justifying pornography. I am in no way belittling it. I believe porn is dangerous- extremely dangerous- I believe it plays a huge role in ruining relationships, in domestic violence, rape, and sexual attraction. I personally have seen the pain it causes relationally, emotionally, and spiritually in one of my dating relationships.
But as someone that has had quite a few guy friends, come to me crying and telling me their story of how they are seeking God and battling temptation with pornography... I know that my guy friends need love and mercy and prayer. They don't need to be shamed. They need help in staying pure; they need help in avoiding temptation; but they don't need condemnation.
Pornography isn't justifiable. But neither is any sin. We all sin. Pornography is an addiction with the brain; it's a desire that was God-given and has been distorted. It's a result of the curse. At it's core it's selfishness and self-gratification. It's Satan messing with the mind, messing with the most intimate relationship on earth we were created to have: marriage; and it doesn't only destroy a guy's mind but it often hurts his partner's self worth.
Every time we sin- every time we fall away from God's plan of love: of other-centeredness- of choosing to care and put someone else first-- there is a consequence. And sin is addictive, certain sins more than others. Satan is the Father of counterfeits.
If men were created by God to be sexually attracted to women, to desire her, to fight for her, with passion and purpose- then Satan tries to make the desire an idol, Satan puts images everywhere men look; Satan provides gratification for impurity; Satan then convinces the heart of deep shame- that man is unworthy of the good thing.
But it's not just men who struggle with this type of sin. If guys struggle with sexual porn, then I think it's far too often that women struggle with emotional porn. What do I mean? I mean romance movies; I mean fiction books. I mean emotional role playing, false expectations- it may not be the image. But it's still creating an idol inside a girls' head. It's still creating false expectations that can never be met. It's still distorting God's plan of remaining emotionally pure. It's still causing issues in relationships as men fail to live up to their role as "superman".
Then with girls, there are also the countless issues of self-image that are linked to eating disorders, like anorexia and bulemia, the vanity and strife of being sexually attractive by pasting on makeup and wearing shorter clothes, the desire to impress men by sexual schemes or manipulation...
The point I'm trying to make is.. we're all in this struggle together. This is a war- not only over our minds and our hearts and our God given desires- but this war will determine our salvation. This war is a daily battle between the desire of self and the desires of Christ, between self-denial and self-gratification, between waiting and striving. This war isn't a joke- it's for reals- so we have to HELP EACH OTHER OUT.
We have to stop blaming and we have to start extending mercy and grace.
We have to start caring about the opposite sex and thinking what we can to do esteem them in Christ.
We have to start praying for each other; we have to start lifting each other up to Jesus.
1 John 2:12- 13 says I am writing to you, little children because your sins are forgiven for his name's sake. I am writing to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning. I am writing to you young men, because you have overcome the evil one.
Let's remember that our sins can be forgiven.
That we can be healed.
That we can have power over any sin, any problem, any addiction, any past sexual history.
Jesus died on the cross so that you could be set free- covered by his blood- He desires to make you pure. He offers you a second chance. Will you accept His mercy and love and take the next steps to help overcome the evil one?
Friday, March 30, 2018
Just say thank you
Today on my plane flight I was sitting by a little boy whose mom was a middle seat- row away. I offered to switch her and she kept talking about how grateful she was. I was like it's no big deal. Then I saw a woman who couldn't grab her bag. I reached up and took it to her. She smiled and said thank you a few times. Really, it's no big deal. But it made me feel great, doing something nice for someone and them demonstrating gratitude.
As a nurse, I'm constantly looking for things to do to help my patients. My job is to notice them, my job is to care, to meet their needs: physical, mental, and spiritual. And I think that in many ways working as a nurse is helping me to become a better person. It's really humbling to have to provide total care to a patient- even a kid. You are also exposed to so much pain and family drama that it reminds you to thank God for your blessings. You learn how to serve someone- not just conveniently- but literally for hours.
But sometimes at the end of my nursing shifts I am just so frustrated and exhausted from the level of care I feel I have provided and the lack of gratitude or appreciation felt. I understand why it is so easy for nurses to get burnt out or to stop caring. It is so hard to give someone's family and kids 100% of your time and energy- just to be taken advantage of. It's hard when you are working your butt off meeting their needs in every which way and no one says thank you.
I help my kids get food when they are hungry and the cafeteria doesn't do their job.
I help my kids take a bath if their mom is busy or sleeping.
I change my babies diapers when mom fails too.
I tell my kids stories and think of jokes in efforts to make them feel better.
I give them meds; I talk to medical doctors to advocate for their extra needs; I run in circles for 13 hours..
And out of 9 weeks of working in the hospital, I've only had one mom tell me how thankful she was for her care. And it made a difference. It made my whole day better.
And you may be saying.. well that's your job- your a nurse. You're supposed to be nice; you're supposed to give medicines; you're supposed to serve your patients. So why should your patients and families say thank you?-- especially when they are going through a terrible time in their life.
The reason why we should all say thank you is we are all human. We all have struggles. We all have bad days. And most of us are trying to do our best with our work and our jobs. When we praise someone, when we compliment them, we help them to believe in themselves. We demonstrate love and care in the most basic way by acknowledging their worth.
Thank you.
I see you.
I appreciate what you have done.
I can say it to the Starbucks lady who had to rewrite my drink order. And the mailman who asked me how my day was going. And the shop-owner who helped me pick out the perfect dress.
"Thank you so much. Give compliment (even if generic). You are doing a great job."
Because when we edify each other verbally, when we give praise, we lift each other up. We remind each other that we can make a difference. We help each other to dwell on the positive. We make the other person want to be kind again.
There's enough people who offer criticism and choose to put us down. And let's face it, we all have areas that are worthy of criticism I'm sure. But what if we chose to encourage, to acknowledge, to say thank you. What if we chose to lift each other up verbally- to help each other believe in ourselves and believe that we are loved by God.
I don't know about you- but I want to learn to say thank you more. I want to thank people that are often taken for granted. I want to thank my best friends who have changed my life more than they know. I want to thank my family who is literally my rock. I want to thank God for life and love each day. I want to be a thankful person.
