Wednesday, September 30, 2015

To the people who see

Have you ever noticed that there are 2 kinds of people?

People who see and people who always seem to miss it.. They look away at just the right time conveniently every time you look for them.

Whether they are too distracted by something going on in their own life, too busy, or don't actually care to give you the time of day.. they miss the fact that you are breathing and alive too. They make you feel invisible, inadequate, unworthy, self conscious; they hurt you without even realizing it. They may say sorry but you know they could care less. We all will meet people like this. People who don't see our need, who misuse our potential, who make us feel unloved...

But have you ever met someone who sees? Yes my child, I'm sure that you have. You have met someone who has made you smile and laugh when you are in the grumpiest mood. You have met that one lady who held your hand when all of life seemed to flash before your eyes and told you to take deep breaths and that everything would be ok. You have met the guy that asked you "How are you?" and actually stopped to listen and even pray with you after you answered. You have met them... and they are the individuals who have changed your life. One occurence after the other they have given you hope of something better, of something purer, or something deeper and rarer. They have given you a glimpse of the man they call Jesus.

To the one who saw people beyond their appearances but looked into their hearts. Who saw their wounds and was not daunted by their dangerous pasts, but chose to heal and forgive them. To the man who gave His all for a people who betrayed him because He loved them even though they were unworthy of love... To the man who taught us to see.

Every day we make a decision to see or to close our eyes, to look away. Sometimes seeing hurts; othertimes it's just an inconvenience. Yet God says that if we want to follow Him, we must let Him teach us to see again. To see all of life differently, from His perspective.

In John 3:3 Jesus answered "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." We must pray for Jesus to open our eyes, so that we can see beyond the surface. So that we can see people for who they are and what their needs may be, so we can see the true character of Christ, and so that we can see the signs of His second coming and the miracles He does for us. Lord Jesus, open our eyes and let us see like you.

To the people who see: thank you. Thank you for showing me Jesus.

Friday, September 25, 2015

One miracle after another

I tried to be someone's superhero today
and I realized how much I needed you
Because you are the only Superhero worth giving my life too

I realize I'm back on my knees again
Needing to be rescued
And you carried me to Your table
Once again, one miracle after the other,
You provided my daily bread

And though I'm not pain- free
My heart's joy found
Because I know you and You are beautiful
Your love is healing
It's like a rushing river
That washes me through and through

I don't know what your making me into
I don't know how I'm going to do it
How I'm going to survive so many days on this pain-stricken thing
we call earth

But I know that I am loved
I know that I have purpose
I know that I have a healer
I know that I have a potter
And I know that you won't give me more than I can handle
And that through it all you will prove faithful

Providing me with one miracle after another just like you've shown me before
So Lord grant me authentic faith
Teach me how to pray
Teach me how to weep for you and your Kingdom down on my knees
Teach my heart how to feel again
How to care for others more than myself
Change my heart into something vulnerable, tender, and warm
For me to serve you, Lord, I'll need another miracle again

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Worst Day Ever

"Come to me all you who are tired and are carrying heavy loads and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

I don't know when the last time was when you had one of those days...
You know those days when everything possible seems to go wrong.
Almost getting in a car accident, injuring your foot, getting pooped on by a squirrel, thudding to the ground in the middle of your pilates class LOL..

I was having a terrible, no good very bad day... then I went to work in the Hulsey and I watch this cute chubby five year old girl skip into the gym and I watch her fall flat on her face. My immediate response was "oh honey your day is alot like mine, poor thing". But then I watched her jump back up quicker than lightening and yell "I'm ok; I'm ok". I followed her into the bathroom where her mom checked out her bloody legs and she gleefully yelled "Nope it doesn't hurt; they feel just fine.".

Her stubbornness and perseverance made me smile and rethink my daily tribulations.
What do you do when things don't go your way?
What is your response when you trip and everyone is watching
How deep does your faith go? Can you praise God even when you are afraid, in pain, struggling, facing trials?

Sometimes when having a bad day I long for someone to just hold me in their arms and promise me that everything is going to be ok. It may seem cliche, but Jesus is the only person who can truly identify with our struggles, love us deeply, fill our heart, and assure us of his neverending presence. He says Let me help you with your worst day ever. Let me hold you when you are afraid. Let me fill your heart with the peace that only I can offer and with the joy that can make you laugh at the worst days of life.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Be still my anxious soul

Be still my soul be still...

Be still. There is a healer. His love is deeper than the sea. His mercy, it is unfailing. His arms a fortress for the weak.

Let faith arise..

I lift my hands to believe again. That you are my fortress, you are my strength. As I pour out my heart, these things I remember, you are faithful God forever. *Chris Tomlin

Every day I struggle with anxiety.
I fight the desire to control my own life.
To plan out my week, my semester, my year, and my future plans
When God looks at me and says My daughter I've got this.
I have better plans for you.

