At 10 am today I had a pot banging party with spoons, then my friend Kristen went up into the 50 foot water tower and dropped a water balloon on my head, then I went cloud gazing, afterwards tried juggling various objects, and finally trekked for "a quiet place" into "Lily Valley"- a secret get away we just found where for once there is true peace and quietness. I almost tried to persuade a Peruvian from "Lily Valley" or "Swamp Champ" to use his canoe- but fortunately for me I had a sane friend Kristen convince me it could be dangerous...
Today we were supposed to have swim classes but unfortunately the pool wasn't cleaned- which meant we had to send all the kids back home. I was very frustrated because swim classes are important to me and many of the kids were sad. I had been looking forward to swimming all week.
Right now if I had to describe my life in Peru with three words it would be WAITING, DISSAPOINTMENT, and FRUSTRATION. That sounds harshly negative- and it is- but frankly I'm just being honest. I'm so burnt out, so tired, and so unmotivated--- combine that with the fact that almost any activity we try to do keeps getting canceled for various reasons (clinic, swimming, English classes) and it's very hard to get a PMA (Positive Mental Attitude).
Honestly ever since I've gotten back from vacay, I feel I've been rotting. If you ask me how I'm doing, I'll say ok. Don't bother asking because I don't feel like complaining to you. I'm struggling with a lot of things right now here in Peru including but not limited too learning to wait on God, the desire to read or study my Bible, impatience, eating healthy, and self-esteem issues. I'm bored, I'm tired, and I'm ready to go home.
But God says that there is a time for everything.. a time to laugh and a time to cry. A time to love Peru and be crazy about it and a time to tough it out and finish up what I came here to do. There is a time to be silly and a time to evaluate my life, future plans, and what God is showing me and decide where to go from here.Now is the time to buckle down and rely on God to fill my daily needs. Now is the time when I must have faith and wait patiently on the Lord to reveal His plans and desires for me. Now is the time to praise the Lord- because ALWAYS the Lord deserves to be praised.
Coming to Peru is not about me. It's not about what I can do, how I can reach people, or what I can learn- it's about Christ leading and God working. I know without a doubt that God has called me here for this time. Not just for the first fun 5 months, but for an 8 month adventure with Him. God called, I answered and said "Here am I". Today I will say "Here am I again Lord, I will wait on you, use me when you want too, I will trust you."I will trust you God that your timing is perfect and that your ways are higher than mine.