Because thankful people they are just way better =)
As a nurse, I'm constantly looking for things to do to help my patients. My job is to notice them, my job is to care, to meet their needs: physical, mental, and spiritual. And I think that in many ways working as a nurse is helping me to become a better person. It's really humbling to have to provide total care to a patient- even a kid. You are also exposed to so much pain and family drama that it reminds you to thank God for your blessings. You learn how to serve someone- not just conveniently- but literally for hours.
But sometimes at the end of my nursing shifts I am just so frustrated and exhausted from the level of care I feel I have provided and the lack of gratitude or appreciation felt. I understand why it is so easy for nurses to get burnt out or to stop caring. It is so hard to give someone's family and kids 100% of your time and energy- just to be taken advantage of. It's hard when you are working your butt off meeting their needs in every which way and no one says thank you.
I help my kids get food when they are hungry and the cafeteria doesn't do their job.
I help my kids take a bath if their mom is busy or sleeping.
I change my babies diapers when mom fails too.
I tell my kids stories and think of jokes in efforts to make them feel better.
I give them meds; I talk to medical doctors to advocate for their extra needs; I run in circles for 13 hours..
And out of 9 weeks of working in the hospital, I've only had one mom tell me how thankful she was for her care. And it made a difference. It made my whole day better.
And you may be saying.. well that's your job- your a nurse. You're supposed to be nice; you're supposed to give medicines; you're supposed to serve your patients. So why should your patients and families say thank you?-- especially when they are going through a terrible time in their life.
The reason why we should all say thank you is we are all human. We all have struggles. We all have bad days. And most of us are trying to do our best with our work and our jobs. When we praise someone, when we compliment them, we help them to believe in themselves. We demonstrate love and care in the most basic way by acknowledging their worth.
Thank you.
I see you.
I appreciate what you have done.
I can say it to the Starbucks lady who had to rewrite my drink order. And the mailman who asked me how my day was going. And the shop-owner who helped me pick out the perfect dress.
"Thank you so much. Give compliment (even if generic). You are doing a great job."
Because when we edify each other verbally, when we give praise, we lift each other up. We remind each other that we can make a difference. We help each other to dwell on the positive. We make the other person want to be kind again.
There's enough people who offer criticism and choose to put us down. And let's face it, we all have areas that are worthy of criticism I'm sure. But what if we chose to encourage, to acknowledge, to say thank you. What if we chose to lift each other up verbally- to help each other believe in ourselves and believe that we are loved by God.
I don't know about you- but I want to learn to say thank you more. I want to thank people that are often taken for granted. I want to thank my best friends who have changed my life more than they know. I want to thank my family who is literally my rock. I want to thank God for life and love each day. I want to be a thankful person.
Because thankful people they are just way better =)
Sunday, March 25, 2018
"When I'm Tired I..."
Since we are all totally different and unique children of God- we all internally process things differently and as creatures of sin we all struggle with different temptations. We've all walked different pathways, written different stories with our lives, and been wounded in different areas.
As we met Jesus- we've hopefully surrendered our lives to Him and asked Him for the power to overcome any sins and strongholds Satan has put in our life. And I hope that you like me have been able to see the work Jesus has done in your life as He changes us into new creations.
But.. the thing I've becoming recently aware of in my personal life is how I can put myself in situations where I am spiritually and emotionally weak- and more likely to sin. And these are not evil places where I'm going, but they are mind sets that I'm letting myself hold onto or physical conditions that are difficult to work with.
What I mean here is when I'm tired, overwhelmed, stressed out, sick, lonely, or hungry just to name a few- I've discovered that it's far easier for me to sin. And it may be by acting impulsively, putting other people down "jestingly", or just by becoming too emotionally unstable where I am incompetent of making clear decisions. When I get myself to this place, I am extremely vulnerable, extremely sensitive, and extremely prone to temptation and sin.
When you read Elijah's story in 1 Kings 18 and 19 you see a man who loves God, is able to pray to God and an amazing miracle happens converting thousands, and shortly after physically exhausts himself to the point of deep depression. He was so tired that his feelings began to overcome him and he prayed that he would die. And it's at this point in the story, that God sends an angel to give him food and water and he is basically told to rest a while.
As a nurse, one thing we learned in nursing school about pregnancies, was the high rate of post-partum depression. And you may be asking why would any mom who has always dreamed of having a kid fall into depression right after delivering their little baby? But the answer is simple, moms are tired, they are physically exhausted, and if they don't feel emotionally and physically supported it is difficult for them to take care of their child.
Although I believe there are exceptions, I believe that if we deny ourselves from physical strength we can't cope as well spiritually. I believe that emotional, spiritual, and physical health are all connected. Although Jesus proved to us the ultimate example of how he could fast in the desert for 40 days and not be overcome by sin- it is well known that the fact of not eating and being physically exhausted made the temptations more real and difficult for Jesus.
1 Corinthians 10:13 which says that our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and I think we quote this alot but often don't take time to think about what it means. Can my physical health truly limit my spiritual health? Can I abide in Christ, focus clearly, and demonstrate His love as well when I am emotionally exhausted or physically weak as when I am healthy? What do I need to do to maintain a physical level of health that is sustainable for spiritual and emotional health.
1 Peter 5:8 Be self-controlled and alert, for your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking those he may devour.
When I'm tired I... struggle alot more with temptation and sin.
When I'm tired I.. compare myself more to others and struggle with confidence.
When I'm tired I... look for people to help fulfill me instead of Christ.
Because I know that I'm prone to these temptations, I know that I need to prioritize health and sleep so that I can be a better follower of Christ. What are physical conditions or emotional conditions that make it difficult for you to function spiritually? What are ways that you can strengthen yourself in the other areas so that temptation will be easier to overcome.
As we met Jesus- we've hopefully surrendered our lives to Him and asked Him for the power to overcome any sins and strongholds Satan has put in our life. And I hope that you like me have been able to see the work Jesus has done in your life as He changes us into new creations.
