Before you judge

Have you ever wondered why it was the prostitute that became the hero and got to help the Israelites capture Jericho?

Why her of all people? Why not the faithful few? Why did the people need a spy, a liar, not to mention a woman who sold her body for sex- to save this story.

But God used her, the prostitute. God used David, the murderer. God used the thief, the widow, the quick tempered, the doubter. And God didn't define them by their weaknesses, their sins, their lives' struggles. He saw beyond external appearance. He saw what the world couldn't see.

He saw the light in them. He saw their potential and He chose to use their faith to bring glory to His name.

It's so easy for me to judge the people around me. To say "this girls legit, this girls weak, this guy is a coward." To make assumptions and decisions based on personal appearance and impressions. And yet so often people surprise you, if you get to know them, you will find that they are not how you labeled them.

I can personally attest to being falsely judged so many times. From elementary school being thought of as the goodie good who could do no wrong, to being called defiant and rebellious, and even a hypocrite who doesn't practice what she believes. And it hurts to be judged by others- especially when people say things about you don't believe are true.

If you only knew my story...
If you could only see..
If only you asked me that question before making that assumption or believing that lie..

Maybe you would think differently. Maybe you would know who I am--

but maybe not.

For the judged, the misunderstood, the misinterpreted, Jesus sees you. For the one who was falsely accused and slandered, Jesus knows. For the one who feels like they are all alone with people around them who don't value them, Jesus cares. And for the one who's judging others, Jesus commands "In the same way you judge others, you will be judged."

He was the King of being misunderstood, being judged falsely, persecuted unjustly, unaccepted, un-cared for the way he deserved. But despite the misunderstandings and lies others told of Him, He extended abounding grace and acceptance on each person that he met.

So before you judge your neighbors today, re-encounter Jesus. Remember the Lord who sacrificed His Kingdom to come as a baby and be born in a dirty sinful world. Remember the kindness of the man who knelt in the sand with the woman who had slept with far too many men. Remember the Christ whose hands were pierced with nails- and yet spent his last breath- praying for His enemies' forgiveness.

And may we see others a little differently. May we get to know their hearts and want to hear their stories. May we pray for them and love them- even when they are different, even when they hurt us. And maybe just maybe before we judge, we will look at ourselves and remember how we have fallen too. And we will remember how the Savior picked us up and help our friends stand to meet Him. Maybe just maybe before we judge, we could think of Jesus and instead of judging, choose to be loving.

Why Do Nice People Always Get Hurt?

So yesterday I was talking to one of the nicest ladies ever. She had the most kind, compassionate heart. And yet after she listened to me talk for a while I asked her to tell me about her life, and she shared with me a few very painful stories. And I was shattered with surprise because I expected that this kind woman would have it all- a great family, dream job, amazing life. And yet instead I found someone who had experienced deep pain.

I see this trend again and again with nice people getting hurt. And it makes me wonder.

Why is it that nice people seem to get hurt more than the rest? Is it something about their personality that makes them weak or more at risk?

Or do people that get hurt grow in the capacity to love deeper and be kinder? So that truly some of the nicest people you meet are people that have seen some of the darkest days and grown from their struggles?

I've heard some people say that nice people tend to get hurt more because they are more trusting, they have high expectations of others and tend to be let down, they are easy to take advantage of.

On the other hand, Elizabeth Ross writes: The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." In theory nice people know how it feels to be broken, so they are more aware of not hurting others.

Another question I have to ask though is how does someone get hurt? You can only get hurt if you let someone hurt you. You can only get hurt if you trust someone. You can only get hurt if you love someone. Thus nice people demonstrate trust, demonstrate forgiveness, and love. By opening themselves up to others they risk pain and destruction. (That a mean person would never risk.)

And this can be daunting at first thought. But then as I think about it more, it makes perfect sense. It goes back to the Great Controversy. The love that Christ invested in His freedom was demonstrated by trust in us and then he gave us the power to hurt him. And He gave us that power to hurt him emotionally because He gave us Himself.

But if God wasn't "nice"; if he wasn't loving. He could have just taken away the investment in us and His care. And then He wouldn't have been vulnerable to feelings about us as His creation. Thus Jesus wouldn't have been sent from the cross and he wouldn't have been hurt, and bruised, and scorned by the people he loved over and over again.

Jesus was nice; he was loving and he got hurt. But if he didn't open up himself to getting hurt he couldn't have opened up himself to being loved and us loving him. Because love requires risk. To be loved, we have to be willing to get hurt. And we will be hurt.

