Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Daniel Fast Day 2 Journal

Honestly I'm struggling..
This is going to be a lot harder than I thought. Not only is it horrible not having any food to choose from, but this "healthiness" is making my stomach upset. I am constantly hungry and I crave "real food". I have the constant urge today to go on facebook because today I've been really stressed. Both eating and facebook are two of my most popular coping methods. So yes this is difficult- but I will not quit. Harder than not going on facebook and eating healthy is making time for God- an hour. This is sad that this one of the most challenging parts. My day is so busy and I should most definitely be doing homework right now. But right now I'm choosing to put God first over my schoolwork and spend this hour with him.
I just got off the phone talking to my mom. It was a really selfish conversation I'm sad to admit. I've been pretty selfish today, yes the Holy Spirit has definitely just convicted me of that. During my phone conversation, I asked my mom if she had thought about Peru anymore and prayed about it for me. She said for the first time she prayed to God with an open heart about it! That's a really big step for me, because I have basically asked God that if he wants me to go to give me my parents approval. If my parents say yes I feel like I should go. But I'm not ok with going if my parents aren't comfortable with it or don't agree. So ya I want to go to Peru, it's just really on my heart right now. My mom was asking me why I want to go. I told her I'm tired of school, tired of America, tired of selfishness, tired of fake.. I want to heal people. I want to help people, to change lives, and to be a doctor. I want to share Christ's love.
I guess that's all- that's how I feel right now. I'm stressed out here with so much going on recently and trying to get LGI certified at the same time, but I'm trying to just have faith. I'm fighting a cold too.
" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me- Philippians 4:13."
My hearts in Peru right now... I want to go so bad...
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