Friday, January 31, 2014

Just Go

I'm 19 and I'm living in Pucallpa, Peru for 8 months. I'm working at a medical clinic, teaching swimming classes, doing evangelism, and working with children at a local orphanage. It's crazy awesome sometimes and other times a real struggle, but nevertheless God is at work and I am so glad that I decided to go as a student missionary.

I remember last year around this time, praying hard about whether or not I should go. In my heart, I wanted to serve so bad, but when I would talk to my parents or other friends about going, many of them advised me to wait another year saying that I was too young. Without full support from my family, I didn't want to go. I started praying to God that if it was His will for me to go as a missionary He would make it perfectly clear by doing three things: giving me my families support, giving me a friend on the same trip, and giving me a sign so that I could know without a doubt that He was calling me now.

I had Peru in my heart the whole time, and I wanted to go so bad. The only thing that was surprising about my location I was applying for was that it was a medical clinic. Ever since I have been young, I have hated/ had serious fears about the medical field. So what was I doing applying to a clinical missionary site? I wanted to go somewhere where God would have to work in me and give me His strength where I was weak.

I prayed and prayed through February, and March when I went on a short term mission trip with the Gym Masters to the Dominican Republic. When I returned, I did the Daniel Fast with the intent of discovering God's will and if He wanted me to go. I asked my parents every month starting in September if I could go, and for the first time, when I came back in March from the Dominican, I had their approval. On the Gym Master mission trip, I also met a girl named Becca, who just like me had applied to AMOR Projects. Thus God was answering my prayers! One night in March, I was star gazing with my best friend and prayed to God that if it was His will for me to go, He would give me a shooting star. That night I got not one, but three shooting stars. That's when I knew I was going.

Going as as student missionary has been an experience I will never forget. God has been teaching me so much! I've become more outspoken, more of a leader, overcame many of my medical fears, and most importantly learned how to truly trust God in a different way. My eyes have been opened to how much of the world lives. God has been at work in the breaking and remaking of my heart.

Yes there's been struggles- real struggles- that are hard to understand until you just go. But God has proven faithful time and time again, and has never let me down. I have been through worms, a serious allergic reaction that seemed like leprosy, lice, dreads and mold, bucket showers, frogs, and homesickness that never seems to go away- yet through it all God is here.

Because I chose to follow God across the world, wherever He would lead me, into a clinic where I HATED doctors, shots, and the medical field... God has blessed me so much more than I could ever begin to describe. He helped me teach more than a 100 kids how to swim, helped me overcome my fear of the medical field and learn to give shots, meds, and blood sugar tests, helped me raise over $2500 for orphan kids so we could give them all Christmas presents, and helped me travel to Buenos Aires, Lima, and Machu Picchu with some of the best friends and the best sm family in the world.

You say your thinking about going as a student missionary? Why don't you start praying about going as a student missionary? If you have been given the idea, the hope, or the dream of going as an sm, it is probably a God thing! Don't just ignore the feeling to go or make excuses. God does not call the qualified but qualifies the called by His power and grace.

College is the easiest time to take a year and travel the world sharing the love of God. If you're worried about taking time off from school, realize that you can always get a degree or take classes later. If you don't think you can raise the money, why don't you pray and test God? I challenge you to pray, to pray hard, about whether or not God is calling you to go as a student missionary and to listen and obey whatever God is saying. I challenge you to go serve.

Matthew 28:18-19
Go ye therefore into all the world, and preach the Gospel to all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded. And I will be with you always, even until the end of the world.



Monday, January 27, 2014

Somewhere in the Middle

"Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle


Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle"

-- Casting Crowns--

Somewhere between the rich and the poor
Somewhere between the saint and the rebel
Somewhere between the American lifestyle and the slums
Somewhere between homesick and never wanting to leave
Somewhere between loving God and being totally burnt out
Somewhere between surrendering all and totally forgetting God

Philippians 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

If we are in the middle, God is giving us a choice- to keep going or to look back to the world. To follow God and persevere trusting that Jesus will continue to work in you, or to go back to your old ways and let Satan rule your life. You get to this point with Christ, where you realize He's not a Santa Clause God- following Him is not following yourself, it will not be easy- and you can choose to stop if you want. But if you want to continue following God, you have to go all in.

