Sunday, September 1, 2013


-"Holiness, holiness is what I long for. Holiness is what I need- what I need. Holiness, holiness is what you want from me. It's what you want from me. Take my heart and mold it. Take my mind, conform it. Take my will, transform it to yours, to yours Oh God."

Sometimes it's hard to be a missionary. I've only been here a week and a half yet already I struggle with many things.

When people ask how my SM journey is going so far, I say "great, or amazing" because it is. But at the same time I can't ignore many challenges, struggles, and heart aches that contrast the utmost joy I feel at some moments. It's definitely hard at times. I miss my family, friends, comforts of home, being able to be clean or look nice, healthy food, feeling healthy, having energy, and doing things I'm good at. Yet despite these challenges as real as they are, they don't matter compared to the calling by God that I have received. The call that we all have received: to be holy.

Today my devotional book hit me right on the top of the head with exactly what I needed to hear. It said "Continually restate to yourself what the purpose of your life (aka sm year) is. The destined end of man is not happiness, nor health, but holiness." The one thing that matters is whether a man will accept the God who will make him holy.

God must reveal to me that I am unholy but also awaken an intense craving for a closer relationship with Christ and holiness. "Holiness means unsullied walking with the feet, unsullied talking with the mouth, unsullied thinking with the mind- every detail of life under the scrutiny of God."
* quotes by Oswald Chambers

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