As I paced back and forth in my room, I listed my problems for God.
(Go ahead- list yours right now, anything that's going on that you feel like you can't handle. Tell him everything and how you really feel.)
As I named my battles I heard the Lord ask me "Brooke do you trust me?"
My first response was Yes Lord of course I trust you
Just like Peter in the garden, yes Lord of course I love you
But then I stopped and I understood what He was trying to tell me
Oh God I don't trust you.
Oh Lord my anxiety has clouded my heart from belief.
Oh Lord I do not believe but I want to. Please help my unbelief.
And I began to hear the Lord question me.
Do you know who I am?
Have you seen the way I laid the earth's foundation?
Have you seen the Ocean that I created and the way I calm the storms with just my voice?
Did you create the light that has dominion over darkness?
Do you take care of the wildflowers and every creature? Do you know their destiny?
Brooke, how could you forget?
I have called you and you are mine. I have called you to nursing not to fail you.
But so that you may glorify me.
I have a plan and a purpose for you.
You see so often I am just like an Israelite traveling to the Promised land.
I am following God, I am serving Him. When all of a sudden persecutions or challenges arise and I immediately feel overwhelmed and succumbed and grumble to the Lord why have you called me out to die?
Deuteronomy 1: 26 "But you were unwilling to go up; you rebelled against the command of the Lord your God. You grumbled in your tents and said 'The Lord hates us; so he brought us out o Egypt to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us.' Where can we go? Our brothers have made our hearts melt in fear. They say 'The people are stronger and taller than we are; the cities are large, with walls up to the sky. We even saw the Anakites there.'
"Then I said to you, "Do not be terrified; do not be afraid o them. The Lord your God who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the wilderness. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a Father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place."
In spite of this you did not trust in the Lord your God, who went ahead of you on your journey, in fire by night and in a cloud by day, to search out places for you to camp and to show you the way you should go."
Friends, we must not lose confidence or hope for the Lord our God is taking us to a land flowing with milk and honey. His glory will be revealed through us if we persevere through trials and afflictions for His name.
As children of the light, people are looking to us for direction and we have the opportunity to be representatives for Christ even in our darkest days. "If a man cannot prove his religion in the valley, it is not worth anything" but when we can sing praise songs to Christ though we feel we are drowning in the middle of the sea, others may find courage to persevere through their trials as well.
So let us not be shaken. Let us not lose heart. The Lord is good and He is coming soon to take us home!