Monday, June 3, 2013

On starry nights

"I hope you look up in the stars and I hope they change your mind."
Being outside is one of the most beautiful things in the world- but even more so being alone on a dark starry night on a lake. That's what I did tonight and I definitely found God out there. I mean come on how can you be in nature and not see Christ's love and beauty?

Tonight I'm struggling with a few different things:
#1. I feel unqualified to do my responsibilities and am overwhelmed.
#2 I treat the people I love like "crap"-- according to the brother who I love more than anyone else in the whole world
#3 My friends are all gone--(ok definitely an exaggeration and a lie)
#4 I want to be a counselor not a director
#5 I'm going to Peru next year
When I went outside I heard and felt God's promises and felt God's peace. Now I feel him leading me. It's just really hard for me to listen to God sometimes because I don't like what he says. I feel like God is telling me to reach out to ALL the staff and not just hang out with my friends my age. It's just honestly my mind tells me oh brother don't hang with those immature kids.. and I really don't want too. God tells me I need to be a witness to the staff at the lake and treat everybody with respect love and care. Why is God's calling so hard? Why do I have to be different? I really love having friends and feeling "popular" or accepted for a little while, why do I have to do things to change that?
Why God why?
On starry nights I find my answers in the sky.

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