nursing level 3 complete

Today with much prayer, I took and passed with flying colors my adult 2 nursing final which means 3 out of 4 levels are now complete! I am so beyond grateful to God and amazed at the way He has been helping me do nursing school- something I never imagined trying.

It's crazy to think that one year ago I was the level 1 nursing student who couldn't sleep because she was so nervous about clinicals and could hardly watch others put in an iv.

2 years ago I was in the hospital room with my dad vowing never to work in such a dirty place and that I couldn't touch anything- especially the incentive spirometer.

And 3 years ago I was in a country far away where I promised God He could have every part of my life including my career, dreams, and fears. And I found myself in a clinic crying as the doctor asked me to learn to give my first shot...

Today, I thank God because I know that I am only passing because of His grace. I can only overcome my own fears with His strength. And soon I will be a nurse because He promises to faithfully complete the good works that He starts in us. And now I am SO excited to be a nurse. I want to take care of sick kids and babies, help moms get pregnant, and help orphanage children across the world.

If God is calling you to do something crazy that you are afraid of, unprepared or unqualified for, I encourage you to do it. Because when you do that thing that "you" can't do it enables God to put His power in you to do it and your trust in Him grows so much! I will never regret the year I spent in Peru learning to trust God more and I don't regret the journey through health science and trying to search out what major I should do. Because God was working in my heart, working in my life, and He knows the perfect timing and the perfect way and His plans are ALWAYS better than ours.

Christmas lights

It's amazing what some little white Christmas lights can do to change up an entire apartment. It can make you see the whole place differently, change the atmosphere. Then we bring in a tree- fresh and green- it's magnificent and beautiful. You just find yourself wanting to dwell, wanting to be a part of the season.

Sometimes we just need a small light to help us carry on. It's amazing what one person can spark in the hearts of another- with kind touch, genuine prayers, a little love. It really can be miraculous when we choose to represent Christ with the little things.

These days you really can't take your friends for granted. They are some of the most valuable people in the world- they have the power to make you feel like gold or trash. And I'm thankful for the friendships I have been developing this year- especially in nursing. After a hard test, nothing is better than hugs and hot tea. Friendships take efforts and sacrifice though- that's a lesson I'm learning. Especially when life gets busy, long distance happens, true and genuine friendships don't come without work.

Christmas is an opportunity for generosity- for thanking friends and family. In between finals and all, I had some fun making a few homemade gifts this year with jars, glitter, ribbons, pine cones, and bells. It doesn't have to be about the gift or the money- it's more the thought that counts. You'd be surprised what a little effort could mean to someone whose lonely. This holiday people seem just a little more open for love and acceptance. Everyone's looking for light- will they see you?

Just my life

It's been a long time since I've written. And that's mostly due to the recent whirlwinds of feelings going on in my head. I can't adequately focus and honestly portray what I've been experiencing.

Thanksgiving break was lovely- a good time with family and friends spent in Colorado. It was a blessing. I thank God for my family and wait for the day when I will be a mom and in some way try to follow the teachings my family has given me on how to raise a child in the way of Christ.

 School is busy- it wasn't too bad until after break. Now it's a three week- now only week and a half mad dash- till the end. I'm just trying to pass, survive, and thrive without stressing or severely killing my health.

But lately I've had a deeper longing and wonder at Jesus and spiritual things as well as my own life at hole. A month ago I was gifted with the book "Desire of Ages" and I've been reading...

I never read Ellen White as a child or even younger teen because I felt she was fake or constantly being thrown into my face. I said that I preferred to stick to the Bible, I never gave her a chance though. I just didn't want her, didn't need her, I thought.

But lately spiritual things in my life have been almost like binge eating. One day I'm whining at God and trying to watch Netflix while texting on my phone and the next I'm avidly scavenging through EGW, listening to prophecy sermons, and trying to understand the last day events. I haven't been up on a mountain lately. But it's not a valley either. Somewhere in between in the middle- which to me- honestly that's one of the scariest places to be, especially when it comes to salvation issues.

