Transitioning from Peru back to America, from my family to summer camp, from camp counselor to spiritual director, from summer camp to my house in Bixby, from my house to college.
There are so many variables involved in these transitions: poverty to the American dream; best friends who I've spent the last eight months with to college students I haven't seen in a year; dragging my feet to being a leader; and traveling all the way from Peru, Argentina, and Oklahoma to Southern Tennessee.
I feel a little lost in between all the pieces. Like hey I'm just trying to catch up- give me a break ok ;)
I believe that spending time in missions is the BEST investment I have ever made and will ever make. Because it's an investment in Christ and in service and in evangelism. It's not like "let me go save the world" it's like "let me let Jesus show me what the real world is like and what my naked heart is like." Sooooooo yes my heart is still so focused on travel and human rights and sex trafficking, and Africa, and my orphanage in Peru when I know I must transition yet again to college. And I know that won't be easy. At least at summer camp, you are still serving others, taking care of kids, continuing God's ministry...
So often college seems so egotistical- so self-centered. But I know that God can use us wherever we are and that we can serve God in college and that He can use our classes and a wonderful Christian education to prepare us to better serve Him. Ya ya I know. It's just such a huge change from teaching at schools, and being "doctors" and instructors, and doing literature evangelism.
And then there's the whole fact that I don't even know what exactly I'm studying/ doing. Please don't judge me yet. I know you're writing me off right now (that dumb girl is wasting her money going to college because she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life.. lalalalala missions won't make money. I know) I've heard it all. I need to choose something practical and sustainable.
But what if God isn't calling me to a typical career in America with a great pay check and financial stability? What if God calls me to travel to different countries and take care of children and not have much money? What if I don't have an income? What if I do have to literally rely on God for each and every thing and rely on donors money? Or what if God wants me to work for a nonprofit like World Vision or Compassion International? Or maybe God wants me to be a child life specialist and help children who have terminable diseases in the United States. Or maybe God wants me to do all that haha who knows. I'm waiting on God just like you are waiting on me to respond to your question of "What are you doing with your life? Why are you wasting your money on precious, expensive Adventist education?" And just like you, I don't know what I'm doing. But I do know who I'm following and where He leads me, I will follow. (No vuelve atras. No vuelven atras).
I'm leaving for Chattanooga tomorrow. Soon I will be a college student again at Southern Adventist University.