Mother

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!  Isaiah 49:15

I was taking care of a child who was handicapped and extremely sick. The child was helpless, the needs were heavy and burdensome to care for the child. Yet the mother spoke tenderly to her daughter calling her Princess. The years of care and care for this child, seemed to only deepen the love this mom had for her. For this girl was her daughter- who came out of her womb- and nothing the daughter could do could change the mom's love.

How often we doubt our heavenly Father's love for us. I think if we could understand the depths of His love- we would experience more life transformation- not from acting, but from living in that kind of love.

And yet so often I wonder of my worth and value, because I place it in external measures like performance and law-abidance. I look to earthly people to confirm my value instead of looking to my Father who created me.

And yet seeing the love of some of the mother's in my hospital- seeing that deep, genuine real love. Although our earthly love is so flawed compared to God's. It just brings so much hope and inspiration to my heart to know so much more that God sees my journey- where I've come from and where I'm going- and He loves me no matter where I am at.

Lately friends, I feel like I've stumbling. It's a trap I've fallen into before. And I'm finally aware of where I stepped out and how tripped up I've become. It's frustrating to fall back into sin- especially something that you've worked hard to overcome- or that you promised yourself you would never go back too.

But I have so much to thank God for, because He doesn't give up on me and He doesn't give up on you. And His love is so much deeper and wider and more abundant than anything I can imagine.

The Strayed Son or Daughter

Often in my life, I get frustrated with something and my frustration turns to anger and sometimes my anger even turns to blaming God. And it's at these hard valleys in life- that I need God most. Yet the Devil works so hard, to convince my mind that I'm undeserving of God's grace, that I'm too low, too needy, too emotional, too far from God at the present time to come back and make that connection.

So I run and flail from the things I need most. I need prayer, I need Jesus, I need friends. And yet I want distance, so I run. I rebel. I try to flee the people and God who love me most.

And it's after I've attempted to run away, to fix it on my own, to avoid the issue- that I finally find myself lying on the ground in the mud, in the dirt, all alone. And I remember..

Wait I need Jesus.

Jesus can you still save me?

Jesus do you still love the one covered in dirt?

And the wonderful news is, friends. That He loves us, oh how he loves us. Luke 15:22-24

But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’
This is a story I know by heart. And sure there's times I roll my eyes, because I say: why so much love for the rebel child? When the good son has been there all alone being obedient.

But friends, when you find yourself convicted. When you find yourself enslaved by sin. When you find yourself wondering far away, this story quickly becomes your story.

He runs to meet you.

He sings and dances over you.

He celebrates with you. Not only the big steps and conversions. But when you find your way back to Him again, He celebrates that with you.

He is a God of mercy. He is a God of forgiveness, of hope, of love.

And when you become a child of God, he won't just abandon you for messing up or straying. He will look for you. He will fight for you. Your identity is safe in Him as a son or daughter.

So take courage, no matter how far you've ran, no matter how far you've strayed. You can still come home.

Affirmation

I think we often overlook the power of the words that we say- especially to the people we love.

With my friends that live with me, I think the one thing that really makes a big difference in our house is that we affirm each other- not just once a day or once a week. But we affirm each other all the time.

You did a great job on your test.
I love your painting.
Your an amazing nurse.
I love your dress.
Great job on running that mile.

It's something I used to be really uncomfortable with: the affirmation thing. I didn't use to want to compliment people unless they did something exceptional.

I didn't want them to get the wrong idea or give them something they didn't deserve.

For a while, words seemed cheap. And I didn't know if it was worth it to give compliments.

I still really struggle sometimes. Because it's just so easy to jokingly criticize someone or to put someone down.

But you never know how much that may hurt someone. Words can stay in our heads for a long time.

When I'm at the hospital, I speak super sweetly to my kids. I tell them "Your doing great. Your being so brave. Your doing an awesome job."

And in the beginning you feel a little silly saying those things.

And maybe the kids struggle to hear them. Because you might not believe what you are saying, they might not be able to accept it.

But after a while, it gets easier to praise people. You start believing what you are telling the kids. The kids start believing in their worth and capability.

And I think in so many ways, as grown ups and adults, we're still the same. We need the affirmation and encouragement because we sometimes struggle to believe in ourselves.

When we tell people who we see them becoming, we help them to grow into that person.

"You are so kind. You are so brave. Your doing a great job."

We never know how much a difference these words make until we are the ones really struggling and we are hearing them. Sometimes it's enough to really change a life.