This post has no resolution like many of my others. It's just a check up. I do encourage you though to read Ellen White if you never have- to give her a chance- in actuality, give God a chance to work through her. Her readings have given me light in a time of darkness and a new awakening to this world and what it offers.

I hope your doing well this holiday season- that in the midst of shopping and exams and relatives you haven't seen- that you look up to the heavens and talk to your best friend Jesus.

P.S. I've been working on a new missionary website with some resources for people who want to go serve and things I've learned in global community development classes. It's still in progress but you can check it out at missionarywoman.com

airplanes

I love airplanes!  More than the flight itself, busy airplanes, or free peanuts- I love ascending. Love that feeling when you hear the plane's engine revving  into the air and you see your world, your own surroundings become clouded. You know that in a short amount of time you will be somewhere totally different, new surroundings, new people, new place. Goodbye old place, it's a brand new adventure waiting to happen.

For me airplanes bring back memories.. that first time when I was a naïve 16 year old going off to live at boarding academy in Colorado.. or the time I went to Korea with two of my best friends to teach English and travel for 3 weeks.. the time I went to Peru for a year to work as a missionary. Man- good times- I am so abundantly and infinitely blessed.

And as I look out the window seeing buildings that soon become as tiny as aunts and mountains and oceans come into view.. I have to put on my beats (best headphones ever) and whisper Thank you Lord! Thank you; thank you; thank you Father!

This Thanksgiving I flew next to my brother- which is an answer to prayer because I never imagined I would be so blessed to go to school with my best friend. But together we flew- to Colorado- land of the beautiful mountains to meet my family and spend Thanksgiving up in Aspen. Tomorrow we're going snowboarding and tonight we're cuddling up next to a fire.

Airplanes remind me that God is big- He's bigger than my dreams, than my imagination, than my knowledge can comprehend. Even when I can't understand what He's doing in my life, in time, He will show me that it is good.

I challenge you this holiday season to slow down and praise God; trust God. We all have insecurities, challenges in our life that threaten to stress us out- but God whispers to us- a million ways every day "I'm holding you." "I'm the King of your world."

I'm so thankful for airplanes. Thankful for family who sit down and eat together every meal; thankful my family lets me cook for them haha; and thankful that it's supposed to snow tomorrow. But most importantly I'm thankful I know Jesus and His peace this season and I want to share that joy of knowing Him with the people around me.

Whitney

As I went to work today, heart heavy full of thoughts of Whitney- a beautiful, vivacious girl, I wished life could stop. That the world would mercifully pause so the everyone (or at least our Christian campus) could pray for this beautiful 21 year old girl who was losing her life! But as I walked into the gym, the TV's showed the news, sports, and a comedy show and guys lifted weights huffing and puffing. I wanted to scream to the world.. Wake up she's dying! Do you not know? Whitney is not ok! She needs prayer! She needs help.

Wake up! Wake up!

Stop what your doing. Turn off the tv. Stop listening to music, memorizing more drugs, trying to ace your test. Pause for a minute. Pray for a friend.

But not just for my friend Whitney. It's not just her. It's this world- friends. Jesus must be coming soon for surely sin has caused such devastation.

Compassion overload has caused us to close our eyes and act as if we don't care. We feel invincible- that disease will not plague our own skin and bones. We walk around blindfolded until it finally hits us..
Then sit stunned as we watch the people around us walk as stone soldiers and do nothing to help. Yet what can they do.

Friends we must open our eyes and start loving our brothers and sisters today.
Friends we must understand that Jesus is coming soon.
Friends we must get our oil because the time of Jesus' return is near.

Although Whitney is sick physically and needs your prayers desperately, all of us are sick mentally. We are all plagued by sin and selfishness. We must pray for Christ's healing. First in the life of Whitney so a miracle can be done in her and second in our own lives for a revival.

Waiting here

Hosea 12:6 Therefore, return to your God, Observe kindness and justice, And wait for your God continually.

Waiting has always been one of the hardest things for me to learn. Especially as I strive to be a girl who is full of grace- I see the importance of self-control and patience.

One of my dear friends represents this character of grace so well. She is calm, slow to speak and act, but always ready to listen. She knows the word of God but waits for the Spirit to share it. She is gentle but full of poise and beauty. She knows how to wait...