I used to think being an sm for a year was going all-in. I thought that surrendering for a year meant I was totally going crazy for God and that my relationship and walk from Him would be set after this year. Let me tell you: I was wrong. God doesn't want one year, He wants my life. Don't get me wrong, being an SM is a great start. But God is calling me for so much more. He says that's great you gave me one year, but what about your future, your career, your talents, your friends, your future husband, your time.. I want everything.
And honestly it's hard because my selfish desires clash with God's desire. But lately God has been telling me, make your choice...

I can't be caught in the middle.
I can't be looking back at my past while trying to face my future.
I can't cling to my selfish ambitions or hopes
I need to surrender them to Christ.

Then the Lord told Abram, ‘leave your country, your relatives, and your father’s house and go to the land that I will show you.’” – Gen 12:1 

So are you in the middle? Did you start surrendering but never finish? Are you stuck? Then you need to jump, you need to leave, you need to change. Pray to God and ask Him to take you out of the middle. Ask Him to lead you to a place where He can circumcise you with His love and spirit and give you a new heart. Ask the Lord of Mercy to take you out of the middle.

Ezekiel 36:26  And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

In the end, between Satan and the Lord- Satan gets the middle because they are not covered in Christ's blood. Thus we cannot be caught in the middle. Pray that God takes you out of the middle today and truly teaches you surrender.

I love Lima.. and traveling

Today is our last day here in Lima, Peru. Tomorrow we fly to Cuzco where we will visit Macchu Picchu and then we fly back to Pucallpa for 3 months more of service. Traveling has been so much fun. I wish I could travel forever, but that would be expensive. I guess in a few days I will be ready to return to AMOR Projects and jump back into clinic, teaching English, and swimming lessons.

Yesterday we went surfing again. I am doing alot better and working on turning and standing up for a longer period of time. We also went to a chocolate museum yesterday. We learned all about how cacao was made from the plant to the bean- the grinding process- and finally we made our own truffles. Peru is the 13th leading exporter of the cacao plant and all the countries that produce cacao are right along the equator line.

I have met alot of interesting people from many different countries while traveling. Many of them travel to escape the realm of the sad life they live- often running away from a divorce or from a bad family background- looking to something new. Often they travel from hostel to hostel in South America hanging out with random people they meet and partying all night long at bars.

Staying at hostels is now something I'm totally ok with and actually recommend doing. Of course you have to look for safe ones, but for $8 a night plus breakfast and wifi- it's really not too bad.

I guess that's all for now- I'm so not ready to go back to the clinic- 3 months- I think that will go fast..

2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every evil pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Random photos =)








Entitlement

 Side note: The more I learn about Jesus, the more I begin to hate myself. People often think "Oh your a missionary- a super Christian- your a girl that does the right things." But honestly it's not like that. Day by day while I'm here in Peru and South America I am being convicted of how sinful I am and how far away I am from Christ. I am learning to hate my sinful self a little bit more. I am learning that I can't trust myself, because as Paul says I do the things I hate. Does that mean I can keep sinning? No I must constantly fight the battle against sin and selfishness... but I must fully everyday rely 100% on Christ and not on my own strength.I am learning not to love myself for who I am- because that would be selfishness- but because Christ is living and remaking me.

"So often, we feel like we deserve things. We have a right to certain things.
We feel like we deserve running water. We feel like we deserve our dinner’s to be cooked by our parents. We feel like we deserve a house over our head, and a warm bed to sleep in.  We feel like we deserve a smart phone. That we should be paid a certain amount of money for our jobs.
This is usually because it has become the norm for us. We are so used to having things a certain way, that we begin to expect things. It can begin with things as little as expecting a car ride home from church, and skipping the thank you because they “should’ve given you a lift anyway.” Or, someone has been doing other favours, such as taking out your trash every week. Then one day, they forget to, or they are unable to. Because you feel entitled to that person doing you the favour, you complain, you demand things from them, and you are offended." http://audriculous.wordpress.com/

Before I came to Peru, I thought I deserved alot. Afterall, I make good grades in college, am a "good kid", have a nice well off family- I thought I deserved love, to be taken care of, to be protected, to be provided for, to have clean water, to be healthy, to receive the best education, to be able to have any career I choose, to have toilet paper.. the list goes on.Yes I thought I deserved those things; I thought I was entitled to them.

