Monday, February 10, 2014

While I'm Waiting

"I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord"

- John Walker

I think waiting on God is one of the hardest aspects of my faith. I mean going, listening, doing- yes that can be challenging, or annoying or scary- but at least it's exhilarating. For me though, waiting is just boring. I'm anxious, I'm impatient. I want to know what God wants for me and what He is doing and I want to know it now! I want Him to take me here and there and around the world, and to different countries, and to bless me, and to use me-- but often I don't want to kneel down and wait on Him. To wait until He is ready. To wait until He says go-- and not just jump ahead.

Lately I have been waiting. I'm waiting for swimming classes to start so that I can be busier. I'm waiting to start teaching English lessons at the school. I'm waiting til we can go to the orphanage. I'm waiting to work out my summer plans, and I'm waiting to see what major God wants me to do. Honestly every day of waiting is an emotional and psychological struggle to keep sane and positive. How can I demonstrate the character of Christ if I am impatient and anxious?

No I must choose to glorify God in my waiting day by day by patiently studying His word, studying Spanish so I can better witness to the people, and serving in the small, dirty jobs that nobody wants to assist with. God calls us where we are and for what His will not ours.

I'm trying everyday to be thankful for one thing or to learn one thing new while I'm struggling in this anxious period of waiting. Here are a few things I've been thankful for:

- a good friend Bernice Bouzy to inspire me to memorize the book of 1st John
- animal balloons to practice clowning around with and give to kids in the clinic and neighborhood
- a newly found Spanish book that clearly explains past tense

While I'm waiting I choose to serve God and worship Him- though it's not easy, and I'm anxious- I choose to trust Him.

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