Peace. He whispers to me.
It's my gift.
Will you not open it beneath it's golden ribbons?
Peace He says. It's my signature.
My mercy and peace perfectly gift my love for you.

I desire to not go through my days checking off a list.
Or worrying about receiving a perfect grade
But delighting in the Law of my King
Writing His love letters in my heart
And waiting in the peace of His hands

Phillipians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything but my prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.

Friday, September 11, 2015

"missionary girl"

I say I want to be a missionary, and I do. Maybe you do too. But I dare say it is alot easier to say you want to be a missionary then to be a missionary. Likewise it may seem easier to be Jesus to Africans when you are in Africa than it is to be Jesus to Americans when you are in America. And yet somehow and praise God, we are called to serve where we are.

So what do you like about mission work? The adventure, the traveling, the new people you meet, the new experiences- yes that's awesome I agree. It can be alot of fun.
What are other things you love about mission work though deeper reasons? For me, I love real relationships, playing with children, mentoring, getting to help people who are hurting. And by golly .... we can do that here in America! So why don't I do more?

So I just started my nursing program and two things I am so astounded with: is 1. the spirituality of the nursing program at Southern and having teachers hug you and tell you they pray for you and 2. how wholistic the nursing profession is. We are actually trained in how to analyze the spiritual, sociocultural, development, physiological, and psychological- which I think is pretty amazing because I am all about this wholistic health stuff. The thing that keeps coming back to me is "everything is spiritual". Like all of the classes I am surrounded with this semester are constantly reminding me that literally everything on this earth that we do should be about God whether that be playing softball games or giving bed baths...

Bed Baths- Oh my! So I am freaking out! I had no idea how much of nursing here in America is giving bed baths lol like my natural response to these disgusting and totally awkward things is to cover my eyes or run out of the room praying and screaming. So I'm like No no no. And our teachers have mentioned how we must learn how to find dignity and love people through these things. So I'm like Wow.. this is going to be interesting and sketchy and everything else terrible and exciting in between.

So I guess my question is how do I love someone through giving them a bed bath? Or how do I love someone through giving them a shot or taking their blood pressure? And while I'm at it how do I learn to love the other students around me in a way that doesn't intimidate them but is real and genuine. So I guess I'm like Jesus I want to be a missionary here where I'm at. I want to be that "missionary girl" who not only travels but who loves people. So Jesus please teach me how to love!

Thursday, September 3, 2015

enough for me

Jesus will you be enough for me?
Will you be the Everything I need
Will you be my cornerstone again
Even though I'm far from perfect 10

Jesus can it really be true
Can I find full satisfaction in you
I don't have to impress or pretend
Because your love for me is already a win

When I'm at my worst
When I've ruined it all
When I'm on the ground
After the face first fall

Will you alone be enough
Will you get me through
Will you pick me up
Can I count on you

Why do you love me the way you do?
It makes no sense to me.
But I'm falling for you.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015


Yesterday I was playing short stop in softball, one of my most favorite all time games when a bouncy ball came up unexpectedly and smacked me in the chin. It hit me hard in the best place possible leaving only four little marks almost like little lion lines. But if the ball would have gone just a little bit higher or to the side it would have either knocked out my teeth, busted my jaw, or something quite terrible.

Before practice, I had prayed for God's protection and maybe you find it funny that I'm thankful about being hit by a softball. But trust me sports are dangerous and mouth injuries are not cool. In the Bible it says that all good gifts are from the Lord, so I'm going to thank God for His protection over me.

Sometimes though I have to wonder about prayer: like when does God step in and intercede for us? And maybe your thinking Well whenever He wants too... Sure I agree, but doesn't God always want to help His children?

Then like what if someone forgets to pray? Will God forget to protect them? I think and hope not. Yet will the extra prayer of safety make a difference? I believe somehow so.

Once in Peru one of my good teachers got sick with Dengue fever. She asked my friend and I to pray for her. We got distracted with mission work and life (and I know this is horrible!) but we forgot. It happens ok. I know you are guilty too of forgetting to pray for someone.... Well four days later this beautiful woman named Carmen died.

Imagine the guilt we had, the sorrow, the shock. But it really made me wonder. What if? What if I prayed? Could I have made a difference? Could my prayers have saved a life?

Go back to the Garden of Gethsemane that day when Jesus needed His disciples prayer, and yet they were sleeping. Would their prayers have changed the situation and helped Christ? Jesus asked them to pray for a reason..

He asks us to pray for our Father and Jesus even prays for us! Isn't that crazy? I can't even wrap my head around that. Why would Jesus pray for us? It must be important. Prayer must be powerful. Just imagine if God's people prayed, really prayed. How could prayer change our lives? How could prayer help our friends and help the world?

2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

Jesus teach us how to pray.