I've had a really stressful week.
In fact- to be honest with you, I've had a really stressful semester.
Stress is just one thing I haven't overcame yet. I'm working on it and I'm trying. But I put so much pressure on myself to do good at the things I do that I worry more than I need too and often get too worked up about nothing.
What word do you hear me saying alot? ME
See there's a two fold problem with stress and worry. For one it's useless, wastes time, and causes terrible disease in our brain and body. God asks us not to do it. It's the opposite of faith. And two- it makes me think about ME. When I'm worried or stressed I can't be Jesus to the people around me.
Thus worry and stress turn into a SELFISH thing.
A verse that I'm memorizing this week is Titus 3:5
It says "Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saves us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit."
It's not about what we do to find Jesus.. It's not about anything we do. In fact it's not even about ME.
It's about Christ and the Holy Spirit living and working in our hearts and washing us to make us new.
I think so often as Christians we try to save ourselves. We try to do all the right things, have the right friends, make good grades, and tell others about Jesus. We put so much pressure and expectations on ourselves to act like Jesus.
But God says stop. It's not even about you. You can't ever be good enough for me. So stop trying. Stop stressing yourself out trying to do it all. Stop and find me. Just learn my face and my voice and I will be ENOUGH for you. I will fill you and work in you at the perfect time.
Ezekiel 11:19-20 says "Then I will give them one heart and I will put a new spirit within them and take the stony heart out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh that they make walk in My statues and keep my judgement and they shall be my people and I will be their God."
Today I have been worrying so much about this new hospital ministry I'm trying to start. We're going out this week to perform for the kids at the Erlanger Hospital in Tennesse and I'm so nervous about how it's going to go. I have been really worried because I feel like I don't have any real talents, or we are not going to be good enough.
Finally God just spoke to me though and was like "Brooke this isn't your ministry. This is mine." You don't need to worry about it. I will work through you. You can take the pressure off yourself because it's not about you.
To me this has always been a huge struggle "being good enough" but the cool thing God says is "You never will, so stop trying. Praise me for your weaknesses because in those I prove myself faithful. Praise me when everything is going wrong so I can save the day. Praise me because I didn't create you to be perfect. I created you to be a sinner drawn to a Savior. And to me this is so comforting. It's not about me- what I can do or what I can't do for God. It's about Christ's work and the Holy Spirit and I'm so thankful.