And then I came to Peru as a missionary and realized: no one owes me anything. Life isn't just or fair- one person does not deserve one thing or another. No  race, class, or achieved person deserves to be taken care of any more than another does. Money is simply money- often used as a ticket to entitlement- money can be gone with the wind in a number of seconds due to an accident, a death, a mistake, a lawsuit. Race is simply family history- back ground- DNA, a chance. Achievements are only temporary, comparative, quantitative, something only to be remembered...

What makes one person think that because of their money they deserve to be waited upon by a servant while a baby across the world deserves to die?
Or because of race one person can receive free medical treatment but another one deserves death from a terminable disease? No of course it's not fair. It's not fair that in America people have so much that they waste and are dying from obesity of eating while other countries are starving and malnourished.
Are we entitled?
We are not.
Do we feel entitled?
Often we do.

We must ask God to open our eyes and realize that we are not entitled, we do not deserve what we have been given. We are blessed- we are fortunate. And we are blessed by God- with His money, family, friends, and gifts- so that we can bless others.

We are not entitled to houses, bathrooms, friends, loving families, food, or safe jobs
We are gifted by God
And sometimes we are given challenges, and struggles to strengthen our faith
God does not promise us easy, rich lives if we follow Him
He does not promise us entitlement to anything
But He tells us that because of His grace, He will give us the best thing in the world- the thing we don't deserve at all- a place in heaven- the home and palace of Christ Himself- for all of eternity.
God has given us so much more than we deserve because the only thing we deserve is death for our sins
Thank God today for your blessings and for salvation.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Monasteries and thoughts about church

Happy Sabbath everyone. Since it is God's special day what a perfect time to think about God's house and the place of worship itself- the church. Today in Lima we visited the palace, St. Francis Monastery, and the Iglesia Compania de Jesus Catholic Church. Both of the cathedrals were astounding- I can't even begin to describe how beautiful they were. The art, the architecture, the designs, and the paintings- everything was perfect, gold plastered, oil painted, massive...

There are so many beautiful Catholic churches around the world! I can't help but think that some of the other religions like my church SDA's are missing out on some of the beauty and aspects of worshiping Christ by not taking the time and money to invest in a beautiful house for the presence of God, as well as art and architecture that reflects His character. We're talking about God's house after all- does He not deserve the best?

I know most SDA churches I've been too are simply buildings with hard seats. I'm not excited to see the building. Unfortunately, nor often do I come with an attitude of reverence knowing that I am in the house of God Himself. What a shame! EGW says

          "From the sacredness which was attached to the earthly sanctuary, Christians may learn how they should regard the place where the Lord meets with His people. There has been a great change, not for the better, but for the worse, in the habits and customs of the people in reference to religious worship. The precious, the sacred, things which connect us with God are fast losing their hold upon our minds and hearts, and are being brought down to the level of common things. The reverence which the people had anciently for the sanctuary where they met with God in sacred service has largely passed away. Nevertheless, God Himself gave the order of His service, exalting it high above everything of a temporal nature."

1 Kings 8:10-13 talks about the house of God being a Holy place- where the glory of God can be revealed. Thus are we prepared for the glory of God to be revealed in our churches?
Is the church structure prepared to demonstrate God's glory? And even more importantly are we the people prepared for God's glory?

Exodus 25:8 Let them construct a sanctuary for me; that I may dwell among them.

In the Old Testament, one thing that we can learn about God, is that He cares about beauty, order, and details. We can see that with his directions and requirements for the sanctuary. The sanctuary has absolutely perfect design reflecting the heavenly sanctuary. Only in somewhere so pure can God's glory be revealed.

