Saturday, December 31, 2016

Are New Years Resolutions worth it?

In church today the pastor said he didn't believe in New Years Resolutions. He said if you wanted change bad enough you would have started the day you desired the change. But I don't agree with him. I believe that YOU SHOULD MAKE NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS. Here are 5 reasons why I believe in NYR's.

1. Jesus teaches us to dream big and pray harder. When we make resolutions we are hoping for the future. We are giving ourselves permission to write down some dreams and goals- some objects to strive for and to pray for.

2. Writing NYR's requires us to evaluate where we are currently. If we write down we want to lose 25lbs it makes us realize that our fitness and health is out of whack and we desire to treat ourselves better. NYRs take away the excuses and let us personally and honestly admit some ways we have fallen short the past year.

3. Lack to plan is a plan to fail. We need a plan. We need to think about where we want to go in life and have the courage to start in a new direction. New Years Eve gives us that excuse we need to make a plan and change our life.

4. It only takes one New Years Resolution that you meet and fulfill to change your life forever. What if you DID that New Years Resolution where you drank 8 cups of water? You would literally change your physical health. You are striving to do all of them but even if you do one.. You didn't fail. Surely you did better than if you never wrote them at all.

5. Studies show that people who write down relevant goals are four times more likely to accomplish the goal than someone who doesn't.

As Benjamin Button writes "For what it's worth it's never too late or in my case too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life your proud of. If you find that your not I hope you have the courage to start all over again."

Monday, December 26, 2016

Home & Homeless

I had a WONDERFUL Christmas this year! So thankful to see many family members and enjoy time in Illinois.Tonight I arrived to my Okie house and I must admit I have to sigh... I LOVE visiting family I LOVE traveling but there is never no place like home.

A home is more than just a building, a country, a place but it's where memories are built and stories are told. I have many homes not just one because once you have a house somewhere it will always be a part of your heart for you have lived life in that place.

Tonight I wonder about Jesus's house- or really his home. The Bible doesn't speak a lot about Jesus's bedroom and where he rested. We know that he wasn't born in a real house- but a stable- and that he was raised in his home til around 14,15 years maybe.

In Luke 9:58 Jesus said "Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Before this verse a scribe was asking to follow Jesus and Jesus is now telling him part of the cost and sacrifice of being his disciple. Jesus was functionally homeless.

Imagine being a homeless person for Jesus in this day and age. It would be irresponsible and even churches wouldn't welcome it. They would say "buy an apartment, be responsible, take care of yourself before you try to minister to others." Jesus was not conventional. He didn't care about the earthly kingdom. He didn't want to establish a home for himself. He didn't need earthly security for he had the heavenly King.

I wonder if Jesus ever longed for the comfort of his own bed, his own food of choice, his own house. Whether at times he was tempted or not, it is evident that he was so busy blessing others he hardly had time to miss out. He was constantly traveling, constantly healing, constantly teaching, reaching out and God provided his earthly needs to him and the disciples as they had faith.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016


There's a verse that almost haunts me these last couple days and it's a verse I committed to memory a while ago that goes like this "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." (Psalm 19:14)

It's a verse that challenges the very core of who I am. The verse that calls to a higher standard. For this verse says it's not enough to act nice like a Christian, it's not enough even to talk kindly at all times, but that God expects my thoughts to be pure and holy.

This verse is when I start to see the ten commandments in a new light and I fall prostrate on my face before a King and plead "I'm a dirty scandal Father save me from this selfish body." Christ calls us to mature and grow in Him and He judges our most inward thoughts that no one else can see nor understand.

But then the Lord reminds me of Psalm 119:9 which I had written across my dorm whiteboard which states "How can a young man (woman) keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word."

