Psalm 107:8 says "Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men!"
I am so in awe of God and how the Holy Spirit has been working in my life recently. God has really provided for every single need I have. And as I seek Him, He has been filling my life with a deep sense of peace. I want to thank God for a few things that He did for me this weekend, the first of them being- saving my life and a life of a friends'.
My friend and I made a really bad decision this past Friday night. We were trying to keep a fire going that we had started, but the ground was still wet from rain the previous day. We had a little flame but we felt our wood wasn't burning enough, so we decided to pour gasoline on the fire. I know now, it was a terribly dangerous and stupid idea. And yes our gasoline top lit on fire! My friend was holding the can and I yelled and she yelled "Water". I ran as fast as I could- and praise God- there was dog food water all the way full right outside. I poured the water on the gasoline and the fire went out. We were so close to setting the whole house on fire. The crazy thing is it should have started on fire. It probably took 20 seconds to find the water and by that time the gasoline can in its entirety should have blown up and my friend would have been killed. But God saved us. I know He had His angels with us and His hand of protection over us! God saved us because of His mercy and I am so grateful!
God is so good to us and often we don't take the time to count His blessings. But when the Lord does good for us, He wants us to share it with others. I want to share with you a short testimony of how the Lord has been working in my life lately.
"I knew God and wanted to be like Him from a young age. I saw His hand in my life working at a young age. Yet when I got to freshman year in college, I began to feel unsatisfied with my relationship with Christ. I knew more about God then I knew of God. I was lacking true Christian friends and mentors who could help me keep growing. I gave time to God but often He wasn't my priority. I really struggled with the lukewarm Christianity I saw all around me and thought "there has to be more; I want to go deeper".
When I went to Peru, serving was so much harder than I expected because I came face to face with my true identity, weaknesses, and selfishness. Yet I began to find so much joy in truly loving without expecting anything and in forming deep and intimate relationships with the missionaries I had gone with. Peru was a beautiful struggle it was full of wonderful moments of hugging and dancing and just feeling so full of God's mercy but it was also challenging and heart breaking and marked by loneliness and depression.
When I returned to Peru, I was so full of God and I had so much desire to really surrender and serve Him in every part of my life. Yet I was broken and shattered and scarred in so many different ways. Coming back to college first semester, has been extremely difficult for me. Not only extreme culture shock, but I had an enormous difficulty focusing on school and even caring. I didn't feel peace about the major I was pursuing. I also felt so broken and empty as I dealt with struggles and weaknesses I had realized out on the mission field.
Yet although first semester has been such a struggle. God has given me so many gifts to help me live day by day and develop faith in Him. He has given me the best friends and spiritual mentors I could have ever imagined. People whose lives our full of prayer and love so warm and inviting. Never before have I had so many friends that I could talk about Jesus with and we are even memorizing scripture together. God has also given me a little bit of direction about my future and only because of Him I am changing my major to nursing. I know it's bizarre- I never wanted to be a nurse. I hated and still dislike shots and iv's. But I love helping people when they are sick or weak. I also love missions and love how applicable nursing would be and how useful nursing is in different careers around the world. I can become a nurse practitioner, or a PA, or I can get a masters in Global Health. To be honest, being a nurse is going to be very humbling to me. I am quite embarassed about changing my major to nursing- even though there is nothing wrong with nursing- but it's a God thing.
My life is still a mess and maybe it always will be. As I seek God, He reveals to me more things I need to work on and need to learn and un-learn. But I'm just so thankful for God's blesssings and His willingness to change me into a new creation.
I pray that you- if you have never truly surrendered your entire life up to God- your passions and even your fears- that you would trust Christ with those things. God will take care of you and remake you into a totally new Creation in Him. He calls us to surrender every day and He promises us that He will be faithful to work in us and to finish His work in the day of Christ Jesus our Lord.