Ephesians 5:22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
I'm doing many things in Peru that are uncomfortable. Giving shots, learning medical procedures, leading worship talks, speaking Spanish, and sharing my testimony to the Peruvian people. Sometimes I feel like these things are in utmost contrast to my natural character- timid and afraid of needles and the clinical setting. But that's the beautiful thing about being here- Christ is changing me and teaching me so much. When we trust God with our fears and doubts, God not only blesses us but He changes our hearts as well. When we let God do His will and show us things that hurt us or scare us, it opens up a new door through which Christ can use us and it strengthens our faith in Him.
It's my desire that He makes my journey here uncomfortable at times so that I can grow with Him and trust Him more. When He asks me jump or walk on water, He is always by my side. He will not let me drown or give me more than I can handle. Are you letting God make your life in uncomfortable so that He can live in you more?
I want Christ to change my heart. I want Him to break my heart for the things that break His. I want Him to give me His eyes so I can see the people here like He sees them.--I've only been here a little over a week and already I have realized how selfish and shallow my desires often are. I think so much of myself and so little about others and Christ. The people here are truly teaching me how to care and how to walk humbly with God. The Adventists here are so devoted to Christ and His ministry with the church. It's very inspiring. God is slowly beginning to open my eyes so that I can see like Jesus.
In the clinic:
"I need your hurt; I need your pain. It's not love any other way..." Tenth Avenue North
"I want to know who you are, even if your falling apart.
Reach in and touch your scars.
All your shame you kept inside your heart."
It's easy to love in the clinic, especially when you are giving shots, because you see people when they are in broken and in need. I understand the pain the people are going through and I know how badly it hurts. Therefore, because I see and have felt their pain, I am in the best position to comfort and understand the patient. Today I gave my first 5 shots to patients. It was scary at first but when I give a shot, I don't think about it. I make myself do it because I know it's best for the person and will help them eventually. I guess I'm learning that sometimes you have to hurt someone in order to make them better and true love is doing the best thing for someone even when it hurts you.
It gives me just a little idea of how Christ must feel when He is working in us and has to break us apart or hurt us before He can remake us. I feel so bad for the patient who I am giving the shot too but I understand why they need the shot, therefore I focus on giving the shot and not them, when I have to give it. I think that God feels the same way about us because He loves us so much. When He has to do things that break our heart, I think it hurts Him more than it hurts us. It's similar to the feeling when I have to give shots in the clinic, especially to children. It's difficult and hard- but it reminds me of Christ's love for us. He loves us enough to always choose what's best for us.