It sounds silly sometimes. Sometimes I feel like a push over saying those words. And yet if I imagine Jesus on this earth, I think he would give a lot of affirmation. Not just meaningless words but words that spoke to the heart of who people were and who He was changing them into.

He would speak words that brought life and power. That made people feel forgiven and accepted and loved.

And so I think if we want to be like Jesus, we could learn to talk more like Him. We could learn to affirm more.

Seasons

As the sun comes out and colors us golden and it's finally nice enough to really dive into the waters, I have to think about the seasons. About the changes of the weather over a period of a year and about the changes God has brought into my life and seasons I have been through.

Friends, God is a merciful God and I love my journey with Him. And I really hope you know the Savior. I hope you haven't just read about Him, haven't just heard Him preached about. But I hope you met Him. Because He's the best friend I've ever had; He's the only thing that brings peace and joy.

There was a season when I felt expected to follow the rules. When I thought that God was harsh and judgmental. I based my identity on being a "good Christian girl". Yet I worried about my performances. I worried about grades and doing the right things. I thought I knew Jesus- but I didn't know the peace. I didn't realize that every worry on this life is so small compared to His blessings.

There was a season where I really struggled with loneliness. God was blessing me and teaching me so many lessons in faith and trust, and what it meant to do the right thing even if you were alone. But as I moved around so much in middle and high school, there were many times I was alone. And I learned that it was ok to be alone because God is always our best friend.

There was a season of surrender and confusion. Where my prayers became deeper and desperate where I asked God to break my heart for everything that broke His. Where I struggled with finding the will of God, wondering where my identity and purpose lay. And finding the God of the Universe asking me to lay it all down, to simply trust Him to guide me.

There was a season where I struggled with depression. Where I felt so hurt by relationships and I felt so alone in dealing with that hurt. The pain seemed too deep, too personable to share with other people. I wanted to fight it out myself. I hoped that ignoring it would take the pain away. But it didn't go away on it's own. I had to pray desperate prayers, I had to ask for help.

And there was also a season of harvest, when everything seemed to be going picture perfect. A season of meaningful friendships, joyful adventures, genuine love and experience, and spiritual and professional growth.

And looking back, if I could talk to myself when I was 12, or 15, or 20 years old, even 22. I would encourage myself to embrace the season and not to worry about the struggles. Not to worry about the hardships, because God would prove faithful. Not to judge others because you never know what season they are in, where God is taking them.

He always has provided in my life. I trust He always will. The season I'm in right now is really beautiful because I'm in a place I've never been doing career things I never imagined. I feel like I'm finally beginning to conquer night shifts. I've almost finished all my BSN classes. And I get to be a pediatric nurse- I get to take care of beautiful sick children. And I love it. I didn't think I would like it- but I truly love it.

I don't know what season you are in. If it feels more like winter- and things are hard- or if the air is bright and the sun is shining down on you. But remember that God is present. That He created you, that He loves you, that He promises to fulfill the good work He started in you. And if you are struggling, remember that it gets better.

Trust me it does. If not soon here on this earth, heaven will be glorious.

Striving

Where has our gratitude gone?

Society teaches us to strive for more and more. Better jobs, more efficient ways of doing things, faster wifi, instant communication, instant gratification, more goods, more popularity, more money = more satisfaction.

When are we going to be content? When are we going to be grateful?

Ecclesiastes 4:6 says "Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind."

I don't know about you friends, but I want a grateful heart.

I want a heart that has joy because Jesus is more than enough for me.

I want to stop striving for the things of this world and be content with the relationships God has given us with Him and with family and friends.

I want to recite Psalm 4:7 which says "You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound."

And I have to be really honest, and say sometimes that's not where my heart is at.

Sometimes I make lists of the things I want instead of lists of the things I'm grateful for.

Sometimes my prayers consist more of gift request lists than praises of gratitude.

Sometimes I forget that Jesus is truly enough for all my needs.

And yet friends, we have so much to be thankful for because even in our selfishness, He is a God of mercy. And He knows our struggles with materialism, with wish lists, with idolatry, with competing desires... And He says come to me.

Come to me you people who are heavy burdened. Come to me you people who are grasping at things you are not able to obtain.

Come and I will give you rest. Come and I will give you satisfaction.

I will give you waters to drink of that will never run dry.

Come to the well so you don't have to strive or be thirsty any longer.