But.. the thing I've becoming recently aware of in my personal life is how I can put myself in situations where I am spiritually and emotionally weak- and more likely to sin. And these are not evil places where I'm going, but they are mind sets that I'm letting myself hold onto or physical conditions that are difficult to work with.
What I mean here is when I'm tired, overwhelmed, stressed out, sick, lonely, or hungry just to name a few- I've discovered that it's far easier for me to sin. And it may be by acting impulsively, putting other people down "jestingly", or just by becoming too emotionally unstable where I am incompetent of making clear decisions. When I get myself to this place, I am extremely vulnerable, extremely sensitive, and extremely prone to temptation and sin.
When you read Elijah's story in 1 Kings 18 and 19 you see a man who loves God, is able to pray to God and an amazing miracle happens converting thousands, and shortly after physically exhausts himself to the point of deep depression. He was so tired that his feelings began to overcome him and he prayed that he would die. And it's at this point in the story, that God sends an angel to give him food and water and he is basically told to rest a while.
As a nurse, one thing we learned in nursing school about pregnancies, was the high rate of post-partum depression. And you may be asking why would any mom who has always dreamed of having a kid fall into depression right after delivering their little baby? But the answer is simple, moms are tired, they are physically exhausted, and if they don't feel emotionally and physically supported it is difficult for them to take care of their child.
Although I believe there are exceptions, I believe that if we deny ourselves from physical strength we can't cope as well spiritually. I believe that emotional, spiritual, and physical health are all connected. Although Jesus proved to us the ultimate example of how he could fast in the desert for 40 days and not be overcome by sin- it is well known that the fact of not eating and being physically exhausted made the temptations more real and difficult for Jesus.
1 Corinthians 10:13 which says that our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and I think we quote this alot but often don't take time to think about what it means. Can my physical health truly limit my spiritual health? Can I abide in Christ, focus clearly, and demonstrate His love as well when I am emotionally exhausted or physically weak as when I am healthy? What do I need to do to maintain a physical level of health that is sustainable for spiritual and emotional health.
1 Peter 5:8 Be self-controlled and alert, for your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking those he may devour.
When I'm tired I... struggle alot more with temptation and sin.
When I'm tired I.. compare myself more to others and struggle with confidence.
When I'm tired I... look for people to help fulfill me instead of Christ.
Because I know that I'm prone to these temptations, I know that I need to prioritize health and sleep so that I can be a better follower of Christ. What are physical conditions or emotional conditions that make it difficult for you to function spiritually? What are ways that you can strengthen yourself in the other areas so that temptation will be easier to overcome.
Thursday, March 22, 2018
Prayer
I'm twenty-three years old and I miss my mom.
And I miss my housemates. Because they left me for the weekend.
So I'm sitting in my room wondering who to talk too about life.
I haven't lived with my mom in so many years but I talk to my mom on the phone every day. I love talking to her; I love our relationship- everytime I get in the car, she's the first person I want to call. And since right now, she's on vacation in Aruba. I can't talk to her.
I love talking to my best friends and house mates. I love telling them about my day and listening to theirs because we care about each other. I love sharing my life with them.
And the question I have to ask myself is Do I love talking to God as much as I love talking to my mom and best friends? Do I talk to God as much as I talk to them? If I truly told God everything would I really need to talk about it so much with other people?
I was listening to a sermon by Doug Batchelor and he says that "we have the opportunity to draw near to God in prayer like a best friend and yet so many of us act like we don't care."
If I'm intentional about talking to my best friends and mom on a regular basis how much more intentional should I be about talking to God consistently?
And I do talk to God; I talk to God at work when I'm upset and I thank Him for cute babies and I pray for strength and I ask Him to save me a million times each day. I do talk to God. But sometimes I don't talk to Him like a best friend, or a King. Sometimes I don't give Him the time of day. Sometimes I get distracted when I'm talking to Him and I forget to listen.
But just how talking with my mom and best friends, gives me strength and re-energizes me, helping me to process life, I know that in talking to Christ I can be full of joy, receive comfort, wisdom, and draw closer to His heart.
The angels greatest joy is being in the presence of God. And this is what heaven is going to be like- it's going to be a place where we can constantly dwell in Christ's presence. And dwelling with Jesus is the definition of true joy.
But the thing is friends, we don't have to wait until heaven to know Jesus closer. We can pray to Him today because He loves us so much and will draw near to our hearts. He will even teach us how to pray better, teach us how we can get in a deeper relationship with Him.
I don't know about you, but I want to talk to God more than anyone else on this earth. Because I want to be like Him more than anyone else. I trust Him more than anyone else. So it makes sense then, that we would spend the time with Him more than anyone else and that we would love to talk to Him. And talking to Christ is prayer.
And I miss my housemates. Because they left me for the weekend.
So I'm sitting in my room wondering who to talk too about life.
I haven't lived with my mom in so many years but I talk to my mom on the phone every day. I love talking to her; I love our relationship- everytime I get in the car, she's the first person I want to call. And since right now, she's on vacation in Aruba. I can't talk to her.
I love talking to my best friends and house mates. I love telling them about my day and listening to theirs because we care about each other. I love sharing my life with them.
And the question I have to ask myself is Do I love talking to God as much as I love talking to my mom and best friends? Do I talk to God as much as I talk to them? If I truly told God everything would I really need to talk about it so much with other people?
I was listening to a sermon by Doug Batchelor and he says that "we have the opportunity to draw near to God in prayer like a best friend and yet so many of us act like we don't care."
If I'm intentional about talking to my best friends and mom on a regular basis how much more intentional should I be about talking to God consistently?
And I do talk to God; I talk to God at work when I'm upset and I thank Him for cute babies and I pray for strength and I ask Him to save me a million times each day. I do talk to God. But sometimes I don't talk to Him like a best friend, or a King. Sometimes I don't give Him the time of day. Sometimes I get distracted when I'm talking to Him and I forget to listen.
But just how talking with my mom and best friends, gives me strength and re-energizes me, helping me to process life, I know that in talking to Christ I can be full of joy, receive comfort, wisdom, and draw closer to His heart.
