Friday, January 18, 2013

White Funeral

Have you ever been to a funeral that seemed to drag on and on? The people keep talking about how great he was, what all he had done, how he always recycled his paper plates, his embarrassing stories they would never forget… You’re like ok enough he’s dead, bury the man so I can go home =)

Well I’ve been having one of those funerals with God. I just don’t want it to end. I tell God I’m ready, ready to die but then I don’t really give it all… But wait did you take care of my summer camp references? What about this summer can I go back to how it was? Are you going to give me enough money to be here? Are you sure I shouldn’t handle my life and my problems? But that guy is really cute, I need him..

I’m hanging on to myself while God is trying to let me die. He wants to rule in me 100%. He has done so much for me this year. He has taken out many distractions in my life and put in many positive role models that are beautiful examples of a Spiritual Chistian. He has taught me that no matter what happens, he will provide for me at the right time right when I need it. He has shown me that He will take care of me and that I need to die to self.

I’m ready for my white funeral to be over.

Have you had your white funeral: the burial of of the old life.

“You cannot go into your funeral in excitement because nobody dies in excitement. Death means you stop being.”

“Do you agree with God that you have stopped being the striving, earnest kind of Christian you were?

And is there a place in your life marked as a last day, a place where the memory goes back too, where you said Here now I truly die.

Romans 6:4 Buried with him… that.. even so we should also walk in newness of life.

What are your excuses? What are the things that are keeping you from truly dying with Christ?

Your not ready, me neither? Your afraid, God will provide. You are selfish, yikes me too: that’s why we must die.
We must look the gun in the face and say I do love God. – if you have ever wanted to be a martyr, now is your chance. Are you ready to die for Christ? Something more painful than physical death because it’s everything we used to stand for, everything we used to believe, everything we wanted, everything we dreamed. If you are ready to choose death, stand on your cross. Being crucified will be painful. The nails will hurt, they leave eternal scars of pain. The thorns on the crown of your head will dig into your brain and change the way you think. They will force you to think like Christ and blood will flow from your head. You will be whipped by other so called Christians. You will be betrayed and persecuted, alone or not the center of attention. You will feel abandoned by old friends and family. You will realize that what you used to have is gone. It is all over- you have betrayed yourself. Faerie tales are over because you have entered a war. You are now a representative of Christ; He is now your King and the ruler of your soul, spirit, and body.
Ode to Death
Dear God, I ask that you release me right now from the chains that have been locked around my heart: the chains of selfishness, jealousy, and pride, dreams of beauty and glorification. I want to die to everything my self, spirit, and soul believes in and lives for. I don’t want to live each day like it is about me. I don’t want my strive to be for good grades, a hot guy, or even a healthy body. I want to search for you like I am in a desert searching for water. I want to talk to you more. I want you to talk to me too- and I want to listen. I will listen God. When you say “Give it up” I will. When you say “Follow me” I do. I understand that death comes before marriage. And so I choose to die to myself today right now at 12:08 on Friday January 17th. I want to live differently from this day on, and I pray you help me to change my ways. I know that total surrender is a process, but God I really do want to die. I’m tired of the way I’ve been living. Some specific things I choose to die too today are: My summer camp choices, the desire for a boyfriend, the desire to be an angel, my connections with my old friends. I give you total control of all these situations. It is my sincere prayer God to die today because I want to be connected and committed to you and you alone. I thank you for being willing to come in my heart. I pray I live differently because of today.

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