But do I? I struggle so much..

It seems I'm good at moving, at doing things, getting things done and I'm not so good at having to sit still, having to quiet down, having to wait on God.

But then I hear God asking me "Brooke have you really been waiting on me?..
Because I've been waiting on you.

Wait you God?
You were waiting on me? The God of the Universe was waiting on me?

And I heard the King say yes because I love you.
I knew you had to be ready.

Then God I asked.. if you were waiting for me- who was I waiting for?

Sometimes I think that we find ourselves asking God for something or a specific petition instead of waiting for His guidance and character.

That we could perhaps be searching for a trinket or a prize instead of the glory of the Father.

That we may desire healing or a gift when instead Christ's presence is far abundant to meet our every need.

If we would look for Him; if we would wait on Him- ready to see His presence- then He could reveal Himself to us.

God I am so sorry for the times when I have been asking you for a thing instead of asking to know you more. For you alone are more than enough to meet every need. I want to seek your presence more than any other thing.

Short Term Missions

This year I have a new job which is titled "Uquest leader" for campus ministries. My job is to plan a "poverty alleviation/ transformational development experience" which will include equipping college students with information about world issues and taking them on a short term "mission trip" to Nicaragua.

I've been reading the book "Helping without Hurting in short term missions" with Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert. I definitely recommend reading the book if you are a missions junkie, wanting to spend time abroad, or even wanting to attend a short term trip to "save the children." It is definitely eye opening and a painful but necessary read.

According to Corbett, short term mission trips have been quite the common trend aka voluntourism with around 2,200,000 people sent as short term missionaries to "save the world" in 2000 and rates still rising*. It is estimated that approximately 2.2 billion dollars is spent on short term trips every year*. If it could be shown that significant improvements had been made because of this money being spent or people being led to Christ who had never heard the Gospel, that would be one thing. But the terrible news is that many of these mission trips are doing more harm than good.

Let me address a few typical problems.

1. Short term participants often do not understand the language of the country they are traveling too to visit. Without understanding the language how can they bond with the local people? Must they hire translators? Will they be able to understand and learn the culture without knowing how to communicate?

2. Short term participants often GIVE free goods. They bring presents thinking they are saving the world, all the while destroying the communities' local businesses as well as pride. Americans often go to visit thinking they know what's best. But when free clothes are dumped it takes out the need for the villages to shop and barter. They are then encouraged not to work hard for their money but to beg and ask for more. No wonder when they see a white person they can't help but ask "Prestame... Give me.. please." No more. The free goods must stop. There is a difference between relief and emergency providence (after natural emergencies) and giving to the poverty trap.

3. Short term participants waste A TON of money. If the money they spent going on their trip could be given directly for the community to invest in education, infrastructure, health or create more local jobs, it could go so far. But instead trips of 40 people often spend 40,000 solely on airfare before even getting to the country they desire to help. Then there is the fact that so often participants on trips have no skills in the area they are assigned to work. For instance what is the point in charging $2000 per high school student to send them on a construction and VBS trip when in reality 85% of them have never done construction before in their life and will be slow not to mention miserable in the sun. Have they ever volunteered for VBS in their local church or is it just the glory of international service and tourism that interests them?

4. Short term participants develop a false view of the world and sense of pride. This is something I personally have a hard time with. I grew up wanting to help people and somehow my first mission trip I learned that I could do something small to change the world. The problem is not my attitude towards helping the problem is the attitude I begin to develop that I think I know the answers or that I can be someone else's hero when in reality I am "poor" too and Christ alone can save us all. We think we have all the answers for other countries or families' poverty. In reality unless we have done tons of research on the history of their community and spent time getting to know them personally, we have no idea what specific needs we could actually help meet.

I'm not saying we should just throw all efforts at helping people around the world out the window. What I am saying is we need to evaluate the actual impact so many short term mission trips are making. We need to research how to better invest our money to help not hurt people who are struggling with poverty. We need to seek to understand by learning from the people of different communities instead of coming in with our own game plans of what we think needs to be done.