The angels greatest joy is being in the presence of God. And this is what heaven is going to be like- it's going to be a place where we can constantly dwell in Christ's presence. And dwelling with Jesus is the definition of true joy.
But the thing is friends, we don't have to wait until heaven to know Jesus closer. We can pray to Him today because He loves us so much and will draw near to our hearts. He will even teach us how to pray better, teach us how we can get in a deeper relationship with Him.
I don't know about you, but I want to talk to God more than anyone else on this earth. Because I want to be like Him more than anyone else. I trust Him more than anyone else. So it makes sense then, that we would spend the time with Him more than anyone else and that we would love to talk to Him. And talking to Christ is prayer.
On testimonies
About 3 years ago I worked on a project where I created videos of staff members at camp telling their testimonies. I was really excited about the videos and the idea because we wanted our campers to see that Jesus was real in the lives of the staff members who they were hanging out with all week.
What I didn't expect was the resistance staff members (mostly college students) would have in telling their testimonies. And for many of them, it wasn't because of their testimony being too personal. It wasn't things that were deep and they didn't want to talk about.
They told me "I don't have anything to say; I don't have a testimony."
And I think it's sad that so many people are afraid to share about Christ in their life or that they feel like they have nothing to share. Because if we've been walking with Jesus, even for a year- much more ten years or a lifetime- we should have so many stories of how Jesus changed our lives.
And I just have to question, are so many Christians who are raised in the church not encountering the presence of the Holy Spirit. Do they really not experience Jesus deeply in their personal lives?
Or is it that we've built testimonies up like movies? We expect to be entertained; we expect drama and action and romance and life and death? We think the only people who have a testimony are those who slept around and murdered someone or got raped before knowing God? And then God made it all better? Right. Well praise God for the people who experienced really hard situations in their life and God saved them. It is a testimony. But it's also a testimony to live a life of purity. It's also a testimony to not fall addicted to pornography, to not be tempted by the wrong crowd of people, to deny yourself of friendship and relationships and movies because you want to follow Christ? And there are struggles in overcoming these things that would testify to the Lord's power and grace. It doesn't have to be the big things all the time. Sometimes the little things make the biggest difference.
I think it's important for us to think about our testimony. To know what God has brought us through in the past and the ways He's worked in our lives. And if we can't see God at work, then we have to question "Do I know Him?" Because the God I know is constantly changing us closer and closer to His character; it's not a boring thing to walk with God. For me, it's been the best and craziest adventure of my life.
But more than having a story to tell; we have to question if we are living testimonies.
I can tell you stories and stories of how Jesus has worked in my life.
But if you look at me and don't see Jesus' love then all the words are in vain.
So I think it's important to pray not only for God to work in us- to give us testimonies- and reasons to show His power. But to change us into people that can be living testimonies.
I don't know if you identify with the fear, of thinking, maybe I'm not good enough to be a living testimony. Maybe my life doesn't look like the SDA poster girl/guy right now? Maybe you've been through things that took away my innocence?
But the thing is God loves us for exactly who we are and yes He desires to change us; but He desires to use us even while we are broken and in our weaknesses. We don't have to compare ourselves to the Christian across the church isle. If we would be honest in glorifying Christ but also acknowledging our struggles, I think so many other individuals could be blessed. Because when we admit our brokenesses to each other and pray for each other, there is power. So often we feel the expectation to pretend that we're doing great, and Christians go to church and struggle alone. Everybody struggles and Christ wants us to overcome, but we have to help each other as a community. We have to have fellowship, and accountability, and support, and prayer. So I think an honest individual who is willing to talk about their struggles and how they are overcoming through Christ and just be honest about their walk towards God, is often so much more powerful than a perfectly polished "everything's great right now" story.
Titus 3 verses 3-5 says For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to His own mercy.
And Psalm 71 verses 15 to 18 says "My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day for their number is past my knowledge. With the mighty deeds of the Lord God... I will remind them of your righteousness God alone.
May our prayers be that God would sanctify our lives and lead us toward Holiness. That He would make us people that do know HIs love and that can love others the way He loves us. And that we would be living testimonies- that His light would shine within us- on our best and on our broken days.
What I didn't expect was the resistance staff members (mostly college students) would have in telling their testimonies. And for many of them, it wasn't because of their testimony being too personal. It wasn't things that were deep and they didn't want to talk about.
They told me "I don't have anything to say; I don't have a testimony."
And I think it's sad that so many people are afraid to share about Christ in their life or that they feel like they have nothing to share. Because if we've been walking with Jesus, even for a year- much more ten years or a lifetime- we should have so many stories of how Jesus changed our lives.
And I just have to question, are so many Christians who are raised in the church not encountering the presence of the Holy Spirit. Do they really not experience Jesus deeply in their personal lives?
Or is it that we've built testimonies up like movies? We expect to be entertained; we expect drama and action and romance and life and death? We think the only people who have a testimony are those who slept around and murdered someone or got raped before knowing God? And then God made it all better? Right. Well praise God for the people who experienced really hard situations in their life and God saved them. It is a testimony. But it's also a testimony to live a life of purity. It's also a testimony to not fall addicted to pornography, to not be tempted by the wrong crowd of people, to deny yourself of friendship and relationships and movies because you want to follow Christ? And there are struggles in overcoming these things that would testify to the Lord's power and grace. It doesn't have to be the big things all the time. Sometimes the little things make the biggest difference.
I think it's important for us to think about our testimony. To know what God has brought us through in the past and the ways He's worked in our lives. And if we can't see God at work, then we have to question "Do I know Him?" Because the God I know is constantly changing us closer and closer to His character; it's not a boring thing to walk with God. For me, it's been the best and craziest adventure of my life.
But more than having a story to tell; we have to question if we are living testimonies.
I can tell you stories and stories of how Jesus has worked in my life.
But if you look at me and don't see Jesus' love then all the words are in vain.
So I think it's important to pray not only for God to work in us- to give us testimonies- and reasons to show His power. But to change us into people that can be living testimonies.