When I look at the world around me these days I see a lot of terrifying things. I see a lot of hatred, a lot of envy, pain, I see impurity. I see the Devil prowling about like a roaring lion seeking to devour men with his pleas of sexual immorality, lust, and pornography. But the Devil doesn't just target men who God created to be spiritual leaders but He makes woman selfish, destroys trust, creates fantasies and idols, teaches us lies that destroy and degrade value. The Devil knows that our thoughts create our actions, and our actions pattern to form our habits, and our habits eventually become what we are known by (character).

This is why Christ says we must be reborn. From the inside out, He must strip away the old and make us new and whole and pure. When God creates us, there will still be scars and marks from the past, but there will be an unmarked freedom, a change of character. And we must also expect a change of thoughts. But how can we be like Christ when Satan is out to get us and this world is a cold place. How can we be like Christ friends if we are not in the Word of God?

John 17:17 says "Make them holy (or sanctify them) by your truth; your word is truth. The Devil is a scandal and we know He is full of lies. But Christ's love has the power to release us from any negative or unpure thoughts. This Christmas I challenge you to get into the Word of God and pray for His Spirit to come and dwell in your hearts filling you up so that no evil can remain within you. Friends we must prepare, we must come to Jesus to be cleansed, for soon and very soon we are going to see the King.

My Jesus and Santa Clause

You hear a lot about two of my friends this Christmas season and at first glance they seem to have a lot in common.

1. Both are loved, dwelled upon, and drawn attention too more in the Christmas season.
2. Both bring promises of gifts to ALL people regardless of age, race, or culture.
3. Both are thought of as "good", kind, loving, and sacrificial.
4. Both have their pictures on gift packages and bags, cookies, and calendars.
5. You can talk to both by writing letters or having a little faith, believing in your heart.

I often wonder if Satan likes it when we think of Santa Clause and Jesus side by side at Christmastime. When the movie shows the Christmas Eve church service and then Santa Clause comes the next day making every dream come true.. when we think of the fables and tales Hallmark channel shares it makes the Great Controversy seem a little far away. 

I mean love always wins on Christmas day right? When we give the poor presents? And we gather round the Christmas tree to play dirty Santa and steal all the gifts. We stuff our faces with food and enjoy gluttony, greed, and a little lusting after our neighbors gifts.. of course there's always room for a little more family gossip.

Satan doesn't mind if we get a little festive this year. It doesn't bother him if we celebrate the season with gifts, and lights... The manger seen may threaten him a little but then he places a giant Snoopy dog next door.

Satan hopes we'll watch movies with our family, drain our money buying gifts we don't need, filling our hearts with fake promises of romance and holiday bliss.. because he knows when Christmas day is over and after Santa comes- reality will strike again.

The bickering, the children's whines, not getting the presents they deserved, the fatness from eating too much, and the promise that wasn't fulfilled leaves a Christmas depression and a sad truth: that we didn't find Jesus any more than ever on Christmas day.

Even after the Christmas story is read and the holiday carols preach peace and joy to all men... is it possible that we can sing the songs, read the stories, and attend the services year after year just to miss our on experiencing who Jesus really is. Is it possible that after Christmas day many people end with a lot more gifts and yet a lot less love and hope for the second coming in their heart. And this my friends is what Satan wants. Satan doesn't mind Christmas these days because Christmas is no longer about Christ it's about me, it's about you, gifts under the tree, things we want, and fantasies that will never become reality.

Lord Jesus, save Christmas.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

nursing level 3 complete

Today with much prayer, I took and passed with flying colors my adult 2 nursing final which means 3 out of 4 levels are now complete! I am so beyond grateful to God and amazed at the way He has been helping me do nursing school- something I never imagined trying.

It's crazy to think that one year ago I was the level 1 nursing student who couldn't sleep because she was so nervous about clinicals and could hardly watch others put in an iv.

2 years ago I was in the hospital room with my dad vowing never to work in such a dirty place and that I couldn't touch anything- especially the incentive spirometer.

And 3 years ago I was in a country far away where I promised God He could have every part of my life including my career, dreams, and fears. And I found myself in a clinic crying as the doctor asked me to learn to give my first shot...

