I will not let go until you bless me.
Though this may hurt like hell, your blessing is better then life itself so I will cling to your promises."
When is the last time you told God that you would go through whatever it takes- to rise with Him on the other side? That nothing on this earth- pain or darkness or fear- could separate your from the relationship you have.
Meet Jacob. And meet the God who writes beautiful stories- using even the hard things in life and our falling-outs to demonstrate His glory and faithfulness.
Born of Rebecca and Isaac- parents who were brought together under God's provision and providence- Jacob was the slightly younger twin of Esau. It is thought that Jacob was a quieter, momma's boy and Esau was a woodsy- hunter who Isaac adored.
Unfortunately this Christian family suffered from some major chaos, disruption, and brokenness when Jacob tricked Esau into giving him his birth right for a cup of soup and later deceived his very own father by stealing Esau's blessing. This literally split the family in two- and Esau was angry ready to kill Jacob- so Jacob ran away.
Jacob is now threatened for his very life by his brother. He has broken himself off from his family. He knows God and yet knows He has messed up yet God doesn't leave Him there a fugitive and promises to protect Him and bless Him. God leads him to a women in Paddan Aram- who he is forced to work 7 years for- and then another 7 for Rachel. It seems Rachel and Jacob are madly in love. Jacob continues to work for Rachel and Leah's father Laban for a while, and start a family, before Jacob gathers his possessions (as well as many spotted lambs) and leaves the country.
Jacob knows that He has promised Him great blessings, land, and family if he goes back to his own country. Yet He knows that he has baggage he needs to figure out. He knows that he will encounter Esau on his journey and he is terrified.
Jacob may have been walking with God, and doing the right things for a while now, many years have passed. But that doesn't take away the shame, guilt, and fear Jacob feels. He still remembers the day he deceived his family out of selfishness. Longing for God, he is deeply afraid and feels darkness all around him.
When He meets an angel in the most likely way...
While Jacob spent night in his camp alone battling the voices and lies in his head, a strange man approached him and began to fight. They wrestled til day break- so probably all night long- many hours through exhaustion and pain. And then the man touched the socket of his hip wrenching his hip bone and said "Let me go now since it's daybreak." Yet because the man had revealed divine power Jacob replied in faith "I will not let you go until you bless me." Jacob wasn't afraid anymore for he had been fighting his demons, and fears, and darkness all night long. But He hadn't been doing it alone. He'd been fighting his own battles and fighting with an angel. And He had the faith to say..
faith to say..
I won't give up now.
You've brought me this far. You've changed my life- God. You've done miracles and revealed to me who you are. So even though you've crushed my hip, I'm not letting go of you.
And Jacob is deeply rewarded for his faith for He knows God. And He is given a new name Israel and blessed. It turns out that God goes with Jacob to help heal his family and Jacob gets to watch his kids grow up raised with the promises of land and prosperity and blessing.
-- But friends Jacob isn't just a man who knew God in the good times- Jacob is someone who knew God in the war zones, in the darkness, in the hard times--
What does it mean for you and me that Jacob wrestled with an angel of God and overcame? That God rewarded Jacob's struggle and perseverence and how do we cling to God when life gets hard for us?
Look around you, at Christians after college, and you will see many compromising, many falling away from the church. And I have to question if it's because we were never taught how to wrestle. How to wrestle in those hard moments, how to stand in the face of pain or darkness, how to be conquerors not just victims.
Do we believe that whatever the enemy is tricking us with- what the enemy means for evil- God can turn into good?
Do we know how to fight our battles by claiming God's promises?
Do we grab hold of Christ even in the midst of the wrestling match?
Friends, I want to know how to wrestle with God and not lose Him. I want to learn how to live uncompromising in a world that tempts me to give up on the principles of my faith and God's holiness.
