Saturday, January 25, 2014


 Side note: The more I learn about Jesus, the more I begin to hate myself. People often think "Oh your a missionary- a super Christian- your a girl that does the right things." But honestly it's not like that. Day by day while I'm here in Peru and South America I am being convicted of how sinful I am and how far away I am from Christ. I am learning to hate my sinful self a little bit more. I am learning that I can't trust myself, because as Paul says I do the things I hate. Does that mean I can keep sinning? No I must constantly fight the battle against sin and selfishness... but I must fully everyday rely 100% on Christ and not on my own strength.I am learning not to love myself for who I am- because that would be selfishness- but because Christ is living and remaking me.

"So often, we feel like we deserve things. We have a right to certain things.
We feel like we deserve running water. We feel like we deserve our dinner’s to be cooked by our parents. We feel like we deserve a house over our head, and a warm bed to sleep in.  We feel like we deserve a smart phone. That we should be paid a certain amount of money for our jobs.
This is usually because it has become the norm for us. We are so used to having things a certain way, that we begin to expect things. It can begin with things as little as expecting a car ride home from church, and skipping the thank you because they “should’ve given you a lift anyway.” Or, someone has been doing other favours, such as taking out your trash every week. Then one day, they forget to, or they are unable to. Because you feel entitled to that person doing you the favour, you complain, you demand things from them, and you are offended."

Before I came to Peru, I thought I deserved alot. Afterall, I make good grades in college, am a "good kid", have a nice well off family- I thought I deserved love, to be taken care of, to be protected, to be provided for, to have clean water, to be healthy, to receive the best education, to be able to have any career I choose, to have toilet paper.. the list goes on.Yes I thought I deserved those things; I thought I was entitled to them.

And then I came to Peru as a missionary and realized: no one owes me anything. Life isn't just or fair- one person does not deserve one thing or another. No  race, class, or achieved person deserves to be taken care of any more than another does. Money is simply money- often used as a ticket to entitlement- money can be gone with the wind in a number of seconds due to an accident, a death, a mistake, a lawsuit. Race is simply family history- back ground- DNA, a chance. Achievements are only temporary, comparative, quantitative, something only to be remembered...

What makes one person think that because of their money they deserve to be waited upon by a servant while a baby across the world deserves to die?
Or because of race one person can receive free medical treatment but another one deserves death from a terminable disease? No of course it's not fair. It's not fair that in America people have so much that they waste and are dying from obesity of eating while other countries are starving and malnourished.
Are we entitled?
We are not.
Do we feel entitled?
Often we do.

We must ask God to open our eyes and realize that we are not entitled, we do not deserve what we have been given. We are blessed- we are fortunate. And we are blessed by God- with His money, family, friends, and gifts- so that we can bless others.

We are not entitled to houses, bathrooms, friends, loving families, food, or safe jobs
We are gifted by God
And sometimes we are given challenges, and struggles to strengthen our faith
God does not promise us easy, rich lives if we follow Him
He does not promise us entitlement to anything
But He tells us that because of His grace, He will give us the best thing in the world- the thing we don't deserve at all- a place in heaven- the home and palace of Christ Himself- for all of eternity.
God has given us so much more than we deserve because the only thing we deserve is death for our sins
Thank God today for your blessings and for salvation.

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