I don't know if you identify with the fear, of thinking, maybe I'm not good enough to be a living testimony. Maybe my life doesn't look like the SDA poster girl/guy right now? Maybe you've been through things that took away my innocence?
But the thing is God loves us for exactly who we are and yes He desires to change us; but He desires to use us even while we are broken and in our weaknesses. We don't have to compare ourselves to the Christian across the church isle. If we would be honest in glorifying Christ but also acknowledging our struggles, I think so many other individuals could be blessed. Because when we admit our brokenesses to each other and pray for each other, there is power. So often we feel the expectation to pretend that we're doing great, and Christians go to church and struggle alone. Everybody struggles and Christ wants us to overcome, but we have to help each other as a community. We have to have fellowship, and accountability, and support, and prayer. So I think an honest individual who is willing to talk about their struggles and how they are overcoming through Christ and just be honest about their walk towards God, is often so much more powerful than a perfectly polished "everything's great right now" story.
Titus 3 verses 3-5 says For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to His own mercy.
And Psalm 71 verses 15 to 18 says "My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day for their number is past my knowledge. With the mighty deeds of the Lord God... I will remind them of your righteousness God alone.
May our prayers be that God would sanctify our lives and lead us toward Holiness. That He would make us people that do know HIs love and that can love others the way He loves us. And that we would be living testimonies- that His light would shine within us- on our best and on our broken days.
A Mighty Fortress
"A mighty Fortress is our God,
A Bulwark never failing;
Our Helper He amid the flood
Of mortal ills prevailing:
For still our ancient foe
Doth seek to work us woe;
His craft and power are great,
And, armed with cruel hate,
On earth is not his equal.
Did we in our own strength confide,
Our striving would be losing;
Were not the right Man on our side,
The Man of God’s own choosing:
Dost ask who that may be?
Christ Jesus, it is He;
Lord Sabaoth His Name,
From age to age the same,
And He must win the battle.
Our striving would be losing;
Were not the right Man on our side,
The Man of God’s own choosing:
Dost ask who that may be?
Christ Jesus, it is He;
Lord Sabaoth His Name,
From age to age the same,
And He must win the battle.
And though this world, with devils filled,
Should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear, for God hath willed
His truth to triumph through us:
The Prince of Darkness grim,
We tremble not for him;
His rage we can endure,
For lo! his doom is sure,
One little word shall fell him."
Should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear, for God hath willed
His truth to triumph through us:
The Prince of Darkness grim,
We tremble not for him;
His rage we can endure,
For lo! his doom is sure,
One little word shall fell him."
Friends, what a mighty fortress we have. I hope that you know Jesus. Because in my life, Jesus changed everything. Jesus saves me each and every day from hopelessness, from anxiety, from failure, depression, and selfishness. Jesus gives me peace despite whatever trials may occur during my day; Jesus is my rock and fortress.
You see friends, I thought I knew Jesus my whole life. And in many ways I did; I knew all about Him. I knew He loved me; I believed His promises. I went to church; I was a good Christian. But for so long, I didn't know that Jesus was my mighty fortress. I didn't know how much he cared about my life. I didn't know how much I could trust him for every need. So even though I knew Jesus, I was still basing my self worth on performance. Even though I knew Jesus, I still experienced anger at little things. Even though I knew Jesus, I was still afraid- afraid of failing, afraid of not being good enough. I was worried; I would compare myself to others and I didn't know the comfort that comes from truly knowing that He loves us.
And although I struggle at times- I think it will always be a constant struggle- today my life is so different. I have so much peace because of Jesus while doing things I am totally uncomfortable doing. I can literally be doing the thing I hate and laughing because I know Jesus and that He's working.
And while I'm a nurse at the hospital, I see so many families struggling. So many precious children with parents who do drugs and who struggle to provide food. I see beautiful kids who have terrible diagnoses like cancer that are permanent. And I just want these kids and these families to know, that they have a Mighty Fortress to look too and to go too. That nothing in this life is going to bring you everlasting joy and peace, apart from knowing Christ. And I just want my patients to know that they are not alone. That whatever their fears are, whatever their pain is, Jesus sees; Jesus cares; and Jesus wants to save.
Jesus continuously saves my life and I feel like I have so much to testify about His love and faithfulness. And I just pray that if you don't know Jesus well, or if your struggling feeling alone, look to Jesus. Because He has the power and the will to deliver you and He wants to love you.
Sunday, March 18, 2018
Self control
I truly admire people who have both the strength to speak up when it is necessary but the wisdom to hold their tongue instead of making fun of people or being angry. It's something so difficult, I believe, to not be a push over but to not be cocky. That balance in between- must require such self-denial- and mental strength- and I can only imagine talking to Jesus someday, and just experiencing the power of His words and yet the gentleness of His Spirit. Self-control, and discipline, are two of those words that I believe are crucial to walking with Jesus, and yet so hard to develop sometimes because they require such self-denial.
It's un-natural to deny yourself of pleasure if you don't know Christ and His calling. And even when you do know Jesus, there are times when feelings and temptations can feel so strong, and it's very difficult to overcome.
Ellen White writes about education and the importance of educating our minds and bodies and spirits. It isn't just an education of our youth but it's a continuous education towards Christ- upward. We master one thing and Christ says great job, but I'm going to continue to call you and lead you higher. I love this from her:
"Let no one suppose that conversion is the beginning and end of the Christian life. There is a science of Christianity that must be mastered. There is to be growth in grace, that is constant progress and improvement. The mind is to be disciplined, trained, educated; for the child of God is to do service for God in ways that are not natural, or in harmony with inborn inclination. Those who become the followers of Christ find that new motives of action are supplied, new thoughts arise, and new actions must result. But they can make advancement only through conflict; for there is an enemy that ever contends against them, presenting temptations to cause the soul to doubt and sin. Besides this ever vigilant foe, there are hereditary and cultivated tendencies to evil that must be overcome. The training and education of a lifetime must often be discarded that the Christian may become a learner in the school of Christ and in him who would be a partaker of the divine nature, appetite and passion, must be brought under the control of the Holy Spirit. There is to be no end to this warfare this side of eternity, but while there are constant battles to fight, there are also precious victories to gain, and the triumph over self and sin is of more value than the mind can estimate. "
I love testimonies, I love hearing people's conversions to Christ and the up and down emotions, it makes for a great story. But so much more powerful than that, is an individual who truly loves God and demonstrates consistency in the way he or she loves others and demonstrates the characteristics of Christ. It's easy to tell a story, it's easy to get emotional and say all these things God has done (and God can be glorified). But so much more, than not with words, actions testify of the real active love of Jesus. And to me, the effects are amplified if you can see a relationship in which two individuals or a family is serving God because loving someone else requires so much self control, so much discipline.