God sent Jesus to this earth who modeled a life of both love and pain, kindness and hurt. He experienced the most pain possible for a human being even though he was the nicest person and he asks us to follow in His shoes. So if we dare to follow a God of love, then we dare to journey into a world of hurt. Where we will be hurt, we can be reassured, that in our most broken places we are never alone- because Jesus was hurt in the same way.

Psalm 23

The shepherd prayer is something I've heard my whole life but today as I read the first few verses, I had to stop and really wonder: What does it mean to not be in want?

To lie down in green pastures and to be led by the Lord to quiet waters?

I can stop right there because often I don't feel that's my daily experience or my life journey. I'm more an "on the move" kinda girl, running kind, climbing kind, falling off cliffs belly flop first kind. My life is fast; I have big dreams. I struggle with restlessness.

I don't know much of quiet waters or long pastures. Even though I live in Oklahoma, farming has never really been my thing ;)

So what is this psalm really about?

"Because the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul. He guides me in the path of righteousness... Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil."

So here's what really struck me. Three things.

The first is God is about restoring my soul. He sees the brokenness on this earth and the hustle and bustle that often cause us anxiety and contribute to sin and distraction. He wants to quiet us down so we can get to know Him. He has to stop us sometimes; has to literally grab our hands and say hey sit down, don't just sit down, lay down, rest with me. Because resting with someone, laying down looking up at the stars or the clouds, is one of the peaceful and most intimate activities. So first off, to know God better, to walk with God clearer, we have to slow down. We have to give God that time and I think He will slowly teach us what it means to be truly content; that travel, romance, parties, adventure can never come close to the fulfillment we can find in knowing Him.

But the second thing is more profound- you might not agree but-what if this psalm is not saying that one week we are walking through the pastures, and then the waters, and then, oh no, we walk through the shadow of death. What if it's saying that every day, we are walking through the shadow of death, but walking with the Lord makes it feel like we're walking through pastures and quiet waters?

Like what if even in the shadow of death, the Lord can make us lie down, and find the quiet waters. Not even so much that God is in the business of making us slow and boring people but more that whatever our lives look like on the outside on the inside we can have that calmness and fearlessness and rest on the inside.

Third option is that we see the Lord leading us besides quiet waters, guiding us in paths of righteousness, and then we see that "I walk through the valley of the shadow of death" but that God still goes with me. So here you could say that God is constantly leading me to Beulah land, to righteous ways which will reap good fruits, to safe and good places... yet it is my own sin and selfishness that causes me to end up in the valley of death sometimes. Yet even though the valley is not where God has led me, not where the shepherd chose, the shepherd still comes. He comes seeking, comes looking and carries his sheep back from the valley of death all the way home and back to the quiet waters and green pastures.

I don't know exactly what in this passage God is speaking to you about. But it reminds us of God's character as a shepherd who loves us and wants us to dwell in beautiful places with Him. I really want to learn more what it means to rest and abide in Christ, in green pastures, quiet waters, and paths of righteousness, and maybe even when the darkness comes I will still be abiding.

Psalm 27:4 One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.

First Week of Night Shift

I'm beyond thankful that I survived 3 nights in a row- and my first nights as a nurse in training at the children's hospital. I'm definitely exhausted today- but my heart is so full with the love and mercy of knowing Jesus and friends who know Him. My heart is so overwhelmed with thankfulness for his grace that pours like rain and covers us when we need Him.

This life is so weird and bizarre at times and I find that I'm finally experiencing a reality check as my three years in nursing school finally pay off, and instead of studying in the class, I get to be the one that babies and children and worried parents call out to in the middle of the night. I get to be the one to auscultate their apical heart rates, to give them pain medicine, and to whisper to them "are you doing ok?"... And yet at the same time as finally getting to use my knowledge, I experience the reality that as a baby nurse I know so very little about infants and their needs, and toddlers, and teenagers.

There's nothing like having to watch beautiful children suffer. It's a reality so deep and painful that I hope my heart never becomes numb too. And yet as much as it is dark in the nights and in some of these kids lives', as a nurse you see the care of God in the midst of despair. I see a loving God who comforts these children, who speaks to their mother, who gives strength to the one who is about to give up. I know a God who cares- which inspires me to care- in response.

