Monday, January 27, 2014

Somewhere in the Middle

"Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle"

-- Casting Crowns--

Somewhere between the rich and the poor
Somewhere between the saint and the rebel
Somewhere between the American lifestyle and the slums
Somewhere between homesick and never wanting to leave
Somewhere between loving God and being totally burnt out
Somewhere between surrendering all and totally forgetting God

Philippians 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

If we are in the middle, God is giving us a choice- to keep going or to look back to the world. To follow God and persevere trusting that Jesus will continue to work in you, or to go back to your old ways and let Satan rule your life. You get to this point with Christ, where you realize He's not a Santa Clause God- following Him is not following yourself, it will not be easy- and you can choose to stop if you want. But if you want to continue following God, you have to go all in.

I used to think being an sm for a year was going all-in. I thought that surrendering for a year meant I was totally going crazy for God and that my relationship and walk from Him would be set after this year. Let me tell you: I was wrong. God doesn't want one year, He wants my life. Don't get me wrong, being an SM is a great start. But God is calling me for so much more. He says that's great you gave me one year, but what about your future, your career, your talents, your friends, your future husband, your time.. I want everything.
And honestly it's hard because my selfish desires clash with God's desire. But lately God has been telling me, make your choice...

I can't be caught in the middle.
I can't be looking back at my past while trying to face my future.
I can't cling to my selfish ambitions or hopes
I need to surrender them to Christ.

Then the Lord told Abram, ‘leave your country, your relatives, and your father’s house and go to the land that I will show you.’” – Gen 12:1 

So are you in the middle? Did you start surrendering but never finish? Are you stuck? Then you need to jump, you need to leave, you need to change. Pray to God and ask Him to take you out of the middle. Ask Him to lead you to a place where He can circumcise you with His love and spirit and give you a new heart. Ask the Lord of Mercy to take you out of the middle.

Ezekiel 36:26  And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

In the end, between Satan and the Lord- Satan gets the middle because they are not covered in Christ's blood. Thus we cannot be caught in the middle. Pray that God takes you out of the middle today and truly teaches you surrender.

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