Seasons

As the sun comes out and colors us golden and it's finally nice enough to really dive into the waters, I have to think about the seasons. About the changes of the weather over a period of a year and about the changes God has brought into my life and seasons I have been through.

Friends, God is a merciful God and I love my journey with Him. And I really hope you know the Savior. I hope you haven't just read about Him, haven't just heard Him preached about. But I hope you met Him. Because He's the best friend I've ever had; He's the only thing that brings peace and joy.

There was a season when I felt expected to follow the rules. When I thought that God was harsh and judgmental. I based my identity on being a "good Christian girl". Yet I worried about my performances. I worried about grades and doing the right things. I thought I knew Jesus- but I didn't know the peace. I didn't realize that every worry on this life is so small compared to His blessings.

There was a season where I really struggled with loneliness. God was blessing me and teaching me so many lessons in faith and trust, and what it meant to do the right thing even if you were alone. But as I moved around so much in middle and high school, there were many times I was alone. And I learned that it was ok to be alone because God is always our best friend.

There was a season of surrender and confusion. Where my prayers became deeper and desperate where I asked God to break my heart for everything that broke His. Where I struggled with finding the will of God, wondering where my identity and purpose lay. And finding the God of the Universe asking me to lay it all down, to simply trust Him to guide me.

There was a season where I struggled with depression. Where I felt so hurt by relationships and I felt so alone in dealing with that hurt. The pain seemed too deep, too personable to share with other people. I wanted to fight it out myself. I hoped that ignoring it would take the pain away. But it didn't go away on it's own. I had to pray desperate prayers, I had to ask for help.

And there was also a season of harvest, when everything seemed to be going picture perfect. A season of meaningful friendships, joyful adventures, genuine love and experience, and spiritual and professional growth.

And looking back, if I could talk to myself when I was 12, or 15, or 20 years old, even 22. I would encourage myself to embrace the season and not to worry about the struggles. Not to worry about the hardships, because God would prove faithful. Not to judge others because you never know what season they are in, where God is taking them.

He always has provided in my life. I trust He always will. The season I'm in right now is really beautiful because I'm in a place I've never been doing career things I never imagined. I feel like I'm finally beginning to conquer night shifts. I've almost finished all my BSN classes. And I get to be a pediatric nurse- I get to take care of beautiful sick children. And I love it. I didn't think I would like it- but I truly love it.

I don't know what season you are in. If it feels more like winter- and things are hard- or if the air is bright and the sun is shining down on you. But remember that God is present. That He created you, that He loves you, that He promises to fulfill the good work He started in you. And if you are struggling, remember that it gets better.

Trust me it does. If not soon here on this earth, heaven will be glorious.