Today, I thank God because I know that I am only passing because of His grace. I can only overcome my own fears with His strength. And soon I will be a nurse because He promises to faithfully complete the good works that He starts in us. And now I am SO excited to be a nurse. I want to take care of sick kids and babies, help moms get pregnant, and help orphanage children across the world.

If God is calling you to do something crazy that you are afraid of, unprepared or unqualified for, I encourage you to do it. Because when you do that thing that "you" can't do it enables God to put His power in you to do it and your trust in Him grows so much! I will never regret the year I spent in Peru learning to trust God more and I don't regret the journey through health science and trying to search out what major I should do. Because God was working in my heart, working in my life, and He knows the perfect timing and the perfect way and His plans are ALWAYS better than ours.

Friday, December 9, 2016

Christmas lights

It's amazing what some little white Christmas lights can do to change up an entire apartment. It can make you see the whole place differently, change the atmosphere. Then we bring in a tree- fresh and green- it's magnificent and beautiful. You just find yourself wanting to dwell, wanting to be a part of the season.

Sometimes we just need a small light to help us carry on. It's amazing what one person can spark in the hearts of another- with kind touch, genuine prayers, a little love. It really can be miraculous when we choose to represent Christ with the little things.

These days you really can't take your friends for granted. They are some of the most valuable people in the world- they have the power to make you feel like gold or trash. And I'm thankful for the friendships I have been developing this year- especially in nursing. After a hard test, nothing is better than hugs and hot tea. Friendships take efforts and sacrifice though- that's a lesson I'm learning. Especially when life gets busy, long distance happens, true and genuine friendships don't come without work.

Christmas is an opportunity for generosity- for thanking friends and family. In between finals and all, I had some fun making a few homemade gifts this year with jars, glitter, ribbons, pine cones, and bells. It doesn't have to be about the gift or the money- it's more the thought that counts. You'd be surprised what a little effort could mean to someone whose lonely. This holiday people seem just a little more open for love and acceptance. Everyone's looking for light- will they see you?

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Just my life

It's been a long time since I've written. And that's mostly due to the recent whirlwinds of feelings going on in my head. I can't adequately focus and honestly portray what I've been experiencing.

Thanksgiving break was lovely- a good time with family and friends spent in Colorado. It was a blessing. I thank God for my family and wait for the day when I will be a mom and in some way try to follow the teachings my family has given me on how to raise a child in the way of Christ.

 School is busy- it wasn't too bad until after break. Now it's a three week- now only week and a half mad dash- till the end. I'm just trying to pass, survive, and thrive without stressing or severely killing my health.

But lately I've had a deeper longing and wonder at Jesus and spiritual things as well as my own life at hole. A month ago I was gifted with the book "Desire of Ages" and I've been reading...

I never read Ellen White as a child or even younger teen because I felt she was fake or constantly being thrown into my face. I said that I preferred to stick to the Bible, I never gave her a chance though. I just didn't want her, didn't need her, I thought.

But lately spiritual things in my life have been almost like binge eating. One day I'm whining at God and trying to watch Netflix while texting on my phone and the next I'm avidly scavenging through EGW, listening to prophecy sermons, and trying to understand the last day events. I haven't been up on a mountain lately. But it's not a valley either. Somewhere in between in the middle- which to me- honestly that's one of the scariest places to be, especially when it comes to salvation issues.

This post has no resolution like many of my others. It's just a check up. I do encourage you though to read Ellen White if you never have- to give her a chance- in actuality, give God a chance to work through her. Her readings have given me light in a time of darkness and a new awakening to this world and what it offers.

I hope your doing well this holiday season- that in the midst of shopping and exams and relatives you haven't seen- that you look up to the heavens and talk to your best friend Jesus.

P.S. I've been working on a new missionary website with some resources for people who want to go serve and things I've learned in global community development classes. It's still in progress but you can check it out at