2 Samuel 7:5-7 " .. Would you build me a house to dwell in?.."

Yes as the New Testament explains, our temple for God is our body- God wants to dwell in us personally- how wonderful! But shouldn't we still pay attention to our place of worship? When I went in the Catholic churches, I was stunned by the grandness and it reminded me of the purity of Christ. Then I saw paintings of the twelve disciples- and looking into each painting helped me paint their stories into my hearts. There was a huge library full of books of the Bible to study and memorize and ancient documents the teacher would study. There was a kitchen where everyday San Franciscans come and cook for the poor and a beautiful garden center where God's glory in nature could be revealed.

I believe that God speaks to everyone in different ways and often with many different things: nature, paintings, music, architecture, words, friends, art- I just love that you can hear Jesus' voice in so many ways at the churches we visited today. I love the spirit of holiness and purity- it helps me see God clearer.

 Today is Sabbath and I encourage you to look into visiting a beautiful church, or invest time or money in making your church beautiful (after all it is a meeting place for the glory of God to be revealed). Art depicting Biblical stories can do wonders for helping to see the Bible come to life. Beautiful music, and gentle instruments can help you listen to God's voice. A nice outside park or area with benches and a place of open nature would be a nice release for people to see God.Most importantly, it is important that we change our own hearts and come to church with a heart of reverence and willingness to see God, share God's glory, and learn more about Him.


Acts 7:8 Yet the Most High does not dwell in houses made by hands, as the prophet says, “‘Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool. What kind of house will you build for me, says the Lord, or what is the place of my rest?

Ecclesiastes 5:1 Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. To draw near to listen is better than to offer the sacrifice of fools, for they do not know that they are doing evil.
1 Kings 8:10-13 It happened that when the priests came from the holy place, the cloud filled the house of the LORD, so that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud, for the glory of the LORD filled the house of the LORD. Then Solomon said, "The LORD has said that He would dwell in the thick cloud. read more.
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/House-Of-God#sthash.BTGZaPin.dpuf
1 Kings 8:10-13 It happened that when the priests came from the holy place, the cloud filled the house of the LORD, so that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud, for the glory of the LORD filled the house of the LORD. Then Solomon said, "The LORD has said that He would dwell in the thick cloud. read more.
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/House-Of-God#sthash.BTGZaPin.dpuf

1 Kings 8:10-13 It happened that when the priests came from the holy place, the cloud filled the house of the LORD, so that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud, for the glory of the LORD filled the house of the LORD. Then Solomon said, "The LORD has said that He would dwell in the thick cloud. read more.
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/House-Of-God#sthash.BTGZaPin.dpuf

1 Kings 8:10-13 It happened that when the priests came from the holy place, the cloud filled the house of the LORD, so that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud, for the glory of the LORD filled the house of the LORD. Then Solomon said, "The LORD has said that He would dwell in the thick cloud. read more.
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/House-Of-God#sthash.BTGZaPin.dpuf

An Ocean

An Ocean

Your love is like an ocean
You will never dry away
Your grace doesn't abound in seasons
But in constance like the waves
Your power like the rushing, roaring, waves
That can knock anyone off astray
Your mystery incomprehensible
Like strange creatures in the bay

When we dive in
Head first, heart given in abandon
And choose to swim, float, and surf
No matter what may happen

That's when you help us rise and jump
And teach us to walk on water
We fear not what the Oceans bring
Because we have access to their maker




We went to the beach yesterday- the Pacific Ocean- and I loved it! The place I feel God most out of anywhere in the world is at the Ocean. Some people fear it- the sharks, jelly fish, huge waves- but I feel God there. When your swimming in the Ocean you just have to believe. Just like our walk with Christ, there will be waves that knock you off your feet, in circles, and cause you to gasp for air. But don't panic, you will stand up again and each wave you take on prepares you for an even bigger one. Just keep swimming- little by little- and you'll make it. Just keep following God- day by day- and trust me, you'll be ok!

I absolutely LOVE surfing. I'm definitely just a beginner. I've been maybe 5 times total, but the adrenaline of riding a wave just makes me go crazy. Yesterday I got a surfing lesson and a huge board. It wasn't totally necessary, but it did make it extremely nice to be able to catch and ride so many waves much easier. The Pacific Ocean was frigid- out on the coast of Lima in Mariflores- but the wet suits made it quite warm and we had an amazing time!