I struggle with self-control and discipline at times; I feel like my natural personality just hates rules and there is definitely temptation towards rebellion. And there are times when I pray to God and beg Him for the "quick fix" which I don't believe exists. I think it's a journey upward; it's a constant struggle. And I think for me, it's often practicing self-control and discipline in the little things that makes the biggest difference.
Self control with what I eat, self control with not participating in social media, self control in not impulsively flirting with guys, self control emotionally, self control in doing a job I don't enjoy. These are small things that I can practice self control in. And sometimes the world makes it seem like these things don't matter, go out and have fun, and just do as you please. But if we can't control what we put in our mouths, if we can't control our spare time wisely, then how can we have self-control to stand up to temptation when Satan really tempts us with one of our weaknesses? How can we be prepared for the End days if we are not practicing self control and discipline in our daily lives?
It's so easy to make excuses, to blame the past, or our current situations and use crutches to help us get through life. I told my friend the other day that the caffeine in green tea made me act more like Jesus because it helps give me energy and feel better when I'm exhausted. But caffeine is a stimulant; it's not natural and it's probably not healthy in the long run; and it goes back to the principle of practicing denial in little things. I'm gonna mess up; I'm probably going to fail and my acts of self-denial will probably look like filthy rags in comparison to Jesus' model of discipline. But I have to keep trying; you have to keep getting back up and fighting whatever the battle is for you personally.
And His grace will help you; His grace will cover your weaknesses and He will give us strength.
2 Timothy 1:7 says "For the spirit of God does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self discipline." And Proverbs 16:32 says "Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self control than one who takes a city." I don't know about you, but my prayer is to be more like Jesus, to learn more what it means to be holy and if we want to follow in Jesus' footsteps we have to learn the art of self control and self-denial.
It's un-natural to deny yourself of pleasure if you don't know Christ and His calling. And even when you do know Jesus, there are times when feelings and temptations can feel so strong, and it's very difficult to overcome.
Ellen White writes about education and the importance of educating our minds and bodies and spirits. It isn't just an education of our youth but it's a continuous education towards Christ- upward. We master one thing and Christ says great job, but I'm going to continue to call you and lead you higher. I love this from her:
"Let no one suppose that conversion is the beginning and end of the Christian life. There is a science of Christianity that must be mastered. There is to be growth in grace, that is constant progress and improvement. The mind is to be disciplined, trained, educated; for the child of God is to do service for God in ways that are not natural, or in harmony with inborn inclination. Those who become the followers of Christ find that new motives of action are supplied, new thoughts arise, and new actions must result. But they can make advancement only through conflict; for there is an enemy that ever contends against them, presenting temptations to cause the soul to doubt and sin. Besides this ever vigilant foe, there are hereditary and cultivated tendencies to evil that must be overcome. The training and education of a lifetime must often be discarded that the Christian may become a learner in the school of Christ and in him who would be a partaker of the divine nature, appetite and passion, must be brought under the control of the Holy Spirit. There is to be no end to this warfare this side of eternity, but while there are constant battles to fight, there are also precious victories to gain, and the triumph over self and sin is of more value than the mind can estimate. "
I love testimonies, I love hearing people's conversions to Christ and the up and down emotions, it makes for a great story. But so much more powerful than that, is an individual who truly loves God and demonstrates consistency in the way he or she loves others and demonstrates the characteristics of Christ. It's easy to tell a story, it's easy to get emotional and say all these things God has done (and God can be glorified). But so much more, than not with words, actions testify of the real active love of Jesus. And to me, the effects are amplified if you can see a relationship in which two individuals or a family is serving God because loving someone else requires so much self control, so much discipline.
I struggle with self-control and discipline at times; I feel like my natural personality just hates rules and there is definitely temptation towards rebellion. And there are times when I pray to God and beg Him for the "quick fix" which I don't believe exists. I think it's a journey upward; it's a constant struggle. And I think for me, it's often practicing self-control and discipline in the little things that makes the biggest difference.
Self control with what I eat, self control with not participating in social media, self control in not impulsively flirting with guys, self control emotionally, self control in doing a job I don't enjoy. These are small things that I can practice self control in. And sometimes the world makes it seem like these things don't matter, go out and have fun, and just do as you please. But if we can't control what we put in our mouths, if we can't control our spare time wisely, then how can we have self-control to stand up to temptation when Satan really tempts us with one of our weaknesses? How can we be prepared for the End days if we are not practicing self control and discipline in our daily lives?
It's so easy to make excuses, to blame the past, or our current situations and use crutches to help us get through life. I told my friend the other day that the caffeine in green tea made me act more like Jesus because it helps give me energy and feel better when I'm exhausted. But caffeine is a stimulant; it's not natural and it's probably not healthy in the long run; and it goes back to the principle of practicing denial in little things. I'm gonna mess up; I'm probably going to fail and my acts of self-denial will probably look like filthy rags in comparison to Jesus' model of discipline. But I have to keep trying; you have to keep getting back up and fighting whatever the battle is for you personally.
And His grace will help you; His grace will cover your weaknesses and He will give us strength.
2 Timothy 1:7 says "For the spirit of God does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self discipline." And Proverbs 16:32 says "Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self control than one who takes a city." I don't know about you, but my prayer is to be more like Jesus, to learn more what it means to be holy and if we want to follow in Jesus' footsteps we have to learn the art of self control and self-denial.