I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to stay up all night long. And it was hard for me- night shift is something I never want to do when I'm married or have a family. I don't want to do it right now even. But sometimes you have to do things even when you wouldn't so choose. I'm so grateful for my friends in my life who prayed for me, asked me how I was doing, and even offered to cook me food. They were so kind and supportive. And then I feel so blessed by God just for little things during the night, that gave me joy, like the most beautiful baby boy and getting to hold him, or a little girl wanting to talk to me. I'm grateful that God reaches out to us in the way we need, that He speaks our language, knows our heart.

One week down- three to four days when you feel like a social outcast who literally goes to work at night and sleeps all day long-  I survived week one. And if I can comfort a child in the midst of their illness, if I can see families the way God sees them, if I can pray for my patients and treat them differently- if one child's life could be changed for the better, then yes, it was worth it.

Lord of the Nights

I'm currently reading a book "How to Survive a Shipwreck" by Jonathan Martin and his subtitle is "Help is on the way and love is already there." I don't know about you, but it gives me great, great comfort to know that God is Lord of the shipwrecks in our lives, the nights, and the dark as well as He is the God of light and everything glorious. 

Because of sin, sometimes we all face darkness in our lives, and at some times we will come face to face with our greatest fears, and our doubts and shame threaten to overthrow us. Sometimes we just go through hard things- when we end up with more desperate prayers... God get me through the night or Lord help me sleep. Maybe even, Father help me live; help me forgive; give me a reason for this.

The first time I read about Jacob wrestling with God in the Bible, I was confused. Why would a human wrestle God, and then my bigger question Why did God wrestle back? Why did he let him go off with a broken hip; why did he bless him that day- in the struggle for his life?

As I was studying and thinking a little more, Jacob was wrestling with alot that night both in his head and heart as well as his body. He was wrestling with shame from deceiving his father and brother, wrestling with his fears of confronting his brother's army the next day, the fears of death, fighting surrender and God's plan for His life.

Sometimes it's easier to fight physical battles then mental and spiritual warfares. But Jacob confronted his failures, weaknesses, and sins and dares to face God. It was an exhausting and humiliating struggle that crippled him. I'm sure it crippled his pride, tore away every idol he had clung too for comfort, stripped him of his old identity.. I'm sure it was painful, exhausting, and difficult. But God had mercy on Jacob; blessed him; and gave him a new name Israel. He was a new man who had full reliance on Christ and had experienced the power of forgiveness.

Satan loves sin but sometimes I think he loves the result of sin: shame and separation from God even more than the acts itself. When we mess up, his goal is to show us that we are unworthy and cannot come back to God. He doesn't want us to wrestle because then we would have to look God in the face again. He wants us to run away, to wimp out, to stay paralyzed in fear, focusing on ourselves.

But even in your biggest sins, even in your moment of fear, when the darkness has come over you, when the shipwreck threatens to take all your life away- you can look to God. And if you are angry, you can fight him, you can yell at him, ask him your questions, challenge Him, but look to Him. If you see God, in your night, or in your days, you will be changed. So do not fear to give everything to God because He can handle every part of you, every fear, and every struggle and he can give you the courage to overcome and change you into a new man/ woman for His kingdom.

WE NEED NATURE

It seems to me these days, that so many people are intimidated by the outdoors.

Oh they go on hikes- of course- the man made paths taking you from short destinations to another, so that one may view a waterfall or cave. They follow the map, they do shorter trails, they go to "national parks". But when you ask them to trailblaze they will often complain about the weeds, the bush, the snakes. When you tell them to explore, they will ask you for the map. They hesitate to go in the cave if there's no guide. They won't climb the waterfall because they are afraid. And they only swim in the ocean when it's warm and at the right times.

What I'm saying is, in general, our generation and the generations after us are becoming more and more afraid of nature. Less and less prepared to survive outside. We hate the cold, the mosquitos bother us, and we would rather camp in a cabin or hotel then spend a night in a tent.

And you may be saying, yes but why does this matter?

It matters because it's hurting our relationship to God and others.

It matters because nature proclaims the glory of God. The Word says that "through Him all things were made; that Has been made." We can learn about Christ through every single aspect of creation.

Job 12:7-10 "Ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky and they will tell you, speak to the earth, or let the fish of the sea inform you, Which of these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this?"

In nature we are taught who Christ is by getting to meet the Creator. We learn that God is not a weak God, not passive, but powerful; full of beauty, detail, plan.

We come face to face with Christ realizing our smallness in comparison to Him. We are reminded that we are not the center of the universe. We have no control on the ocean or tides. When we climb the mountains we realize we are tired and the journey to God takes endurance. Nature teaches us, that the world is a lie, when it tells us "it's all about me". Because nature is about Christ.

