Thursday, November 26, 2015

saying thank you

Do they know I'm thankful for them?
Does he know how much I love him?
Do they know how much they have changed my life?

Of course there's my family: my rock. The people who yell together, chase each other around the house, work out together, go on way too long road trips where they declare that we dislike each other... But my family is beautiful and I love them to death. I do nothing to show them the abundance of love I have for them. My family has been with me from the beginning when I was a fearless little girl who talked to strangers, to a self-conscious and determined middle school who refused to talk to boys, a young adventurer who went away to boarding academy and Peru, and a heart broken lover of orphans only wanting to save the world in her naive and jaded heart.

My mom- a river of love, hope, and joy. "Every day is a good day, she says. Happy day happy day." Nothing can shake her joy or kindness, the way she gives everything she has for anyone with the smallest need. She gives until she has no more and has invested in my life in so many ways I can no way repay her for what she has done for me or for anyone else.

My father- a brave fierce man of God who has taught me to think before acting, to stop before speaking and to understand that not all things are as they appear. He has taught me to be brave and how to love even when you may be hurt at the same time.

My brother Jeremy- a man who puts me in my place, tells me when I am being selfish and stupid yet never fails to catch me when I am broke. The boy I have grown up playing hide and go seek, ninjas, swimming, and camping with.

My friends- A girl who has taught me how to speak and say what I want to say- that life isn't always easy- but that there is always something to laugh about.

A girl who has shown me what it means to have a best friend, to be chosen, to be a sister for once in my life, to be the in crowd, to understand what it means to have someone who will be by your side and embrace femininity. She taught me how to cry and how to feel, how to laugh and eat chocolate in a better way.

A girl who has shown me the perseverance of waking up every morning to study her Bible and pray- a woman of wisdom and digression who chooses Christ over the pleasures of this world and is not afraid to stand up for the Kingdom.

I have so many close friends, so many people who I count close to my heart. So many friends each in different parts of the world who have impacted my life in so many ways. People who have taught me so many lessons, loved me in so many deep places, blessed my life in so many ways. Truly they are God's greatest gift.

I'm not a girl that uses lavishing words, nor buys many gifts, nor always speaks in the most encouraging words. Occasionally my bluntness can hurt those closest to me the much. But this thanksgiving I have to think about my inner circle. Do they know how much I love them? Do they know that I would do anything for them?

I think my goal for the next month is to show these people, to show some of them how much they mean to me and how they have changed my life. I want to tell them thank you...

Somehow I want to learn to love better, to show how much I care better. I don't want to be too afraid to love vulnerably. Time is short and I want to be there for my people so I will start by telling them thank you..


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