Monday, January 6, 2014

Orphanage week 2

Orphanage Experience Part 3
Two weeks done- only one more to go. I’m mostly relieved, because being at that orphanage has been 10x harder than I ever imagined, but I’m actually going to really miss those kids and the quiet time I’ve had with God there.
I fell in love with those boys there- casa ocho- I want to take them all home. And then dear little Patty and Nikel, who are silly and crazy older girls, whom we teach English lessons to every day. They are doing so well and learning so much- who will continue to teach them? And cute little Julie who wears little skirts and is so skinny, who will play the animal game with her? A few of these prescious little kids have somehow already weaved themselves into a place in my heart.. and I know they won’t soon be forgotten.
Last week was significantly better than the first- not that it wasn’t hard at times- because it definitely was… and I’d be lying if I didn’t mention many afternoons we would lie in our beds covered in sweat whining that we’d have to get back up and play with the kids or help in the kitchen. It was still hard to love sometimes- especially when dirty smelling kids would reach for your hand or pull on your hair— and my initial instinct would be RUN and go back to sleep. But overall, last week Megan and I came prepared. We were ready for the mystery meats we might have to disect with our hands, the hot rice we would have to serve, the smells we would have to live with, the toilet that would refuse to flush, and the bucket showers which we would soon learn to LOVE.. We were prepared to have extra hours when all we would be able to do is sit in our small house, fan ourselves from the heat, and read, write, or talk about God, life, and big words like IMPACT, LOVE, and PASSION and how they affect us..
But this past week we got smart. We decided that to the best of our abilities we would remain positive, look inside with a new perspective. Every night after a light dinner we would exercise for about 30 minutes on the court outside and then lay down and stare at the stars. And when we started gazing at those wonderous stars..
That’s when we began to come ALIVE!
We’re in Peru, we’re in Peru we realized. This is it- the sm year we’ve been waiting for, we’ve been dreaming about- and this moment, this day is never going to be relived. Do we want to go home? Maybe- Do we love the orphanage and all the staff here? Maybe not. But honestly that doesn’t matter. What matters more is God and what He is calling us to do. 
I don’t want to live this year- no matter how hard it may be- wishing it was over.. only to go back to the states and miss it.. No! I don’t want to go back to the states the same way I came.. No! God is at work here! God is at work in our hearts! And sometimes even when it seems we’re not making a huge difference in the world- no we’re not gonna be superheros like we maybe once hoped-but no matter what- God is at work! Do you want proof? Look inside our hearts!
You see you go to be a missionary because you think you have something to offer the world, you want to change it, want to save it— but then when you go, instead of you grabbing the world in your hands and spinning it all around, the world grabs you and even greater God holds you. You realize that YOU are the one being changed! YOU are the one gaining a new perspective, learning how to love, and learning about the reality that millions face every day.
So yes I hope and pray that I can make an impact. That through me- God can change a life or plant a seed of hope. But I’m learning now how little this sm journey is about me helping others or even service but more about God helping me learn to follow Him wherever He leads.

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