Monday, March 12, 2018
Beauty of brokenness
"He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash hole. He seats them with princes, with the princes of their people. He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord." Psalm 113:8-9
What is the beauty found in brokenness? Why is it that the poorest get to be lifted up with princes? That the first will be last and the last will be first (Matthew 19:30). That the poor in spirit will be blessed; those mournful comforted; and that it will be the meek that inherit the earth. (Matthew 5: 3-5). Why must we rejoice in our sufferings as they produce endurance and character that can lead us closer to Jesus (Romans 5:3)?
I don't know friends why this world is as it is. I don't why I get to be the girl that talks to children who are about to die and woman after they have been raped. I don't know why cancer exists before a child's twelfth birthday and why guns were ever pointed at an innocent woman's face. I don't understand the curses of sickness, and crime, and despair. I don't like pain and the brokenness around me is sometimes hard to face.
But friends, I know Jesus, and He can be praised through the brokenness and pain we see and encounter, because He is a God of healing and hope. And the beauty of brokenness, is that in the darkness of pain, Christ's light is more evident.
The poor have the opportunity to be sustained day by day by knowing Christ and when they are fed by God's own hand, they praise Him. The barren woman, has the opportunity to take faith that though she waits and waits, God will provide in His own time. She will praise Him.
And we have the opportunity in our brokenness- to draw nearer to the heart of Christ. He desires to help us, to lift us, to strengthen us and He promises never to leave us. The beauty of our brokenness is that in our need, we can pray to God, and when He provides, we will have reason to praise Him.
My life right now is extremely funny, because God has asked me to do things, I never imagined doing and never thought I could do. And the truth is, I can't do it- I'm too broken. But Christ can. In the ways I am weak, He is stronger and where I lack, He provides. And I can praise Him for that. I can praise Him today in the brokenness and I can praise Him in the areas I still need, because I have faith that He will continue to sustain and provide as He always has for me.
Psalm 34:18 says "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and he saves those who are crushed in spirit." "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." (Psalm 147:3). So I encourage you friend, to know Him and to trust Him with your brokenness. He is faithful to provide and worthy to be praised!
What is the beauty found in brokenness? Why is it that the poorest get to be lifted up with princes? That the first will be last and the last will be first (Matthew 19:30). That the poor in spirit will be blessed; those mournful comforted; and that it will be the meek that inherit the earth. (Matthew 5: 3-5). Why must we rejoice in our sufferings as they produce endurance and character that can lead us closer to Jesus (Romans 5:3)?
I don't know friends why this world is as it is. I don't why I get to be the girl that talks to children who are about to die and woman after they have been raped. I don't know why cancer exists before a child's twelfth birthday and why guns were ever pointed at an innocent woman's face. I don't understand the curses of sickness, and crime, and despair. I don't like pain and the brokenness around me is sometimes hard to face.
But friends, I know Jesus, and He can be praised through the brokenness and pain we see and encounter, because He is a God of healing and hope. And the beauty of brokenness, is that in the darkness of pain, Christ's light is more evident.
The poor have the opportunity to be sustained day by day by knowing Christ and when they are fed by God's own hand, they praise Him. The barren woman, has the opportunity to take faith that though she waits and waits, God will provide in His own time. She will praise Him.
And we have the opportunity in our brokenness- to draw nearer to the heart of Christ. He desires to help us, to lift us, to strengthen us and He promises never to leave us. The beauty of our brokenness is that in our need, we can pray to God, and when He provides, we will have reason to praise Him.
My life right now is extremely funny, because God has asked me to do things, I never imagined doing and never thought I could do. And the truth is, I can't do it- I'm too broken. But Christ can. In the ways I am weak, He is stronger and where I lack, He provides. And I can praise Him for that. I can praise Him today in the brokenness and I can praise Him in the areas I still need, because I have faith that He will continue to sustain and provide as He always has for me.
Psalm 34:18 says "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and he saves those who are crushed in spirit." "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." (Psalm 147:3). So I encourage you friend, to know Him and to trust Him with your brokenness. He is faithful to provide and worthy to be praised!
Wednesday, March 7, 2018
nursing life
Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom from psalms, hymns, and songs from the spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts and whatever you do whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Colossians 3:16-17
I'm finally feeling inspired again- finally excited about some aspects of life. I can finally breathe again, think clearly, begin to see the bigger picture.
The last 5 weeks have been such a struggle for me- with starting nursing- and doing nights. I feel like starting a totally new job on nights, while trying to work my part time job and taking classes- really just threw me out to sea.
Working during the night is so hard physically and emotionally. I finished 4 weeks of nights but it felt like a quest of survival. I think there are sometimes you just have to hang on tight and pray it's over soon. I have no desire to ever work nightshift again or try to stay up all night and there are so many reasons why I believe it's unhealthy. Yet I know that in a couple months I will have to do night shift again, and I plan on preparing for it and going about it much differently.
Before starting nursing, I had alot of expectations of what it would be like to work full time and be a pediatric nurse. And I'd be lying if I didn't say that many of those expectations were totally crushed in my first five weeks. It's dissapointing when you have really high expectations and you realize that many of the things you want will not be happening any time soon; but it's also reality and it's ok.
I really believe that God wants to use us where we are at to be a blessing and that He calls us to experience joy in every situation and opportunity. I know that the pediatric hospital is an amazing place to learn how to take care of little babies and children and that's what I am so excited to do! It's discouraging when you realize that as a new nurse, you know so very little about everything, and require so much help. Yet I am so excited about what I'm learning because I know it will teach me how to care for kids better which I love to do!
The first four weeks of nursing really destroyed my morale in so many ways and I had a terrible attitude about life and nursing. I had a really difficult clinical instructor who was extremely critical and perfectionistic and never offered positive feedback. But upon transitioning to days, both my clinical instructors have been extremely positive and have given me tons of praise and positive feedback which has been really helpful.
During night shifts, it was extremely hard to practice eating healthy food, just because eating patterns in general were destroyed. Not to mention, it was so hard to workout because literally every day I felt so exhausted. I was having to drink caffeine just to survive shifts which definitely affects mood and energy levels. There was also just some other personal issues that I had to deal with while on night shifts that made it so much harder.
