Sanctify me

1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it.

"When we pray to be sanctified, are we prepared to face the standard of these verses? We take the term sanctification much too lightly. Are we prepared for what sanctification will cost? It will cost an intense narrowing of all our interests on earth, and an intense broadening of all our interests in God." (Oswold Chambers: My Utmost for His Highest)

Never before have I been so uncontent so displeased with my spirituality except for this year at college. I don't know where I'm going. And frankly, I don't feel like I am sanctified but in the painful process of sanctification and I keep pulling back. As I walk by the fire that burns but cleans making me a new and pure creation of God, I fear that I keep running away before sanctification is over. This is not to say that sanctification is not a continual process. I am simply saying that never before have I felt so unhappy and so unpleased with my life with God. Instead of feeling like I am doing great, following His footsteps, and striving to be the "nice" Christian girl. I feel God saying "Come on Brooke what are you waiting for. I have proven myself worthy of your love and trust for years in your life yet you refuse to boldly surrender and be radically sanctified to me and me only.
I want to answer your prayers, but you are putting boundaries and obstacles in the way."
I feel the call for so much more, than I can ever imagine. Honestly, I have felt this way over and over again this past year like never before. The spiritual life has begun to baffle me as I no longer know what God's plan for me is. To explain, I don't understand what God wants me to do for a career: Physical therapy, nursing, or missionary. I have no idea where I will be spending the next summer working whether at a camp or as LE. I have no idea how I should spend the next year: Southern student, SWAU student, or missionary. So here I am, impatient, wondering... and at the same time pleading with fear God sanctify me like never before.
I have never contemplated my spiritual life so much nor felt a call so weary and burdensome. I don't know if God is preparing me for something big or what. I don't know what He's doing and that scares me.
I have dedicated myself to the Lord many times this year and I have begun to abandon some of my old self and ways. I have begun to leave behind my old friends and insecurities. Southern has proven challenging but beneficial for my life in many ways.

"Sanctification means intense concentration on God's point of view."
-It will cost us everything that is not God in us.

Throughout the year I began praying about a few relationships I was clinging too and wondering if I should let go of. I feel like God is saying the time is right to let go because emotionally I need to get past these false securities. I know God is trying to rid me of my inward selfishness as well as distractions from Him.
God has given me many examples this year of what radical living, sanctification, and true surrender looks like and truly means through friends.
I am ashamed to say that I feel like I have not gone radical but have just kept living my life trying to put God in it. God has been taking things away from me that are distractions and teaching me to rely on Him before, but I feel like the call is now.
I feel the need to be radical and I would like to follow you God and act radically but only surrendered to you fully and at my utmost YOURS. Where you lead me I will follow, here I am, change me. Sanctify me. From the bottom of my heart this be my plea, rid me of myself, rid me of "me".