Monday, June 23, 2014

on my grandma's funeral day

Sometimes when I'm still and everything around me fades out, I wonder when I got here. How did I become the person I am today? When did I choose to live for Jesus so that now I could be spiritual director at my favorite summer camp? When did I gain the strength to spend 8 months as a missionary in Peru?

When I think about the steps and the stages of life that I have gone through, I'm learning that who I am right now has been strongly due to the influences I have had in my life when I was younger as well as my childhood experiences.

Nobody has a perfect family, but I praise God because I have a family that has always encouraged me to grow in Christ. I have a mom who is passionately alive, driven, loving, and caring. I have a dad who is a true man of God: brave, bold, fearless, and never afraid to stand up for someone in need. And I have a grandma who has prayed for me, supported me on mission trips, read me Bible stories, taught me to draw ducks, and told me Jesus loved me everytime we talked on the phone.

5 days ago, my grandma died. This is a grandma I was relatively close to: a grandma who encouraged me in my faith. A grandma who taught me how to pray at the table and bow my head because she said it brought attention to Jesus. A grandma who never ended a phone conversation without asking me: Brooke do you remember how much Jesus loved you?

I love my grandma and I will miss her so much.

About a week and a half ago, I had the opportunity to see my grandma again. I hadn't seen her for over a year. When I talked to her, she was very sick and confused. My brother asked me to share with her my pictures of Peru because he thought she would like it. I didn't want to share my pictures with her right then though. I said I would do it later. I put it off.

Fast forward to now, it's too late to share my pictures with her. I think that's one thing in my life that I will always regret.

I think that if you want to do something in life. If you really care, you will do it now. You will do it soon. You will make your dreams come true, you will fight for what you believe in, you will make who you love first priority in your life.

You might not always have a second chance.

No comments:

Post a Comment