Because I know that nothings ever gonna be the same
From this day on, everythings gonna change
And I'm scared
Oh I'm scared
Radical isn't easy
And it won't be the same
Everything must change
There's going to be a point in your life when you realize following God isn't easy, isn't popular, isn't normal, and isn't always fun. In the past week what I've been learning about God is I can't have Him and this world. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't have God and have the things this world treasures. Because this world is sinful and God is holy. Mashing them together makes a muddy mess- God calls the mix lukewarm and He says "I will spit you out of my mouth."
It's not going to work. The more you learn about God the more you will hate your old self and you will hate the world's selfish ways. You will hate sin and be convicted of things you never before realized were wrong in your life. You will be torn away from old friends and lose trust for people you used to admire. You will value things differently. Everything will change. And you find yourself feeling this total identity crisis- that's where I'm at.
There comes a point when you have to make a conscious decision: Will I choose God and sacrifice my own desires, friends, talents, and even dreams?- everything I am now and once stood for?
Or will I forget/deny Christ and keep living in my comfort zone?
Choosing to ignore the question is rejecting Christ and the Holy Spirit's movement in your life.
“And to the angel of the church in Laodicea write: ‘The words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of God's creation. “‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. ...
See this is the thing I hate about so many Christian movies, Christian books, and the whole "goody goody" Christian reputation. We see pictures of beautiful Christian girls, that are athletic, smart, kind, popular, talented, have beautiful boyfriends and are living just like every other girl in the world.
We see Christian girls in beauty pageants and wearing bikinis at the beach- they look and act like everybody else, except for better: extra pretty and extra popular. Now don't get me wrong- I believe that God will bless His followers and make them joyful. But is it really the desires of this world that He chooses to fill? Or will He change the heart of the follower first and change their desires to His desires?
Honestly I'm sad and scared because I'm at this crucial path right now where I choose total God or total complacency. I'm not going to lie. I like where I'm at right now (this saddens me and scares me). I like being a Christ follower but not too radical. You know being the kind of Christ follower that tries to make everybody happy... NO! Following Jesus will give you enemies, opposition, and persecution. If your life is missing all that are you really serving God where He wants?
I've finally came to this crossroad. I hate the "too spiritual" attitude and the "goody goodyness". I have been called "goody good" and "perfect" far too many times in my life. I HATE those memories. I HATE those names. Yet if my old friends and family are going to see it like that- then so be it.
I'm choosing today that I want God for every part of my life. I want to spend more time with Him and put Him before my old friends because I know that He is the only thing that matters. I know that while this will be hard- especially at camp this summer- with Christ I can overcome.
Matthew 5:13 You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet.
What's stopping you from living 100% on fire for Christ? For following His will? Is it your friends, your business, your schoolwork, or your fear of not being accepted to people that matter to you? Today I'm choosing God no matter what happens because God alone is enough for me. I encourage you to pray to God and tell Him you are willing to surrender even your dreams to Him and follow Him wherever He leads, despite the consequences.