We are a technology generation. We use electricity to create balance in our homes with temperatures. We love control. We control our environments, our choice of careers, our food, and we try to control our lives. And when we are inside, we have quite a bit of control, quite a bit of so called "safety".

But when you go wild, when you go outdoors, when you go rugged, it's amazing.. it's scary, it's real because you lose control! And it's beautiful- it's authentic- it's real. You meet a real God, a wild God, you have the opportunity to know Him in a realer way. And you learn that He's not contained by the limits of your expectations, and the rules you think you have to follow, you learn that He is so much bigger than you. And that you are so much smaller than you ever realized.

Nature is crazy; it's amazing. And I think Satan loves it when we opt out, when we take the safe path more traveled, when we are too busy working in our technology filled, comfortable, controlled lives... but sometimes we have to schedule ourselves an adventure. We have to get out there again. Back out into nature, back into the wild- so that we can be reminded who Christ is.

Don't be intimidated by nature. Your life is worth risking sometimes to find something truly good, truly real. Just get out there and find an adventure that's worth living for- find God.

Why are Christians so mean?

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for the time a Christian, or an Adventist was mean to you. I'm so sorry for the way they judged you, they judged your clothes, your family, your background, or something you said. I'm sorry for the way the church hurt you- the way it caused you to question if you wanted to know Jesus? I'm sorry for the time you visited church and it wasn't friendly. I'm sorry that you didn't feel reached by the community of believers. And I'm sorry, for the time I misrepresented Jesus to you.

Let me tell you that my Savior is so different from the way people make Him seem sometimes. He is so loving and so good. He is fair, honest, and just- sin has no power in comparison to His glory. He is just and full of unending grace and love.

I've been there before where I felt shameful and unaccepted. I was afraid to meet Jesus because I expected condemnation. Like the woman who was an adulterer- I was ready for the stones, for the judgement I believed I deserved... And yet when I met Jesus. He knelt in the sand, next to me. He touched my hands, touched my heart, changed my life, set me free.

And I hope that no human being- can ever keep you away from getting to know Christ. Because the moment you reach out to meet Him, He will embrace you, showering you with a love you've never known. He knows everything about you and yet deeply desires you anyways.

I was thinking though, about some reasons why Christians could be rude and mean and here are my top ideas. I'm definitely welcome to any thoughts on this issue.

1. Cold Christians? You try to talk to them and they answer with short sentences, they don't smile at you or welcome you? I believe that for many individuals they don't do this on purpose but I think that we can't accept and reach out to others until we feel fully accepted in the church ourselves. When we are living in a Christian "performance" we are so focused on making our own friends and doing the right things that we don't intentionally realize we are called to look around and be welcoming and kind to others. Then you also just have shy people, who are normally perceived as being cold or not liking socialization.

2. Judgmental Christians? These Christians may be trying to earn their Christianity with works. They may have been in the church for a while and developed very strict rules for themselves that help them keep closer to what they think Christ is like. It is easy with these rule regulated individuals who are constantly judging themselves and creating this high standard to give off an attitude of judgement. Until an individual accepts the grace of God in abundance it is difficult to extend grace and compassion to others. If we are feeling judged there is also a good possibility that we feel this way not because of what they are doing, but because of personal fears ourselves and comparisons to others.

3. Boxed Christians. Boxed Christians are super sheltered and struggle to talk to people who aren't raised like them. They get freaked out with words like "alcohol" "movies" "lesbian" and "meat." Thus severely limiting their friendships to Christians who are like them. It's not always that the box Christians don't like you; they just often don't understand. Box Christians may be afraid or intimidated by unboxed individuals because they don't know what to say or how to reach out. Boxed Christians may be hesitant to meet you anywhere other than Bible studies or church because they don't want to give you the wrong idea- they don't want to care too much or worry about rules they have been taught since they were young.

4. Nominal Christians. Many people who claim to know Jesus don't really know Jesus. So in a typical church you need to consider that many of the people you meet, aren't actually living like Jesus- thus they may not be demonstrating the fruits of the spirit that God calls us to represent. These nominal Christians give Christians a bad rap in general by playing the same games as the rest of the world but knowing how to put on a show for church and/or Sabbath.

5. Sinners. That's you; that's me. The reality is every Sabbath school teacher, preacher, and priest sins and falls short of the glory of God. Although it's probably not their intention to hurt you, the probability that it will happen is highly likely.