I'm super thankful to be on days right now. I'm thankful for my new job and for my clinical preceptors that are really kind. I'm thankful for supportive friends and I'm so glad I got time off to rest and recover. My goal for the next couple of weeks is to focus on Christ and to have a really positive nursing attitude. I want to try and focus on the small things like eating right, exercise, sleep, personal devotional time, because those things make a really big difference.
I'm finally feeling inspired again- finally excited about some aspects of life. I can finally breathe again, think clearly, begin to see the bigger picture.
The last 5 weeks have been such a struggle for me- with starting nursing- and doing nights. I feel like starting a totally new job on nights, while trying to work my part time job and taking classes- really just threw me out to sea.
Working during the night is so hard physically and emotionally. I finished 4 weeks of nights but it felt like a quest of survival. I think there are sometimes you just have to hang on tight and pray it's over soon. I have no desire to ever work nightshift again or try to stay up all night and there are so many reasons why I believe it's unhealthy. Yet I know that in a couple months I will have to do night shift again, and I plan on preparing for it and going about it much differently.
Before starting nursing, I had alot of expectations of what it would be like to work full time and be a pediatric nurse. And I'd be lying if I didn't say that many of those expectations were totally crushed in my first five weeks. It's dissapointing when you have really high expectations and you realize that many of the things you want will not be happening any time soon; but it's also reality and it's ok.
I really believe that God wants to use us where we are at to be a blessing and that He calls us to experience joy in every situation and opportunity. I know that the pediatric hospital is an amazing place to learn how to take care of little babies and children and that's what I am so excited to do! It's discouraging when you realize that as a new nurse, you know so very little about everything, and require so much help. Yet I am so excited about what I'm learning because I know it will teach me how to care for kids better which I love to do!
The first four weeks of nursing really destroyed my morale in so many ways and I had a terrible attitude about life and nursing. I had a really difficult clinical instructor who was extremely critical and perfectionistic and never offered positive feedback. But upon transitioning to days, both my clinical instructors have been extremely positive and have given me tons of praise and positive feedback which has been really helpful.
During night shifts, it was extremely hard to practice eating healthy food, just because eating patterns in general were destroyed. Not to mention, it was so hard to workout because literally every day I felt so exhausted. I was having to drink caffeine just to survive shifts which definitely affects mood and energy levels. There was also just some other personal issues that I had to deal with while on night shifts that made it so much harder.
I'm super thankful to be on days right now. I'm thankful for my new job and for my clinical preceptors that are really kind. I'm thankful for supportive friends and I'm so glad I got time off to rest and recover. My goal for the next couple of weeks is to focus on Christ and to have a really positive nursing attitude. I want to try and focus on the small things like eating right, exercise, sleep, personal devotional time, because those things make a really big difference.
Sunday, March 4, 2018
"Stateside Missionary"
I've recently been convicted of the ways I personally have let the little things go south, you might say, pertaining to Christ and lifestyle changes. It's far too easy to fall temptation to consumerism, complacency, and just losing sight of the Christian vision. Lately I've been stressed out with being a new nurse and the amount of things I have to learn and overcome and I find when I'm tired it's easy to start compromising small things.
Reading the Adventist Frontier magazine, really inspired me, to remember God's calling for my life. And I really do believe that God wants me to go be a missionary in an orphanage overseas for some amount of time. I want to be radical in my walk with God and be willing to give up everything at His request and just leave it all behind.
And yet looking at my some of my lifestyle habits, I have to ask myself if I'm living in a way that I'm preparing to go. Am I preparing to be a missionary or am I developing habits that will be difficult to break? And I know personally there are some changes I need to make and I want to make them.
An article in the magazine called "Invisible Missionaries" says that an invisible missionary is the church member who gives faithfully $10 a month to support local missions; it's the church member who prays without fail every morning at 5am for the Holy Spirit to lead and protect the missionary family in Algeria, it's the missionary who engages in foreign missions by faith and not by sight. What the article is talking about is how to be a missionary when you can't live across the world.
It's hard to be a stateside missionary. And in some ways, I admit, I don't know how to be a stateside missionary. But I want to learn and I want to do better.
I want to learn how to depend on God for my every need instead of my own abilities or asking friends or family.
I want to learn to trust God to provide miracles and small blessings on a daily basic by prayer.
I want my life to look a way that represents Jesus so that people will say "this girl is different".
I want to be faithful financially and a generous giver that supports the ministry of Christ.
These things are so hard. And I know that healthy habits take time to develop and practice. But it is my prayer to start preparing to be a missionary now. And also to be an invisible missionary or a stateside missionary where I am.
Reading the Adventist Frontier magazine, really inspired me, to remember God's calling for my life. And I really do believe that God wants me to go be a missionary in an orphanage overseas for some amount of time. I want to be radical in my walk with God and be willing to give up everything at His request and just leave it all behind.
And yet looking at my some of my lifestyle habits, I have to ask myself if I'm living in a way that I'm preparing to go. Am I preparing to be a missionary or am I developing habits that will be difficult to break? And I know personally there are some changes I need to make and I want to make them.
An article in the magazine called "Invisible Missionaries" says that an invisible missionary is the church member who gives faithfully $10 a month to support local missions; it's the church member who prays without fail every morning at 5am for the Holy Spirit to lead and protect the missionary family in Algeria, it's the missionary who engages in foreign missions by faith and not by sight. What the article is talking about is how to be a missionary when you can't live across the world.
It's hard to be a stateside missionary. And in some ways, I admit, I don't know how to be a stateside missionary. But I want to learn and I want to do better.
I want to learn how to depend on God for my every need instead of my own abilities or asking friends or family.
I want to learn to trust God to provide miracles and small blessings on a daily basic by prayer.
I want my life to look a way that represents Jesus so that people will say "this girl is different".
I want to be faithful financially and a generous giver that supports the ministry of Christ.
These things are so hard. And I know that healthy habits take time to develop and practice. But it is my prayer to start preparing to be a missionary now. And also to be an invisible missionary or a stateside missionary where I am.
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